I want to tell you
that I can do without you.
But I'd be lying.

if I’m too shy to tell you
my feelings,
you’ll know.
I’ll hide behind my thousands of masks
quietly laughing and telling you jokes
because I’m afraid
that if I tell you one small thing
my masks will fall off
and one thing will lead to everything.
I may be unexpressed but I have a lot of things
to think about.    
                    ~n.r.

five magical days
with no work
five magical days
of *** and laughter
five magical days
of art and creativity
five magical days
of books and spaghetti
five magical days
of mysterious adventures
five magical days
of old cartoons and movies
five magical days
of music
whether we went to
see it live or played
it together
five magical days
of drinking
whether it’s coffee
or whiskey
or coffee with whiskey
a Pabst blue ribbon
for breakfast if you will
five magical days
I no longer want or need
anymore

...it takes guts to let that go
and knowledge to know
it was never mine
to begin with

It scares me everyday that you’ll forget me
Just like it scares me everyday that you might be with her
I think that hurts my heart most of all
The thought of someone else touching my favorite part of you
In my dreams you’ll always be mine
Because you’re one hell of a war
And I’m not done fighting
I don’t think I’ll ever be
Trust me when I say that you changed my life
And I’ll love you forever
And then some
And I’ll love you past mountains
and then some
And I’ll love you through years
And then some
(v.m)

i like my body when it is with your
body. It is so quite new a thing.
Muscles better and nerves more.
i like your body.  i like what it does,
i like its hows.  i like to feel the spine
of your body and its bones,and the trembling
-firm-smooth ness and which i will
again and again and again
kiss, i like kissing this and that of you,
i like, slowly stroking the,shocking fuzz
of your electric furr,and what-is-it comes
over parting flesh….And eyes big love-crumbs,

and possibly i like the thrill

of under me you so quite new

Inside this
depth of the perpetual,
I hold onto the light,
learning that
it is not an illusion
but a constant
            fire within
hard as metal
simultaneously lava soft
no longer boneless,
lumped jelly
              in a flaccid bowl
Instead I am bowled over
with new power,
plugged into
my own electric universe
in rushes of ******* voltage
that was always waiting for me
to see it
to allow it inside
the tissues of my body
to flow up and through
intestines, muscle, heart and bone
threads from
                 a glowing orb
that slake
and snake through me
like a river's glory
leaving the spirit on edge for more
and I am ever grateful
to take that light
                  spin it into a gift
                       unwrap it slowly
                            drape it
                              over me like
                                 a flowing,
unstitched garment        
pour its liquid-tipped velvet
onto my follicles, sensitive
tender luminosity
touching all the right places
its silvery essence
flooding me in
drips and slips
healing all the lost
and lonely places,
desolation's imprint
hollows of brimmed-over    
                        despair
I have become
a quivering, stellar bud
bursting forth, each day
                       burning into new
rebirth in quenching torrents
ripe as ovarian silk
soaked in
cellular juice
inner seeds ready to be flung
unto the earth
into the wilderness
into expansion
ready to
bloom
          and bloom
          and bloom
   again

Salt life

The taste of spirit on my tongue

Salt life

The sound of my heart after it drums

Salt life

The opening healing to my childhood wombs

Salt life