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Laia Blackthorn Oct 2023
How many hands will I hold?
How many will I have to let go?
Laia Blackthorn Oct 2022
For so long you wish you could have said
something
But you know how it starts,
you know how it goes,
Eventually, they call it


                            "chasing ghosts"
#abuse #ghosts #pain
Laia Blackthorn Feb 2022
Somewhere along the line, you changed.
You build walls all around you
and wore armor against the world,
You guarded your heart so well you could behave as though you didn't have one at all,
Even now, it's a shabby broken thing
but you still have it.
Not a heart of stone nor of ice,
But a fragile heart of glass
Sharpened through all its edges to stop anyone from getting in,
To stop the pain from getting out,

I understand why you wear armor,
That's why I wear it too.
Laia Blackthorn Feb 2022
He's gone but he's everywhere.
In the passenger seat, in my bedroom walls, in the music sheet strewn over the floor and in the songs he wrote; he's in my favorite books and in the ****** films over the DVD player; He's in our whispered secrets and Post-It notes, that from now on will be only mine to own. He's in my sunny days and stormy nights, in 3 am phone calls and throaty laughs. He's in pointless conversations I couldn't seem to ignore and now in the silence that fills my house every time I come home.
He's in my dreams and in the way I used to smile.
But most of all, he's in my heart, and I can't say goodbye.
Laia Blackthorn Feb 2022
If I'm too broken to fix,
Pull the trigger
And give me peace.
Laia Blackthorn Apr 2023
Wandering down this empty road
I pray the silence drowns the noise

Got a lighter and a phone
Still noone's answering my **** calls

My heart screams to just let it burn
And everything starts to blur

All the lights go out on me
As I near the end of the street

No angels left to watch over me
And now I smell like gasoline

So off I go,
This is my goodbye, this is my farewell
To the world
Laia Blackthorn Apr 2023
Hey you,

We’ve been fading in the dark
Chasing nightmares through the night
Our hearts are slowly giving up
But the race stops when we crash

Living fast but burning out
No chance we end this way
Let’s make memories we regret
One last hurrah for the game

Bleeding on the ground
Can you hear the sirens sound?
Turn to fire to ash to naught
Time was always running out

So the finish line is here
Close your eyes and disappear
We bite the dust and say:
"Hey you, goodbye and sorry it had to end this way"
I blame my parents for being afraid
for teaching me every sharp edge of the world
and learning I might never be safe

I blame my parents for being lonely
for missing people I never had
and I know will never hold me

I blame my parents for the sleepless nights
for wondering if I will ever get it right
or one day wish I could go back in time

I blame my parents
because they are my parents
and I can blame them
for who I turned out to be

But when they are gone
and all I have are memories
I’ll just blame them
for leaving me.
Laia Blackthorn Apr 2023
I lost you on a Friday
I burried you on a Saturday
I cried myself to sleep on Sunday
And faced the world on Monday

Tuesday had me numb
On Wensday I could barely stand by
Did you see me, that Thursday night?
Know I tried, but on a Friday I died
Laia Blackthorn Oct 2022
We are going off the road
And we need to get out now
This car is gonna crash
And we might not survive

Lock the “I'm sorry's”
Deep in your soul
And let the song ring out
its last note

Hold back your tears
Don’t make a sound
Were hanging of a cliff
We need to say our goodbyes now

Forget all my laughs
And heartwarming smiles
Let me be another
You leave behind

Its time to drop our hands
And keep going on our own
This ride has come to an end
One more verse and it’s done

Turn the engine off
And close the door
Step by step we leave this place
And never come back here again
Laia Blackthorn Apr 2023
I know he left,
I know he's gone
But I'm one of those
Who can't let go

I glue myself around someone's edges,
I make that space my own
That way I'm never left behind
when they go

But people change,
Sometimes break
And foolishly I refuse
To get out of the way

So then, I fall apart,
Crash and hit the ground
Because glue isn't enough
To hold me in their hearts

Bits and pieces of me
Don't fit together anymore
They are no longer mine,
No longer whole

