It took me seven years
to realise
the words in my mind
were too deep for
my mouth to dig up
I thought it was easier
to open my skin
and let the truth
pour down my arms

It took me seven years
to realise
nobody should be allowed
to touch parts
of your home
or hold pieces  
of your heart
that you don't yet understand

It took me seven years
to realise
I will wear these scars
forever
I'll carry them
through every smile
every kiss
every concerned gaze
I'll carry them
to my grave

It took me seven years
to realise
the pain carved
into the walls
of my castle
etchings of
attempting to disappear
are not a story of weakness
but a tale of
how I survived

I'm lacking sensitivity,
there is no pain.
All of my emotions
have been drained.

Happiness lost.
Anger? No more.
But my heart is broken,
sprawled out on the floor.

You came so quickly
and left too soon.
Poor little angel,
you didn't have time to bloom.

But "Thy will be done",
yes that's true,
but it hurts that I
never got to know you.

AJ or Natalia
I'll remember you for years,
and I will cry for you
with silent tears.