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Feb 2019 · 170
Numbing
Alejandro Feb 2019
Clouded by thoughts
Repressed them inside.
Never showing it,
With a Nonchalant face
Showing a nonchalant life.

The back of my mind,
A dark dangerous place.
Before I walk back there,
Numb yourself,
To numb my life.

I cloud my thoughts
Before I go inside.
Drinking to show,
Never to live.
Make them see,
My nonchalant face,
So they see,
My nonchalant life.
Mar 2018 · 288
Doesn’t exist
Alejandro Mar 2018
If you’ve ever seen me
Felt or heard from me,
There has been nothing
Impossible as it goes by
As it clears up and you see
The feeling has almost ceased.

If I ever saw you
Felt or heard,
There was something
Almost impossible as it stroke me
Somebody who I could see
And felt that pleasuring feeling.

People don’t belong to people
Bonding as if they belong together
The moments that seem to last forever
Unforgettable as a habit
Unchanging as time goes by
The images I create
The feelings that I made

Who has never been seen
Never been heard from.
Almost like they never exists
When existence is all we have
Was it real?
What was real?
Am I crazy?
Or just a lonely nobody.
Somebody who never existed.

From someone who exists
To someone who may had existed
Or to you who doesn’t know they exist
The beyond is Infinite as death is inevitable,
Time goes by as it goes.
Forevermore,
As nevermore.
Never forget,
You exist.
Nov 2017 · 206
Silently
Alejandro Nov 2017
Why the heart wants the unobtainable.
I long for that meaning.
It gains nothing.
It tears the insides.
It hurts.
Only in silence I cry
Gaining nothing,
Only hurting.
It seems like eons have passed,
Times by the times again,
I end lying here.
Silently in pain,
Masking the days.
I lose hope.
It only hurts,
Nothing gained.
Only in silence,
Only to pain.
Sep 2017 · 228
It's no wonder
Alejandro Sep 2017
To picture my life differently...
To dream that better life,
I can't cope with this.
Forcing that change,
I destroy my future.

Happy days,
Happy dreams.
I'm stuck in my head
But when I drink those drinks...
I am free

It's no wonder why I'm alone.
How can others love me,
When one hates themselves?
Still in the past,
Nothing has changed.

I dream of a home,
Only to dream.
I drink to be free,
Only it burns.
It's no wonder why I'm alone.
Aug 2017 · 285
Forever
Alejandro Aug 2017
Alone again,
I saw the horizon,
It was close...
I could feel it.
Again,
It was hope,
just a dream.

Happiness filled my soul,
I could almost be in.
I could feel the world again.
I was almost there
Only to wake up.

Staring at the pictures,
Watching the videos again.
I always doubted
I would've came back,
To this deep cavern.
I was wrong.
Hoping...
It won't hurt as bad this time.

I had hope,
I stopped dreaming,
I hate it.
Never again,
Forever again.

I was closed...
But I opened myself up...
only for a moment.
It was a mistake.
I after seeing the moments again,
I hate it.

Wish I could press rewind.
Tell myself, close that door.
Loose that hope,
Loose the feeling.
Forever again,
Alone.
Aug 2017 · 205
Good Morning
Alejandro Aug 2017
Hello brother...
I hope you are happy
up in the clouds...
high above the sadness...

I am still here...
holding on...
hoping for the open future...
I am trying....
to hold on.

I try....
as doubtfulness falls down my eyes...
It doesnt matter how far our story goes...
it just matters how its told...
Aug 2017 · 186
Ageless
Alejandro Aug 2017
Actions from years ago,
Actions to the beyond.
All maybe different,
But all for the same reason.

The lights of the Sun,
The shadow of the Moon,
All different ways,
All are the same.

The ugliness of the world.
The beauty of people.
Judgement rises,
As love falls.

Lonliness is the shadow.
Friendship is my light.
Tears that fell.
Laughters that rose.

The meaning, it is different.
But it is for the same reason.
A dreamer dreams.
A life lives.

A life lives...
A dreamer, that dreams...
Love drives me.
But loneliness rules.

The smallest sparks,
Engulf my life.
Slow down I must.
I live for it though.

I dream of that day.
I live for that moment.
Those moments.
To close my eyes,
Being loved.

One day,
One night.
I can see her,
I can hear her.
Only a dream,
In my dreams...

Different days,
Same routine.
I see it,
I feel it.

One day...
Someday...
Aug 2017 · 387
Stuck
Alejandro Aug 2017
I sit in this empty room.
My music, the only voice to be heard.
I hear the memories,
The moments.
As I drink it down,
The memories feel so near...
But they are gone forever.
The moments I remember,
Gone forever.

Time goes by, as I sit here.
Only to remember
Over and over again.
The smell is so sweet,
The dreams
I only weap.
Only remembering,
Forever gone.

The beauty,
I can still see.
Stuck,
Trapped in my mind.
Never to be spoken,
But only to be seen.
The angels they look.
They cry,
Seeing what could be.

