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Nov 2019 · 99
Ancestors
Anaïs Nov 2019
Upon that
willow tree
I find my
ancestors
carved in;
It was
tranquil,
Wind
interlocking
with strands
of my brown hair,
I whisper
nonsense,
hoping my
hellos
receive replies
from souls
long passed
I hate high school.
Nov 2019 · 83
Bitter-Sweet Memories
Anaïs Nov 2019
He'd called
Endlessly
Hoping for a
Response
Hoping for
That tension
That beautiful
Tension.

But alas,
Butterfly wings
Had long been
clipped.
Awaiting a lust
Greater than
Fantasy

She sat there,
Hoping for that
Friend
But thoughts were
littered
Chaotically,
Satisfying bitter
indecision
With unrequited
love.

It cracked
Then.
In three insignificant
Seconds,
He broke
Melted into the
Stone cold
Reality,
Hid away under
Tear-stained
Sheets,
Day in
Day out,
Until tissues
Filled those
Cracks,
Until winter
Collided with
Summer,
Until friendship
Bloomed into
Acquaintance,
Until butterflies
Slowly
Awakened.

Until it all
Simply
Faded into
A bitter-sweet
Memory
Nov 2019 · 122
Tell me you love me
Anaïs Nov 2019
tell me you love me,

for i feel love withering away,

as if i'd held no worth in your heart,

you discarded me,

threw me into a dust bin of

conquests, held your posture

while mine melted into

woe.



Tell me you love me,

because i've given it all to you,

gave you my heart and kept none

of it for myself,

you've returned it to me in

in fragments~ in an old postcard

I'd tried to make of it stained glass,

but no glue can repair it.



Tell me you love me,

because without you,

I feel the desperation crawling

in my throat and

I gasp

Gasp for the air you've stolen,

Gasp because I hadn't exhaled,

Gasped because i'd forgotten

I could breathe.



Tell me you hate me,

because I did,

And you did me ever so wrong,

and the hatred you'd feel would

give me the least bit of reassurances

that even an inch of you misses

the touch of my body upon yours.



Tell me to heal~

I whisper alone,

and I do.
Nov 2019 · 144
Life after Death
Anaïs Nov 2019
I shudder
to think
there's no
life
after
death

What if
there is?
It feels
narcissistic
to believe
opening
death's door
won't
make us
plain
nothingness~

I can't imagine
not feeling.
Nov 2019 · 99
Ambivalent
Anaïs Nov 2019
Evanescent
were my thoughts,
Until the sight of
you became manifested
in my daydreams,
And I find myself
ambivalent~
thinking unrequited
love renders me
unwilling to let go,
but knowing,
with miserable rumination,
that the heart only
mends what is
accepted.
Nov 2019 · 1.1k
Bullet
Anaïs Nov 2019
Bipolar love
sings dreams and
nightmares to me,
It coaxes me into
awakeness,
and paralyzes
me into sleep.

It becomes it,
because I fear it--
Becomes unspoken
and ignites an anger
so vulnerable I melt
into cursed tears.

It swallows me whole,
uses me and spits
me out~  empty is
how I feel,
I wonder,
Ever so often,
How it was I
drifted into this
endless sleep.

I faintly hear
a click,
like a bullet
leaving a pistol.
I wonder who it
hit.
Nov 2019 · 197
Diamonds
Anaïs Nov 2019
The twinkling stone
is what becomes most
desired~ A diamond,
a ring, a promise for
eternity~

Rare a love that does not
encompass fears of solitude,
Oh, the drills of society!
How it drills and drills
and drills into us.
How it perfects us and makes
us unflawed~ us, women,
how thankful we should
be for a life in the selfless
abyss.
Fear not, moments of
contained frenzy,
are left unheard~
For we live, trapped,
in an inescapable
labyrinth.
Nov 2019 · 237
Wish Upon a Star
Anaïs Nov 2019
My heart beats in a frenzy,
Uncontrolled and clinging to
fleeting pride,
I wish upon a star,
to give me confidence,
to give me assuredness,
for I feel it has never been
felt before~ Truly, in a way
my pride is not corrupted
by narcissism.

Because deeply,
As my lungs soak in
air and my head spins
irrationally,
I feel how sanity
seeps out of me.

I am left with
a pit of empty
aspirations.
Nov 2019 · 1.6k
Love
Anaïs Nov 2019
I have a fascination with
all things love,
Daydreams constructing expectations
and a daily need for a thing which
I have yet to experience,
It's an obsession which has
evolved into a fear ~
Fear of a broken heart,
of a lonely life,
of distracted dreams.

~ Funny my ability to
overthink.

— The End —