AllAtOnce

AllAtOnce Oct 2014

one day there will be someone
who knows how you run your hands through your hair
how you play with your fingers when you're nervous
and the clothes that you wear

they'll know the color of your eyes
and how it makes them feel
they'll know which parts of you are for show
and the ones that are real

they'll memorize the books that you read
because they'll read them too
they best part is they don't know you know
and the worst is that neither do you

you'll know how they sing
how bad or how good
you'll know what makes them cry
and the things that should

you'll know how they write their words
and how your name sounds on their lips
loving every syllable
but that you'll never admit

you'll know what they love
but not that it's you
but neither will say anything
until your loving is through

and you still know how they cuddle
but not the hugs that they give
they'll know you like pineapple on your pizza
but not how you live

your relationship will become nothing but facts
you'll wonder what happened now
and you'll spend every day wishing
but there are some things you aren't meant to know

just another one of those random things

#love #lost #change #know #facts

AllAtOnce Oct 2014

*Love Letters*

"I had it memorized" he said "from the very first day
And nothing could ever take that away"
The late night phone calls and sweet off key songs
Bring me the lyrics and I'll sing along
And you sang
"Dear, oh my dear
You don't know how much I feel for you
My heart oh it's breaking, it's breaking in two
I've always felt like this
Oh, can't you see
The person you're meant to love
Honey that's me"
Our duet resounds on the pages like so
Breaths becoming words-swinging to and fro
Your hands brushing mine and dominoes
Falling and breaking
Landing in a row
And you sang
"Dear, oh my dear
You don't know how much I feel for you
My heart oh it's breaking, it's breaking in two
I've always felt like this
Oh, can't you see
The person you're meant to love
Honey that's me"
The memories pass and the song's in reverse
Wondering who could rewrite the verse
Oh talking was sweet but it feels even better
Oh my dear I rewrote this love letter:
Dear, oh my dear
I'm sorry that your heart was breaking
And there's nothing I could do to resolve the aching
I don't feel like you do
And my heart was breaking but he found the glue
Honey i'm not the one that you're meant to love
So breathe in the air and not my perfume
Bring a pencil and write your own tune
Love even more and love even better
Check your grammar and write a love letter

I know it's long but props for reading through to the end

#love #hearts #letters #breaking #dominoes

AllAtOnce Oct 2014

Not Your Song

Sometimes I miss you more than I should
Listening to that song too many times to be good
But then reality hits like an ocean wave
Salty memories and no sweets- secrets I'll bring to the grave
So stars go by without a wish
And I sometimes think: payback's a *****
Snapping back too fast for words
Things I've said < things you've heard*

*The music is louder than my thoughts
Words discarded and hands retaught
Feel the beat and feel my hair
No lies here and no lies there
There's no such thing as happily ever after
But after that night I started to wonder
I raised my standard, you can see
I'm not fighting for you; I'm winning for me
Boom, clap life goes on
By the way, that's our song

So homecoming was last night and I got to thinking how much my life had changed between last year and last night

#love #new

AllAtOnce Oct 2014

Look Back, I Dare You

You smiled at me and I smiled back
And you return to my thoughts, every joke and every fact
"Who is he?" They asked with laughter in their voices
"He was a friend and he dropped off the face of the earth
Almost like he didn't have a choice"
They all sighed: "what a ****
That must have really hurt"
I held his hand as we walked along
You glanced my way and I didn't linger long
"Who is he?"His jealously an angry note
"Oh him- just someone I used to know"
So I pulled my coat tighter
And walked on, stepping lighter
A ring slid on my finger and I almost said yes
You caught the corner of my eye: I took a breath
"What is it?" He asked
"Nothing, just a ghost from the past"
You stopped to stare and I didn't see
I said yes and now it's about me
She tugged on my hand and I picked her up
You walked by, but I don't need your love
"Mama who's that?" She asked softly
I didn't stop walking and said "I don't know, honey."
I didn't look back to see your face
Everything we used to be is just empty space

This is just another one of those concepts that I just ran with.

#love #life #past

AllAtOnce Sep 2014

Six Months

Six months coming, six months gone
Six months going, six months on
Breaking rules and changing minds
Love is coming love is mine
Six months came and six months went
Six months going and six months sent
Twisting tongues like hungry fire
Electric touches, inching higher
Six months left and six months sees
Six months knowing what we'll be
Locking hands and spinning round
Dancing slowly and thinking loud
Six months came and will again
Six months loves what six months ends

#love #months #six

AllAtOnce Sep 2014

you still fit in my poems, see?

there's always that one person
who represents your past
that you say you never want to see
but you really, secretly do
there's always that one person
that you text with rare reply
everything is as it was
and normality is a subtle knife
there's always that one person
that makes your heart beat quicker than it should
the epitome of forbidden love
and hearts split for the lesser good
there's always that one person
the one you just can't let go
breathe your secrets in my ear
take my heart and take my soul
there's always that one person
that makes you want to tear out your hair
that you used to love so much
it isn't even fair
there's always been that one person
with frighteningly beautiful hues
there's always that one person
and, god forbid, i think it's you

i'm actually praying you don't see this. no hard feelings. no feelings at all.

#poetry #past #heartbeat

AllAtOnce Sep 2014

make like a tree and leave

the firsts become lasts
and the lasts become firsts
all good things come to an end
every relationship can live or burn
people come and people go
taking up on the current of life
you try and cling to their remains
and you deafen yourself with your cries
it's hard to even think
that in a year, everything will have changed
don't let go and don't forget
but don't let things be forced or feigned
so much to wonder
too much to breathe
i still wonder
where we will stand when you leave

#sadness #college #firsts #lasts