Late at night I would watch and watch.
A smile was usually plain to see across my face.
Not every joke would land, nor every video a hit.
But no matter what I would always watch.
Today I leaned of your horrible ways.
All of the terrible things you had done, day after day.
I know it hurt those who knew you best, but it also hurt me deep in my chest.
I lost a hero, though we never met.
Gone are the late nights, gone are those pleasant thoughts.
But I still will live with joy and smiles, but for now I will walk on.
Away from your videos, now turned vile

Driving down some endless road, one littered with memories and bones.
Glancing out the driver's window lends the perfect view.
Shards of glass grace this highway's eyes, as the rubble garners it's long tortured life.
But amongst the garbage, trash, and filth lies a poem lost at sea.
A lonely hubcap lay on one side of the road, blink an eye and it'd be gone.
How many miles had it traveled, along with it's trusted wheel?
How many adventures had it turned, before the earth shook it free?
Now it lives alone, no wheel to call it's home.
The endless highway continues as the sun begins to set.
The hubcap night grows ever near, a bitter loneliness every driver fears.
Until that time they must drive on, always circling their trusted friends whom they rely on.

If only my innocence, had lasted forever.
If only my worries, were as light as a feather.
The world had other thoughts, and it chose to beat me down.
I lost my great grandpa when I was just ten,
I tried to grieve, but how could I then.
The next year I lost a grandfather, his name was Bruce.
For all his rough edges he sure was a great man, so losing him confused eleven year old me.
Six months later I lost my great grandma.
She had been old and weak, but her heart had still kicked those fiesty beats.
With so much loss my mind began to spin, why did those I love disappear in the wind?
I grew older in age, but my heart always ached.
For those I had lost, it felt just like yesterday.
Sadness led to fear, longing for pain.
Then sadness led to longing for someone to explain.
I loved and lost women and friends, until finally I just begged the world to let it all end.
I sat in the hospital, staring out the window from my hospital bed.
Alone at last, but surrounded by those like me.
The heartbroken, the lost, the one's living through insanity.
But something strange happened that day, something deeply profound.
From that day forward I looked up from the ground.
I smiled more often, and took stock of my life.
No longer did I worry over any perceived misery or strife.
Falling down for so many years had taught me one thing; getting up is your choice, no matter what the world thinks.

Just a cloud, floating in the sky

Born at 1 am on a Saturday.

As a child I loved to play, running through the fields all day.

My mother taught me all I know, she raised my sister's and I all at our home.

Before I turned 18 my heart had found love with a wonderful girl.

Before I was 20 she was gone from my world, so my heart ached and cried to find another to love.

I found someone who lived quite far away, but my heart wanted it to be that way.

She broke my heart yet convinced me to run, so across the country I moved for her.

Soon after moving she found a man, so quick had she left me that it broke my last stand.

Lost and crying, I almost left my life.

But that was the day I finally started living right.

Life was actually worth living, when I lived it for me.

I started going to college again, and met some friends who now feel like family.

One day as I walked to class, my head began to ache and spin.

My family rushed me to the emergency room to learn of my potential fate. 

Cancer was what I had, one of the worst in the brain.

But I was 23 and still alive!

So I fought it and won, at least for awhile.

Because life, I believe, is worth living.

I did not expect to lose you.
It seems this ending was inevitable, perhaps even predictable.
But those quandaries aside, losing you tears me up inside.
We live under the same roof, yet are you still here?
You say "hello" when I walk in the room, but are you my friend?
I loved you like a brother, and told you so.
Somehow in doing so I angered you.
Suddenly I was wrong and in denial.
"There is no way you love me that way." He said.
He smirked and walked away into the next day.
A lonely text flashed across my screen.
"I think it's best if you and I were rarely seen."
Tears welled up in my eyes.
Losing my friend, roommate, and brother all in one night.

Cleaning the apartment for the first time in forever.
Sorting through a pile of clothes I never wear.
There was a sock that is not mine, buried down below.
I bite my lip, holding in the urge to cry.
How can a sock affect me so?
It may seem stupid, but it reminded me of her.
Sitting on the sofa, her feet dangling off the side.
I would lean against the wall and watch, as she lay there so peacefully.
With her furrowed brow and pensive eyes, she stared at the screen.
She smiled, blushing as she saw me there.
We both laughed as I crawled into her arms.
Her legs wrapped around me, and I looked into her eyes.
It may seem strange that a sock has such power over me.
But I suppose it is not the sock, but its owner, that tortures me.