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Beanie Feb 2021
I wish I knew how to whistle,
And I wish I knew how to
Play the guitar, or maybe piano.
I wish I knew how to sing
On pitch, or at least follow a tune.
I wish I knew how to be a good friend,
So maybe I would stop losing people,
And I wish I was a better person
Because right now it feels like
All I do is ***** things up.
I wish I knew how to fix this, and I wish
That you know I’m sorry.
SquidInk Dec 2020
i find myself looking at his picture too often
the angry face i put on begins to soften
i tear rolls down my face and i sigh
i know i shouldn't have said goodbye
HeyitsAngel Dec 2020
We had agreed to be friends
I felt like I couldn't
It hurt too much and I felt I wasn't healing
We both broke down when I said I needed time
When I told you I couldn't handle a friendship
Because I didn't want us feeling something for each other
Its been a few weeks of us not talking
I notice so many things we haven't been able to talk about
That we bonded over
I thought us having our own space
Would help us heal
Without you its been hard
I miss my best friend
That's all we were
Two hockey-loving best friends
I miss talking to you about football
But it's okay
I hope you are okay
Just know I thought this was for the best
Without you
Without you, I haven't been the same crazy sports fan
SquidInk Dec 2020
everyone envisions their hope for their future
whether they want to lose weight
or whether they want to fall out of habits
some people envision having a family
having kids and a dog
marrying that one boy that makes them so happy
is it bad that in my future i envision nothing for myself
perhaps in the future i will be gone..
Delyla Nunez Nov 2020
February 25.
I’ll never forget that day.
It’s the day you came into my life after all.

When you sent your first Snapchat too me,
I swear your smile is what kept me intrigued.
The way you’d laugh at my silliness and stupid remarks.
Constantly sending me something just so you could see me smile.

I love the way you look at me.
The way your dark eyes held me captive to every word you’d say.  
The love and affection in them always left me speechless.
Your eyes told me everything,
From what hurt you the most to loving me.

It was the way you played video games.
How you were so concentrated.
The way your face would scrunch up when you were in a battle to not die.
That night you stayed at my moms with me,
You whined waiting for your turn.  

The first time you told me you loved me,
I laughed.
I couldn’t even think it to be true.
Yet here you were.
My knight in shinning armor, the one to sweep me off my feet.  

Those nights we stayed together always brought tranquility with it.
The countless jokes we had, the days with Harley, and the many bonfires.
Looking up at the stars where you lived was out of this world, literally.
Laying on your chest with your arms wrapped tight around me.
Keeping me safe.

It was the way you’d sing to me and hold my hand.
When you’d write about me and things made sense.
Laughing at my clumsiness and telling me “You’re a dork babe!”
Making sure I knew that you loved me something fierce.
Reassuring me to the best of your abilities.

To think you made a 180 in my life,
And I hoped you’d be my second chance.
Also hoping I didn’t **** it up first.

Eventually I did.
I hurt you the most and I couldn’t begin to think of asking anything of you. Especially to bring you back into my life...
SquidInk Nov 2020
you broke it
you broke your promise just like you broke my trust
im tired of trying and hoping that you will change
you broke it
i find it funny that you think im the one being selfish
i continue to trust you
as you take more and more advantage of that
it hurts that im losing you to something like this
i put my faith and trust into you
i feel like you wasted my time
you wasted my energy
because i used it to try and help you change
there's obviously no change
you told me again just today that you've changed
but as time passes i find out more and more how you haven't
in fact, you've gotten worse
i hate getting yelled at for confronting you
i hate that you confide in my sister for advice
i hate that you make the choices that you do
i hate that you hurt me more and more every day
i hate that you think that its okay
i hate that i haven't given up yet
i hate that i push people i love away to be with you
i hate what you're turning me into
i hate the names that you call me
you say that you were just joking, but it actually hurts
i hate the new things you have tell me every day
because 9 out of 10 times they're bad
i hate that i hate so much about you
i hate that i feel anything but love and enjoyment towards you
i used to worship you
i used to think that nobody was more perfect for me
you wonder why i haven't worked to get ungrounded
its because being grounded gives me an excuse
an excuse to say no to parties and bad ideas that you have
its so much easier to say that im grounded rather than i don't want to
im sorry that i feel this way
im sorry that i tried to fix what was going on with you
i should've recognized that it was "none of my business"
so here's to me being sorry for caring<3
all i have to say
SquidInk Nov 2020
here i sit
watching
watching you make new friends
whether or not they're good for you
i sit here watching you make one bad decision after another
but i don't say much in fear of upsetting you
in fear of drifting farther away from you
in fear of you going off and informing people of my worrying
here i sit
watching you tell people things that weren't yours to tell
watching you drift farther away from your innocence
farther away from your true relationships
farther away from me
here i sit
while you yell at me
while you tell me to not worry
while you tell me you "love me"
while you tell me that you will be okay
while you cry to me
while you vent to me
while you tell me you don't care
while you laugh at me for caring
while you tell me you hate him
but then tell me you miss him
while you tell me that i need to care once i say im done caring
here i sit
crying
crying because of how much pain this is causing me
crying because i can't do anything
crying because you are fine with this
crying because you are fine with them
crying because im tired of feeling this way
crying because what happened to always?
what happened to
ill never leave you
ill always love you
i would never do that
just one more
trust me
i would never lie to you
im sorry
i should've listened to you
you're my only true best friend
you're my person
here i sit
exhausted from the mental pain
being forced into feeling numb because im tired of feeling
missing what we had
what we should've still had now
what you tell me we still have
...
but we both know that we don't
im tired of the pain
I'm sorry for what I am
I'm sorry for not being good enough
I try as hard as I can to change
There's some things that I wish would go away
There are parts of me that I wish would just die
I'm sorry for being resentful
I'm sorry for being full of Hate
I try to leave my past behind me, but every time I turn away, it's staring me in the face
I know I can be better
That I can be more
I can see a new me at the end of the tunnel, but my demons hold me in place
I'm sorry for pushing you away
I'm sorry for driving you insane
I may not have much to really live for, but what I have is surely more than enough
I'm sorry for all the wrong I do
Can you forgive me? I love you.
I'm sorry if someone made you feel like it was hard to love you

I'm sorry if you feel like being exactly who you are isn't good enough

I'm sorry if you look in the mirror and hate what you see because someone else said that you weren't beautiful

I'm sorry if you've ever questioned whether your life was worth living because some **** told you the world would be better off without you.

I'm sorry if youre reading this right now and relating to this.

I'm sorry if society's expectations of how a girl should look, what size they should be, and how they should ask, made you think that you were doing it all wrong.

I'm sorry your beautiful soul has ever had to question anything about who you are because the truth is, the world needs more people like YOU.

The truth is they're all wrong.

And I'm sorry for all the years you believed them and all of the tears you cried and nights you asked God why you weren't good enough.

You are.

You always were.

You were never hard to love, you were just loving the wrong people.

I'm sorry they wasted your time.

But its about time you stop hating yourself for not being everyone else's idea of yourself, and start being the version of yourself that you can live with and love.

-c.m.
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