In your arms I feel safe
In your arms I feel no pain, no suffer
In your arms I feel warm
In your arms I feel no insecurities
In your arms I feel loved
In your arms I feel no fear
In your arms I feel that everything’s is okay
When I am in your arms I feel that you are like a magic pill because you can vanish all the pain, all the suffer, all my fears, all my demons, all my insecurities.
You are magical.

somebody pray for me before it’s too late for me
these demons still chasing me
but angels, they stay with me
they wait for me faithfully
when I fall into the dark, they awaken me
they view ****** as beauty mistakenly

At 05:26am, you sent me drunk texts.
You said that you still loving me, you miss me like a crazy and you need me, you told me all that things that you used to tell me.

Then, we started to talk.
It was beautiful, like before.
You said that the next day, you’ll come to my home to talk about us and try to fix things and be what we were.

We did it.
Yesterday, you came to my home.
We talked about us.
You said that you want to fix things with me, you said that you want me back, you said that you want us back. Me too.

And now, we are trying to be what we were.
We are back together.

I got everything that I had before.
You. Specially, you.
My life is perfect, complete.
I have my other two best friends.
I got you back.
My family is doing good.
Everything is as before. Everything is perfect again.
We are back, together again.

I remember that when I was a little girl, specifically 7 years old, my thoughts were “I am never going to grow up” “Time passes so slow to be older/teenager/adult” “I’m kinda going to be a kid forever” but i knew that “forever” doesn’t exists.
Now, I am 17 years old, next year I’m going to go to the university, I’m going to study the career that really passionate me, psychology.
Right now, my thoughts are “I grew up, I made it” “Luckily, I am not a kid forever” “Time passes pretty fast”.
And I can’t describe the happiness that I have inside of my small body.

I remember that I have deleted all of our memories.
Now, the one that I want it back is that picture, of you and me, just to remember how happily we were with each other and I’m afraid of talk to you just to say “hey do you still have that picture? we were at school, you were kissing my head and you posted it for my birthday”
If you read this, if you have the picture, can you send it to me?

I think that I’m doing all wrong.
I feel that I’m losing people who I love.
I hate that feeling.
Sometimes I feel lost and I want to put a gun in my head or inside my mouth.
What will happen if I lose that people?
What will happen with me?
What will happen with my heart?
And with my feelings?
My heart, what will happen with it? Is it going to be broke? Lost?

I used to have an issue with my body.
Three years ago. 2015. The year of horrors.
My weight was 60 kilograms and I don’t remember if I had a few grams more, but it doesn’t a matter. The issues is that I was a bit fat. I have never been fat. I was sad about it and I had a lot of problems more in that year.
My principal problem was that when all of my girlfriends developed their body, I had a little girl body. My body begins to develop and that was when I turned fat, I didn’t like myself, personal problems, more issues. I increased 15 kilograms. I was really depressed. I started hating me more.
Between 2016 and 2017, my body started changing. I lost weight, I hadn’t got issues with me anymore. That was really amazing.
End of 2017 and this year (2018), my body changed completely. I don’t have the body that I used to own in 2015. I am thin and happy, but sometimes when I look at myself in the mirror, unconsciously I see myself as I was in 2015, fat.
That kills me.
Kills me more knowing that I couldn’t talk with my mother about it, because she didn’t understand it. But I could talk with my best friend and with my auntie because they understand it. I’m thankful about it.
What more kills me is the fact that I know that my body it’s thin but my mind shows me another thing, which I hate and makes me sad.
But today, July 25, 2018. My weight is 48 kilograms. I see the real me. I see myself thin. Now my unconscious accepts that I’m thin again. I’m really happy now because that is the body that I had all my entire life, that is the body that I want and which I’m in love with. I’m glad that I got back what I always wanted.