How simple
Just laying side by side
One of
If not
The best feeling in this world
To be held
To be wanted
To be adored
Just to be loved
To the point of pure insanity
Or to the edge
jumping into a spontaneous rift
It’s in the present
I treat it like a gift
Never really know when It will become a last kiss

Given another option
I’d still choose this
Lessons learned
Opportunity missed
But to explain what’s felt
Cards on the table
It’s what’s been dealt
Hands up
Palms out
No malice
I can see your doubts
Don’t know how to read minds
Maybe not clear but I can make out what’s between the lines
You’d tell me that your fine
Heard it before
Cause for concern
I don’t mind working back
Peace is never given
It’s earned

It’s effortless
Every thought that crosses my mind
Moments of peace
Like the warmth of the sun in the morning
Or the refreshing scent of rain
A rhythm that’s only naturally felt
Clearing up the air
Something soothing about the breeze
Heavy prints left in the sand
Side by side
It brings a smile to my face with such ease

They always tell you how you're supposed be
but they don't tell you what it takes to be like who you want to  be
The effort ,the sweat, the tears
heartbreak
to High Peaks
goals set but never reached
simple thoughts that never made it
Broken to being vindicated
The eyes can't see what's behind them foward is the only setting
tired of being trapped
needing to let go
of my breath holding it in just to see if I can still think cognitively
all these thoughts firing off all because well I simply just want to do me.

A Fear we never think about
Illogical till it happens
Sharks in the pool were always a thought
little did I know I would be able to relate
Deep dive  Six feet
drowning isn't an option or is it
no life guard on duty
shouldve paid attention to the signs
But maybe after my friends might actually visit
I float enough so I don't have to tread but the way **** is going
I Might just go off the deep end

It’s there
It’s unseen
Untapped
Undeveloped
We all have it
We all waste it
The one thing we almost never do
Accept it
A gift given to you alone
Potential to conquer
Yet we’ve been told to hold back
The insecurities of society deny us the right to embrace our destiny
Never apologize for using your natural abilities to their best abilities
Without man to challenge god
Humanity would never know mortality

sick to my stomach
everything I ever wanted
she's perfect
Knees buckled when she went for the door
all my mistakes finally spewed out on the floor
alone again with not a dime left
all because I refused to accept
It isn't even her fault I can't complain
brought my own world down
inflicted my own pain
Not a ******* i hate to feel this way
But if it means I'll make it through the night
well my thoughts might come out and play
No sense of direction
splash my face look up and there it is
The disappointing reflection.

You grind away
Burning both ends
With nothing ever received
The masters at the top
Portray a better man
Disguising a den of thieves
Any thought with a shred of hope
Torn out and replaced
There is no reaching the top with any kind of grace
It’s only a matter of time
Before you realize you’re an economic slave
Another form of currency
Blindly placing yourself up for trade
Accept that this was done before our eyes
A cross placed on a store front and yet we call it faith
Sold on dreams and gold
Never question why
You’re a cog
A sheep
Slaughter by the masses
How else will the spoon fed eat
We take care for those up top
Not out of respect
It’s our greatest failure
It’s how we’ve been programmed and taught

I could never explain what the feeling is like
But I’ve always known
It doesn’t seem like a sickness
I’ve always pondered
Always a thought in the back of my head
An acceptance only I knew and no one else would believe
I’ve always welcomed my final day
As kid I didn’t fear death but wondered would it matter if I died in this instant
Would the world care
Would I actually ever become anything relevant
Temptation wasn’t a thing but rather a challenge
I did things that I felt might end me in the quickest way
It’s only grown since then
It’s not a l threat because I don’t plan things
They just happen
I’m well aware I need help
I just don’t know how to anymore
I feel trapped and have no actual words to say because if I do they don’t seem real
I accept my flaws the issue seems I don’t feel my words carry any weight or any substance for someone to want to listen to me.
It’s always the same response I’ve heard it all
I’m trying really I am
My efforts should be noticed but I don’t feel they seem like enough  because well deep down
I still don’t see my purpose
I don’t think I need help finding it because I’ve never felt I served one.
Since I was a young child I’ve thought this and you wouldn’t believe it if I said it out loud
Maybe reading will help understand what I feel
I’m sorry
This is what I feel on a daily basis and can’t stop these thoughts
I do not mean to offend in anyway
please know that
This is my solace . Words on paper

