Place in my hands a cloth of satin,
that I may hold it over my eyes,
looking at all those who pass by without allowing them to see emotion in my eyes.

It is too intimate, them seeing my eyes and ****** expressions without knowing me.

I love getting to know a new person, observing each new ****** expression they show, their eyes when they speak, the tone they use, the jokes that expose me to a new realm of their humour and personality.

I don't want other people to see an aspect of me without them taking the time to know me.
Why should people pass by and watch me in a moment and partake in a memory which I do not remember them being in?

So pass me a cloak of invisibility,
that I may clothe myself in it,
allowing myself to only be seen by those who love me.

Because I am my father's child, forgive me whilst I observe your character without allowing myself to fall for you pretences.

Because I am my father's child, ignore me as I ignore you watching me, you thinking that I cannot see you watching me.

Because I am my father's child, hold me back when I replay my past hurts in my tone.

Because I am my father's child, observe me as my doe-like eyes observe the beauties of The Father's world for me.

Because I am my father's child please pull me out of my tornado of self doubt and self hatred when you see a cloud of darkness over me.

Because I am my father's child, do not bother me when my face seems distorted with confusion, I am only dissolving into my thoughts.

Because I am my father's child, ignore the voice you hear when I think I am alone, at times it is the richness in my own tone that I  wish to hear the most.

Because I am my father's child, do not be fazed by the guttural sounds of my prayers, it shakes the ground because whatever I bind on earth is bound in heaven.

Because I am my father's child, please think before you spit words of despair into my face, he and I are still healing from how our father's treated us.

I hold life in my hands but I do not understand how to show it's purpose to the world.

I hold peace in my heart but when that peace wavers I am left to think that my peace was only an illusion of my day.

I find that counting on my own self does not lead to my peace but my suffering.

My heart wants nothing more but to let into itself.

My mind would love to do nothing else but play with fantasies.

But my Spirit,
My spirit wants to hang on.
Hold on, to the lord and not my desires.

i am a filthy crusted towel
who was doomed to forever
in a laundry bin.
but when i came to Him
He made me clean.
i still collect stains
but His love will always make
me clean again.