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a romance on the beach.
the sea breeze hitting my face.
your kisses tasting salty.
sand massaging my toes
as your arms touch my waist.
your smile brighter than the
orange-ish red sunset
with a tinge of tangerine
& a few other colours i
can’t quite make out.
my hair in my face, your soft & gentle but manly hands pushing it out of my face.
that smile again.
your eyes closed, taking a deep breath
as if you’re trying to smell the essence of my soul.
that slight lean as you push forward.
my giggle as your soft lips touch mine.
our lips moving in unison, rhythmic like two lovers making love.
my ***** thoughts.
your smile again.
my smile as you whisper “you’re mine.”
a romance on the beach.
a girl can only dream…

— @beeyroyce.
some people can’t handle hard liquor because “it’s too strong.”
you’re the human version of ***, *****, whiskey…
don’t water yourself down.
find someone that can handle you at 100% proof.

— @beeyroyce.
i fill myself up with liquor
only to find that i'm still empty.
people fill me up with expectations & every time they fail
they pour a portion of my soul out into the gutter
& i'm still empty.
lovers pursue me with sweet words & fill me up with dreams of a perfect romance & when it ends my heart breaks, spilling out the few drops left of my soul,
making me emptier than before.
i nourish friendships using the substance from my soul
only to watch them dwindle & die leaving my soul substance-less
& i'm still empty.
i write this poem with the hope that maybe, just maybe it can make me feel whole again but
i'm still empty.

— @beeyroyce.
sitting in their room:
somebody's looking at a bunch of pills.
staring at a stack of razors.
holding a thick belt in their hand.
or just thinking, contemplating to end it all.
but then suddenly, they think of you.
your smile.
the dimple on your cheek that appears when you smile.
oh god, that beautiful smile.
your touch.
the feeling they get when your soft yet strong hands caress ex their body.
feeling like they're floating, reliving that moment.
your voice.
that sweet voice that asks, "how are you today?" & says "i love you" & "i'm sorry" when they wrong you.
that sweet, sweet voice.
sweet enough to calm monster within.
your hair.
the way it feels. how it curls up when it's wet after you take a swim.
how you hate it when they touch your hair.
your love.
the way you're willing to understand them.
even though you don't, you are willing.
someone, somewhere, could throw those pills away,
throw those razors away,
choose to adorn that thick belt on their waist instead of on their neck,
& choose to hold on.
all because they thought of you.

— @beeyroyce.
my ex inspired this. i wrote this when i was in a very bad space. with hindsight, he didn't really understand my depression. he was there physically, not so much emotionally. s/o to him for adding to my inspiration for writing though.
you hope that being around other people will help you fill the hole in your heart but it only leaves you emptier than before. with the last substance that your soul is comprised of dripping onto the floor as you try to salvage what's left of it. you're alone, my dear. & it couldn't be more evident than when you're with other people. when you try to fill the hole with other people's presence.

— @beeyroyce.

— The End —