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  Apr 2018 M Aiman A
Mark Tilford
are you feeling guilty
did I let you down
did I disappoint you
are you feeling guilty
you were my lover
my friend
are you feeling guilty
at the time
I only took what was mine
are you feeling guilty
jesus, we shared a bed
all of a sudden it's dead
are you feeling guilty
you had to know
when it began
it would end
are you feeling guilty
you took my soul
to places it did not know
thought we had goals
are you feeling guilty
that you
had to go

"Guilty"
  Mar 2018 M Aiman A
Still Crazy
β€œA man is about as likely to ask for help for depression as to ask for directions, and for much the same reason,” said Real, who struggled with his own depression issues. β€œIt's part of the male code, part of masculine culture.”

~~~

when they ask,

I say, parrying fast,
how you doing?

to the persisters, I mutter fine

which is 100% correct...



been fined for the accumulated

made-mistakes, wrong forks taken,

the weight invisible but the

body sags, nonetheless...



you know they know,

you know their thoughts,

why doesn't he snap out of it,

after all he is a man,

he has always been

what we needed,

why can't he

just go back to the person prior...



this code, is not law,

ten times worse,

genetic and culture passed,

double ******,

code so real, like the headaches,

the nightmares, that forbid equanimity...



not true,

we don't expect that of you,

thankful for all you have done,

but eyes betray,

a simpatico misunderstanding,

the instillers, can't take back

what they celebrated previous...



the signals everywhere, few ascertain,

cause the rule is never complain,

don't go near windows,

lest the sunlight diffused, offers no cheer,

but escape temptation ever on offer...



forgive yourself, someone intones,

but what infects my bones,

is non-responsive to the forget antibiotic,

which does not come in pill format



ask me for directions,

I will talk/walk you to your destination,

but when I'm lost,

I'm just a lost man,

who needs to do better,

forgetting is not in my DNA,

but lost is...choking on expectations

of being everyone's savior,

with no one to save you from yourself...
  Mar 2018 M Aiman A
Octavio Paz
I am a man: little do I last
and the night is enormous.
But I look up:
the stars write.
Unknowing I understand:
I too am written,
and at this very moment
someone spells me out.
M Aiman A Mar 2018
In a perfect world
where the best version
of me exist,

I will not lack love
nor friendship

That me would
not be devoid of myself
Nor i need
The never-ending self reassurances
  Mar 2018 M Aiman A
Pablo Neruda
I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine
M Aiman A Mar 2018
I wanna feel you
Like how the flowers feel the spring
Or when it feels the change of the ground below and sky above

A blow from heavy sky
I want you to know that I'm worth dragging in
alongside the flowers you picked in the current

Choking my ripples of breath and pride for you
To let me be in the turbulence
So you will see the extent
Of how our souls are entangled
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