I miss him
It's the new school year, it all reminds me of him.
How we used to stay up all night depriving each other of sleep because we didn't want the conversation to end, how we planned the next year to go, how we said we could work as long as we had confirmation class.
How he said I was all he needed, how he said he could see us with the same ring on our finger, as we ate cereal and had a child or two running around.
It's silly to think of it all now because we were so young and our love was naïve and how he now says our relationship was a sham
But sometimes I think about all we said to each other
And I miss him

Today was goodbye
It feels different this time
Before
I knew you'd be back
Now
I think you might stay away
And I'm not sure
Where that leaves us
But I'm broken
As we fought
It bruised me deep
Cut my heart
Made me weep
And now I lie here
Wishing to go back
Take away the pain
Of watching you pack
I'll see you again
Maybe not now
But this isn't the end
It was just
See you soon
Words I should've said
It's done and over now
You're my best friend
We'll be okay some how
And maybe
When we meet again
We will realize why
Neither of us is very good
At saying goodbye

Walk around, don't make a sound
but I can't hide what my feelings are
in a big crowd
faking smiles
when its yours that my mind is on
we could've been so much more
but it seems you'd had enough
its so unfair
why do I still care
why are you still the one I want
you were the fire to my flame
and the reason for my pain

Maybe I'll get you out of my head
and forget all the words you once said
love within your eyes
but theres lies within your lips
so maybe I'll forgive you,one lie at a time

When I told you
that you could
have a painting
for five
bucks,
you dug your wrinkled
rugged,
years-worked hand
into your
tethered denim
to fish out 5
ones.
& I handed you a
hastily copied
Van Gogh and
you spurted out your
military ID like
a whistling kettle
unable to hold
its steam.

I hope that when you aren't sure
where you're at
again
Van Gogh's "Room"
leads you home.

the first time that i wrote poetry
i find my locution cliché
because it was always winter
in my heart but you were the oxygen
i never knew i'd breathe in
and i have loved you since the day
you have touched my nights
so stay a while with me
in this room where i lay alone
as we hear each others' heart beat
(J.a.tm.)