Turns out,
I'm one of those
Who die when they
                                   love.
Laia Blackthorn Jul 2020
From heaven falls
Burning down the world
With nothing but shadows
Rises at dawn
Laia Blackthorn Apr 2023
There's a nameless grave
In St. Nicholas Street
Where no one really knows
What's burried beneath

This lonley site by the sea
Treasures broken memories
Has seen time go by and people leave,
Hearts broken and tears spilled

Tragic, isn't it?
No one mourns this haunted site
The world forgot,
and left it behind

No words on a headstone
No immortal goodbye
No one even brings flowers
To apologise

There's a lonley grave
In St. Nicholas Street
Will you come by,
And keep me company?
Laia Blackthorn May 2021
Once upon a time there was lovely rose
Dancing with the wind in the light of dawn
Standing tall in her long sharp roots,
Dearing anyone to break through.

The fool tried and got hurt
The strong tried and broke in two
The brave tried and never dared again.

And when the honest one came
Little was left of the rose she once had been,
The wind had forgotten her name
And from all the petals only thorns remained.

With teary eyes he accepted
there was nothing left to save
And with a broken heart he learned
the lesson of this tale;
Love speaks in flowers, truth requires thorns.

He lighted a match and let her burn.
Laia Blackthorn Aug 2023
The day you left
You took something from me
Softly, quietly,
Pretending you weren't a thief

You ran out
In the middle of the night
And I know I deserved
A better goodbye

You were a liar
But so was I
When I said “I love you”
Thank god I lied

You couldn’t steal my heart
‘Cause you didn’t know
Where it was

So instead you stole my pride
So I could’t be the first
To leave you behind
Laia Blackthorn Apr 2023
When the lights go out
But the show won't start

When the room gets colder
Standing one feet apart

You saw the warning sings
Racing down the road

You know now,
It's time to go
Laia Blackthorn Apr 2022
Someone's story just ended in
page fifty-three
The pen fell and no one can pick it up to
start again
The last goodbye is an unfinished line in
chapter eight
Phantom words will be this story's only
friend
"Hello" is now forgotten where the ink bleeds
"the end"
Nobody knows when their acknowledgements go next…
Laia Blackthorn Apr 2023
He's gone,
He left
But I'm here
So what's next?
I hope I remember your words
When time has passed
I hope they don't go away
Even if you did
I hope I can make them stay
Even if you didn't
Laia Blackthorn Jul 2023
I still think about people
Who burried me a long time ago
Laia Blackthorn Jul 2023
Isn’t it funny?
How he can play the part
Seconds before
He tears you apart?
Laia Blackthorn Jul 2023
I hope when I leave
Your house stinks of memories.
Laia Blackthorn Apr 2023
I still remember everything
And how it all fell apart
I still remember everything
And how I want it all back
Laia Blackthorn Oct 2022
I am woman and I handle pain,
I've done it a thousand times over
I never complain

Feel the power you tried to take
You called it meaningless
I call it courage every day

Mine is no forgettable name
So look into my eyes
And feel all my rage

Remember the day
Woman I became
#woman #feminist #pain #strong #brave #loud #rage #names #true #faith #unforgettable
Laia Blackthorn Apr 2023
On an empty room
With a flickering light
I saw your ghost
For the first time

He looked like you
And it broke my heart
To see you so close
Yet so far apart

I wanted the screen to fade to black
I wanted the ink to run out
But he didn’t disappear
and I couldn’t lose you twice

Our dreams didn’t leave
Just because you did
I now bore them alone
knifed deep in my bones

The world kept moving
Even if mine had stopped
When all is said and done
Grief is the price we pay for love

So I went forward
fought to stay strong
Even on those days, months
When it felt like I had lost

It was time to let you go
knew one day we’d meet at heaven’s door
The lonely, untravelled road
Didn’t seem so scary anymore

On a crowded home
With bright lights
I saw your ghost
For the last time.
#love #grief #loss #mourn #time #home #ghost #go #lonley #loss

— The End —