There is a burden in my heart, there is a wallowing in my spirit, there is a heaviness in my heart.

I want to do more in you lord, I need to do more in you Lord, I find it hard to let go of my desires and walk to you.

But with the little strength I have, I'll call upon your name and I shall be saved, I'll lean into you for help and you'll be my guide .

I come to you lord.
My heart needs you.
My strength grows weak without you.
I know your strength is made great in my weakness, so I come to you father. Please help me.

My tongue has not always been merciful towards you.
My eyes have not always displayed my affection for you.
My ears have not always listened to you.
My hands have not always helped you.
My feet have not always walked towards you.
My heart has not always loved you.
My mind has not always thought justly of you.


I now see that this too is your first go at life.
So I'll not take that right away from you.


I will make sure my eyes always display my affection for you.
That my ears always listen to you.
My hands always help you.
My feet always walk towards you.
My heart to always love you.
And my mind always thinks justly of you.

The beauty of life is found in the small things we observe.
The smaller details we decide to pay attention to, fragments of life we decide to pick up to create our own images and perspectives of.

The beauty of life is found within, that is a decision to not trust ones own self but rather Abba in all of his wisdom and understanding.


The beauty of life is found inside out, accepting that what you see on your body is beautiful and does not deserve to be  demeaned by your own lips.

The beauty of life is found outwardly, in the way we choose to speak to others, whether those we dislike or those to whom we forget we love so much.

It is He who makes me whole.
Not man.
It is He who restores my soul.
Not man.
It is He who has dominion over me.
Not man.
It is He who will truly fill me.
Not man.
It is He who will truly love me,
Not only man.
So when I forget, and begin to return to my *****, Lord please remind me,
"I know the plans I have for you, plans of I good and not evil, plans to give you a hope and a future."
Good things sometimes take some time.
The eternity that you have placed in my heart, I cannot see from the beginning to the end, but you can.,
So I wait on you.
So I look to you.
Remind me o Lord that you are the only one who makes me whole.

I want to be more free in the way I live my life.
Bubble.

For so long I have lived in a bubble, refusing to explore because it was dangerous or it was disrespectful, oh, because it was  ' I said so.'

I want to be more free in the way I live my life.

I want to explore, I want to write, I want to experience, I want to live with all my might.
I need to live with all my might.
Break down the concepts that were ingrained in me.

Yes marriage is great,
But why should it be the centre of my life?
Yes money grants freedom but why must I follow material wherever it walks?

I'm bursting this bubble and escaping this mindset.

I want to be more free in the way I live my life.

I'm renouncing the pain I spoke over myself.
I'm renouncing the hatred I spoke into this family.
the hatred spoke into those of my past,
the Boy who made me realise I was filled with lust,
I am renouncing the words that I spoke and listened to that reduced and reduce my self esteem.
I am renewing my mind with The word.
I am renewing my mind with His love.
I am allowing Him to work through me.
I am forgetting the past, refusing to ponder on old history.
Please carry me through Lord, increase this capacity.
I am so used to ignoring my feelings that accepting them make me feel like I am  wrong.
So peace to my heart.
Joy to my mind.
Salvation to my soul.
The lord  in my spirit, He alone makes me whole.
Please teach me how to navigate and accept these feelings Lord, you gave them to me for a reason.

Why is the phrase I'm going to **** myself used so leniently?

Is it not a statement that carries weight? or is it just a jovial way to deal with feelings and move on from it?

Why can’t we be thankful for the life we have, the breath we breathe?

Let us PAUSE for a moment.







The breath that you have today is the same breath that someone’s soul is craving for.

The day that you are living in is the same day someone else was not permitted to see.

The experiences that you have experienced today are the same experiences somebody wished to see one last time before the plug was pulled.



Please, be grateful for your life and what it entails because everything that has breath must praise the Lord.  

It is our praise to him that makes us more aware of our lives.