I drink this drink,
Only to remember,
Only to feel again.
The purpose not to destroy,
But to live again.

I sit here,
In this dark lonely room.
Only to dream,
Never to live.
Only to feel,
The life of life,
What could have been.
May 2017 · 196
Door
Alejandro May 2017
The person I needed
When I was in my most Vulnerable.
Having those thoughts,
Wanting that door open.
No one knew.
I was alone.
Stuck with my mind,
I fought the keep it inside,
Not to show my weakness
The weakness of crying for help.
I tried to be tough,
Act like everything was good.
Detaching myself,
From myself.
To make it easier I guess
To forget who I was,
Where I was,
and Why I was.
I wanted to be,
Nothing.

In the past,
Almost opening that door,
No one knew,
I was going to open the door,
No one knew,
I wanted to open,
And be gone.
Thinking back,
Thinking at that moment,
The moment,
I heard he opened his door,
I didn't know why.
Then I thought,
If he could open it.
Maybe I could to.
Feb 2017 · 245
Purpose
Alejandro Feb 2017
I stare up into the dark abyss and wonder, why? why am I here? why am I self tortured. I am supposed to love myself, am I not? Then why am I here, wondering why, Why am I here? The wonder, so big/ Almost endless, I kinda want to cry. Not for any meaning, but I just really just don't know why. I do as i think feels right, what others tell me what is right. Don't mess up, don't be late, don't stop caring for others. But why? Why must I do? I may never find an answer to this question, even in my final moments. Just ignore it, carry on with my day.
Oct 2016 · 273
From her, I've past
Alejandro Oct 2016
It took a while
Those days and nights
Always wondering
Alway cared

I sweat and burned
Pushed with the pain
Lost my past
Finally gain

I used to dream
Only despaired
Sad and lonely
Full of care

Now It's passed
Without my care
Not a lot of dreaming
Only because I dare

My dreams became reality
It took a little more dare
With A little less care
So much gained
Much new to care

A kid i was
A man i am
Just a dream you were
A memory you are

Even if your eyes don't see
I don't care.
Its all gone
It has all passed.
Aug 2016 · 280
Fear
Alejandro Aug 2016
Do I fear
being unknown?
Did life intend
for this so appear
as if I was alone?

Its been seared
burnt straight
and burnt clear
the ashes cloud the world
they stay
making fear

Trying to make me tear
its burning
flakes of fear
It's dark.
Am I alone?

It began to clear
The fear, it was no longer near
I saw the scars of my burnt flesh
it appeared, I was always alone.

Was there fear?
No, but only a spark
of a forgotten dear.
For ages, it still lights.
Just wish it wasn't so bright.

It's not so bad,
To be unknown.
It's okay.
It's just you, me, and I.
Against this cold dark world.
Nothing to fear, its will disappear.
Jun 2016 · 377
Meaning
Alejandro Jun 2016
Thoughts
Sometimes reality
Giving reason
To think
Wonderfully

Chance
Sometimes happens
Get a meaning
To live
With reason

Actions
More than a dream
Holding on
With meaning
Believing

Hope, With passion
One day, With meaning
The dreams, I hold on to
Become reality, Full of reason
Together
Jun 2016 · 291
To be reminded
Alejandro Jun 2016
Hello my old friend.
Its been a while,
Since you've said hello.
I thought you were gone...
Removed from my reality.
But here you are,
Clawing into my skin.

I've held my head high,
Turned away from the hideous things
Burying the hate you bring out.
But it looks like you've got roots
They're deep. I cant escape.

I dont like to be reminded
I do not matter.
I've avoided that
Trying to see the whole the world
Before you set fire to it
Before you opened my eyes to the reality.

I wonder if anyone else sees,
Its hard to see the world's beauty again

Its not the world.
Its the people in it.

I dont like it.
To be  reminded,
There will always be
Despair, greed, selfishness, and sadness
In this cold dark world.

I dont like to be reminded...
I dont matter.
Not to anyone In particular,
But to this world
And all of her chaos

Not caused by her
But the people.
Mar 2016 · 258
Beauty
Alejandro Mar 2016
Im a poet
Without a rhythmic line
My words wont flow
But beauty has no instruction.
It has no regulation
There is no rule.
No dictation.
Mar 2016 · 325
Sad
Alejandro Mar 2016
Sad
I don't want to die
But sometimes
I just want to disappear...

Run away from all the unpleasantness
The anger that flames
Burning into my soul

The loneliness
That never changes
Even when surrounded

Somewhere else
Would be nice
Maybe the moon? Or even saturn

I want to be free
Free of the crimes
Free of the tears

I want
Not to die
But to disappear
And never come back
Feb 2016 · 264
Dreaming again
Alejandro Feb 2016
Just here thinking in my head
Wishful, dreamful, wonderous
outlining all that i have longed for
All that i have loved
That ive liked
That i've admired

Ill never have it.
Because
I only love her
Deep within my mind

It is locked
Featful, doubtful, longful

I amaze her
I make a smile
I hug and kiss her
Only, in my mind

I'll never have her
Like a bound bird
Imprisoned
Wanting to fly
Like a fish out if water
Gasping to breath

I am locked
Only...
Within my mind.
Jan 2016 · 416
Frame
Alejandro Jan 2016
Songs, they all scream.
Pictures, do they dream?
Words, are they...
What they seem?