I often contemplate
I weigh out the pros and cons
is it worth it?
The anguish,the pain
restless nights , Heavy thoughts
then again if it works
The tenderness,the joy
The peaceful nights ,the bliss
all up to me really
But I can't seem to understand what I have to do
Serenity seems like an impossible task and stability just seems like a myth
But I know I'm the captain it's my ship I'll go down with a smile and realize it was all worthwhile

Not that I'm constantly looking but if you want laugh at my love life here it goes
I get rejected even in my dreams
so broken that even where I have all control
I still give myself no hope
only place I might have a chance
yet I still find ways to let it all pass
It's a struggle to figure out where my charm lies
I might've had my shot at some point  but still I watched it slowly die
So mislead by low self esteem I probably already saved my queen
yet I just handed her over due to the fact
well...i don't think I'm capable of ever really feeling loved back
I don't know how to play the game I was never really taught it also might be I can't ever seem to hide my thoughts
I wear my heart on my sleeve as cliché as it sounds
No one liners here I'll hit you with the truth 
it's okay back away scared of the profound
I already have my daily reminder
Everybody loves to laugh at a Sad clown.

Attracted to the broken
Like myself
I yearn to be fixed
To make amends
To feel once again
To wake up to my favorite person at my side
It’s not in the cards for me
And it wasn’t for you
So broken
No matter the repairs
I’ll never feel like new
Find me in a thrift store
Along with the other gems
Marked down due to being used

Headed in the wrong direction
seeking out a prince to make her a queen
Little does she know she rules without a King
The crown she wears made of the purest of gold
harvested deep with in her soul
chipped out of that giant heart she firmly holds
no one can come near it
last **** who did tried to exploit and extract
she never seems to step back
strong willed as ever
she's met some nobles but she deserves much better
No Need to share the throne you've done it all and more while being alone.
stop and think everything you've ever accomplished has been on your own without needing a hand to hold
much greater than I only word to describe you is bold
Out shine the rest out grind the rest
Chin up crown nice and polished
hold that head up high let every one see the pain you've abolished
Queen of Love and all kinds of malice
let some pawn try to woo you all they can do is run back and say their effort was valiant

Weight on my shoulders
Anchored down my mind
Floating away
Closer to the light
Not a step forward
Yet it’s all passed me by
Ticking away eventually I’ll fade
Stepping over feelings no one is safe

Lots of time spent arguing and quiet
A life full of regrets isn't something I look foward to
so if I happen to swallow my pride and move on don't hate me
Understand I've given it alot of time and I'll never get that back so it's all worth it
The right choice to sit back rejoice with my moments
My mind is at peace and my goals set steadily ahead of me
Cutting out those who hang on me heavily
I march to my own tune my own melody
Sing it next time you decide to remember me.

Often I find myself questioning everything
is it worth it?
why do I care?
why do I contemplate?
Seems like everytime I'm around someone I can't seem to get it right
I keep to myself but then it becomes an issue
people think I'm out of touch or just lost
far from that more like ready to burst
too honest at times I would say
and I guess some can't handle it and just rather not come my way
Truth hurts it's part of the reason I rather wear my heart on my sleeve no need to deceive
I'll let you keep thinking you know what's going on and it's exactly what you see.

The reason no one knows if  trees make a sound when they fall is because they don’t care enough to be around them
You’re a tree and you provide oxygen which is life
Not everyone deserves to live

Misunderstood to it’s fullest extent
Sorry but 2 cents aren’t enough to invest
Constantly told what I should do
Didn’t know I lived to satisfy the views
Feeling like I’ve been put on a leash
Finding a good spot this noose might provide a release
Out of turn
Out of line
Speak more about yourself
I’ve already heard what you have to say about mine

really don't know if she's got a thing for me
is it a slight crush or maybe it's growing
Eye contact always reveals what she feels
seems like she's intrested
Seems like I know what I think this is
or am I wrong to think like this?
Am I in the wrong if I maybe try for a kiss...
rather not kick myself after if it's a miss
or i might just a take a chance what's the worst that can happen alttile bit of fun and romance?

