Falling in love
resembles a concoction
of emotions

Isn't it very easy
to let yourself fall?

What makes it hard
is knowing that
someone
extends their arm
to catch you

I fell hard

It was a fast drop
that I haven't even
given myself
a chance to get ready

I fell and shattered
into smaller fragments

I was destroyed
but I am the one
who said sorry

My apology
must have been
a good remedy
to glue myself
back together

You didn't choose me.

I could fill the spaces between your fingers.
I could be the one
you can talk to on the phone--
from dusk to dawn.
My shoulders are ready for you to cry on.

I could have given you everything.
I could have given you the love you deserve

Maybe I wasn't the one for you.
That even if I muster the feelings
you wouldn't have the same for me.

I thought to myself,
"I am undeserving."
I hate the feeling that I am just an option
you have not selected.

It hurts
how you think
I'm not the one for you.

For my eyes, you were the only one.
You would never have to question my loyalty
You didn’t even give me a chance.

I guess you never will know.
You missed out.
But thank you for not choosing me.

I realized,
it's not you
I deserve.
I've learned
the one
that needs love
the most


isn't you,
but myself.

I like how the wind bristles against your fur
I know it whenever you purr
Your tiny paws are adorable
You're cute even if you get in trouble

I'm excited to go home that night
I expected you'll be there,
waiting for me at the door

You're not the type who smiles
You're not the type that greets "hello, hooman"
But I love you so much

I fill your bowl with treats
hoping you would come back
I leave the door latch open
just in case you go back

My room
is now silent and dark
Nightly, I wept
I can't help but sob,
knowing you're gone

I miss you
Come home

My arms
are created
to support you,
not to push you away.

These hands
are meant to hold yours;
not to slap your face
nor break your heart.

My fingers
are made
to fill the gap
between your fingers;
not for touching
the parts you don't like.

The room is filled with fumes

My lips can't kiss yours
but it smooch
the cig's ****
as I huff and puff;
I can almost finish
this pack.

Let me go back
to feeling
the heat of your body.
Do not let me
get burned
by the flames
of my cigarette.

Our steamy nights
turned to
smoking time alone.

I don't use
my mouth on you
anymore.
I blow
circles of smoke
instead.

We can pretend we didn’t smile at each other
Pretend that you didn't stare at me
and I will pretend that my cheeks didn't blush.

Will it be hard to try?

We can pretend we didn’t almost happen
That our encounter is just a big lie
We can pretend that our friends
didn’t try to set us up
Let's pretend that we didn't like it
and I am not your type.

Will you go home and cry?

We can pretend the kisses were unpassionate
Pretend that we didn't cuddle
and my bed was empty the morning after

Will you hug your pillow tight?

We can pretend you didn't reach for my hand
I will pretend that I did not let you
entwine your fingers with mine
We can pretend we feel empty
That a spark did not even felt

We can pretend it's all in our heads
Let's just pretend we never met

Say it's going to be okay
Pretending to feel better

Am I mute?
I am lost for words
without the ability
to utter why.

I am feeling empty.

Am I deaf?
I am struggling
to find my inner peace,
that my ears hurt
from the silence.

Am I blind?
My eyes are wet
from crying.
My emotions are the reason
why I am drowning.

Am I crippled?
I tried to raise my hand
but it trembles.

I desperately need some help

Am I dead?
My chest heaves
and my lungs burn.
I struggled to find
some air.

*It is hard for me
to breathe anymore.