Tell me a story
Doesn’t have to be true
It could be a memory
Or maybe something about you
Give me a smile
I’d love to hear you laugh
Nothing in this world could compare
I treat every moment with you like it’s my only chance

Not everyone is out to harm you
Not everyone is going to love or even like you
It’s not about them
It’s about you

Beyond what I’m able to believe
I’d put down all bets that you might leave
Pushed past wanting to stay
Nothing left to claim
Only thing you can keep is what’s already engraved
Remember if you’d like
Moving on it’s a short time
With long roads and new lives

Under my breath
Behind the grin
Distracted by a laugh
A tear on my cheek
The irony of asking your final words
No one ever knows the right thing to say.
Hopefully you remember that while marking a grave.

The pen hails mightier than the sword
Blood spilled is never looked over
Ink may stain but eventually will fade
The words of man still resonate
Books passed on with teachings
Contorted by the Kings
The message stays the same
What changes is the state of mind
TIRED COLD AND HUNGRY
fed up with the rest
The weight of the world finally enough to have us collapse
Feed you motivation to have you finish the task
Never mind what lies ahead
It’s only a repetition of the past

I’d ask for you to speak to me
But the actions are enough
louder than anything your words would express
It’s fine
Just hope it was worth your time
Never one to disappoint
I’ll continue to be another broken toy

Give me a reason or a cause
Not much to offer
But plenty to gain after you fall
I bring back memories you didn’t think were fair
The type to lie but tell the truth hidden in a form of a BUYER BEWARE
Can’t seem to grasp what you lack
A stockpile of numbers with no real value to add

Timing is everything
From the approach
Either rushed or too slow
Holding hands to a kiss
My attempts often dismissed
No need to cry it’s okay
Not a man fueled by pride
It’s uncommon to fall
Balance knocked right out from under me
All self control is obsolete
Not looking but it seems
Love is the returning champ of hide and seek

She talks to me like she doesn’t care
I’m just another face in the crowd
Noise without a voice
Nothing to add or gain
Just another option
I understand I don’t dwell

Party out with the lord of the four
Hanging in the bathrooms
Roll up
Have some more
I’m ****** at the moment
But you seem kind of fine
Cut up with the rest
Stay in line
My my what a lovely smile you have
I’m afraid I’m sober now
This all seems like a ******* drag

In a room full of bodies
But no real weight
Smiles and laughter
All self hate
Fun with friends
Can’t Relate

Nothing like a full house to remind you your alone
****** on everything
Roulette on the phone
Either you don’t want to answer
Or no one is home

It’s crumbling
Everything I work for
Gone
Ready for an oath of silence
Nothing left
Taking in every moment
Rather not waste my breath
Nothing to fear while I’m alone
There’s a beat still there if you can get past the stone

Bred in a world where your worth is measured
In diamonds and pearls
Pick and choose based on what material you use
Where possessions takes you farther than moxie
The world goal set to race for more
Hypocrisy becomes a norm
Genuine gestures taken advantage
Laugh at those who care
Tyrants have been deemed fair
Global hate is seen as culture
Sad to speak out
Cut throats ready to put you down
Head in the sand
While they take food from your kids mouths
Thank them for it every 4 years
Poison switched for the cure
Humble beginnings have become obscured
Not true you yourself
Don’t call it honest you’re just insecure

No pain
No happiness
No calm
No emotion
You’re a human
Things only seem real
With time eventually you’ll die or heal

A night to remember
For some to forget
Final place of solace
A life time of regret
Seeking inner peace
Putting an end to the pain
Carry me to comfort
A final solution is what you seek my friend
Hold me and never let go
It’s a small price to pay for a healthy soul
Tell me I’m loved
I rather keep the truth to play it safe
It’s more than enough
It’s all I can take

Like magic in a hat
Reach into nothing
Pull out a distraction
A game of smoke and mirrors
Couple tricks up my sleeve
A bouquet of flowers
Don’t expect them to be fresh
Maybe if you have a second stop and catch their scent

The difference between struggles and needs
Not a fine line at all
Often persuaded by vanity
In a situation with an obvious choice
Statements repeated becoming the voice of reason
Obstacles built higher in our image
Frustrated with outcomes the moment they leave our lips
Seldom the times we can state the truth without affliction

We often tell others of their flaws
But when reminded of our own hostility takes over
That’s the ego coming into play
Needed for certain situations that involve triumph but not for self analysis
Learn to set aside anger
It’s only a catalyst or beacon for self destruction
When the mind is clear  so is the path
Improving becomes easier and so does everything else
Happiness will no longer seem like something to achieve rather a part of your everyday mindset
Learn to accept that perfection is constantly evolving and shouldn’t be the goal
Everyday you are a better version of yourself because we never stop learning
Mistakes of the past shape our decisions in the future
With ego being there you can either make the right choice or relive something you’ve tried to avoid
Ultimately it is up to you which seems logical

The sun stopped shining and the moon never showed
The world began to tremble yet we stood strong
Accepting and letting go
Unexplainable but we choose to remain ignorant and try to find something to blame
It’s best to let it become history rather than baggage

Skimming through the pages
A calamity of words
A fray
Sincerity between each sentence
Bringing about scents and feeling vividly
The closest way to turn back time
Recall a memory and smile.

To be fair
It’s not a setting or placement
Rather exclusion
Exiled for self thought
I must not
therefore I am
Ten counts
One failure
Enough for attention
Relive tragedy an uncommon remedy for neglect

Nothing special
Another person in your life
No direction
Yet you ask me for the next step
Am I taken into consideration
Or am I just what’s left.

Hard to ****
Hard to love
Hard for anyone
Hard to answer
All of the above

They say falling in love is like when lightning strikes
Who would’ve thought that’s was the goal at the end of the tunnel nice and bright
I always pictured myself with a corpse bride
Guess the roles are reversed
Just don’t tell my girl I didn’t survive last night
Going on with the normalities of everyday life
She found love
The perfect mixture of bourbon and cyanide
Keeps me nice and stiff
A coat of formaldehyde
Get close catch a whiff

Single file or in a crowd
One by one
Painless and expressive
Wandering outside of normal thoughts
Lost with a path to follow
Unsure of its end
Danger is welcomed
Bad times are temporary
So are the long nights

Ask me anything
A simple thought
Curious about my past
An open book
because
why hide the obvious
With enough light
We cast a shadow
Rather be denied for what I am
Than accepted for what you want
Pay attention to the writing on the wall
More about the message less about the font

It’s uncomfortable
Never felt desired or wanted
Nothing to offer
Thank you for the kind words
It won’t bring me back
Nothing to solve it’s just facts
Save your love for someone else
No need for another Im learning to love myself

I took a walk down the boulevard
enjoyed the air
The trees
The gum stuck to the bottom my shoe didn't bother me, Oddly I found it comforting
like I had a reason to drag my feet
continue down another street
hoping I'll run into the girl of my dreams
still asleep day dreaming while my feelings play for keeps
The memories didnt seem to stay in their lane
instead they hopped on the highway and followed their way to the heart
Bad news for them it's up and left new location and brand new spark.

Like the first time
Always memorable
Nervous
Yet I can’t seem to stop
Your laughter ,your smile
Skipping a beat every time  I hear you talk
A grip on my strings
Pull away if you’d like
Or play a tune that sounds nice
Either way
I’ve got your attention
A chance
A second
No ego or pride
Just a crush
Maybe more over time
Cards on the table
Nothing to hide

All of your might
All of your time
Everything done for pride
Overlooked and thrown away
Never to be seen
Behind closed doors clean the wounds that never stop it seems
But of course it’s done for  a glimmer of hope
They’d gladly kick your stool out once you’ve tied your own rope
A time and a place
Never one to stand in single file
******* and your company
Pay me what I’m worth
I’d like to see you go an extra mile

I don’t believe in luck
Everything you do comes full circle
With that said
I owe you the world
Take my hand instead.