It seems I am lost.
I can picture you in my dreams.
Too far, I wanna scream words like songs.
I just want to be free.

No words, they wont come out.
My actions,
They're not what they seem.
You're the person of my dreams.

Like a picture;
I am frozen, in frame.
Only to stare off,
Only to dream.
Dec 2015 · 373
A reminding light
Alejandro Dec 2015
From a hollowed abyss
Dark
Unseen by all
Piercing like a ******
Theres a light
She keeps striking me
With her sharp eye

All alone
In dark
In silence
She aims just right
No matter how far
She still hits right on spot

Even in my weakest moments
All it takes
Is a breath or two
And she knows
I feel her light pierce my heart
Taking away my shadows
Freeing me, for her moments

As dead as i maybe
That some might say ill be
Her light
Bring life
Like the laughter
A laugh from a baby.

Her light pierces me
But i am far
I am trapped
I sail to the shores
One day going back

Hopefully
Her light is still on
Roaring and piercing
For the stars
do not look the same
Up close
Nov 2015 · 258
Find
Alejandro Nov 2015
I wouldnt mind
Leaving this world
Flying by the most distant moons
To find you

Beyond the edges of space
Into the horizons
Theres no place id rather be
Than by your side
Oct 2015 · 248
Know
Alejandro Oct 2015
I forgot about her
After she forgot about me

They always did say,
Ladies first...
Oct 2015 · 279
Who I am
Alejandro Oct 2015
Would you know my name
If I ran into an empty crowd?

I'm made of all these different kind of atoms
But am I still, the most unseen, phantom?

I was here
I was feared

Your mind, seems to be cleared
You don't know me

Who am I to you?
Am I still new?

You don't seem to care
So I'll just go
And just get some air...
Oct 2015 · 318
Lotus flower
Alejandro Oct 2015
Sing away, lotus flower
The sounds you make
They're all so great
In the mornings
Throughout the nights
It doesn't matter
All I love to hear
Is you

Sing away, my lotus flower
I'd sit and stay
All the hours I could
I just want to hear your song
The songs you sing Short or long
It doesn't matter
There's nothing better
Than hearing your songs
Oct 2015 · 275
Go
Alejandro Oct 2015
Go
For the longest of time
I've wanted you
To be by my side
But for now, at least
I had you, clouding up my mind

It's time for me to go
Thousands of miles away
I'll just be stuck in the dark
Because I don't know
I just can't

Cause I don't know
Maybe one day it'll all change
Maybe all the miles won't matter
Maybe this ocean that separates us
Won't seem so big

I guess it's time for me to go
For all I know
I probably was never there
Sep 2015 · 313
Super
Alejandro Sep 2015
What is super?
Super is Saving others
Under your own pressure
Pressure we put on ourselves
Everyday we try to get
Rewarded

Not just an ordinary reward
But saving a life,

Saving a life
Undermining our own
Personal safety without
Ever fearing for ourselves
Rewarding us the courage.
Sep 2015 · 257
A world
Alejandro Sep 2015
So long I've longed for you
So short I've stood with you
With you was amazing
To have you
Would be to have a world
Times infinity pool

A world of endless glory
For so long
I've always wanted you
I always wanted to be in your hands
To be in Your heart
and to be on your mind

Once upon a time...
I had you.
I had you in my arms
I had you in my mind
You had me in your heart...

But I lost you
I lost you,
To The crowded
But empty world.
Jul 2015 · 283
Memories from a star
Alejandro Jul 2015
Will of a man, a new world
thriving on her light, no shadow is cast
once upon my memory
The ones seared onto my skin
I still feel her bright starlight shine upon me

She stands in an empty crowd
only out shining them all
no matter how hard I try
she blinds my world
shining from beyond

The memories of her blind my mind
I was born a stranger
no matter how hard I tried
I'll never be able to call her mine
The rivers that rise, never overflow

I am far in the lonely dark abyss
having lived from the memories of her
the world still feels her from nothing
no where to be seen, gone forever
it's amazing how powerful a memory is.
May 2015 · 414
The Moon
Alejandro May 2015
Standing along the Moonlight shine
She speaks so softly
So profound
And fine
Always looking Below
I sit and wonder

I Stand Alone
In my darkest side
No one understands
No one is under
Where I stand...

In her shades of light
even with all her fight
I can't help but stare
Along her moonlight shine
Even with her glares that freight
She too stands alone
Alone
In despair
Maybe You're the one
Who actually cared
Jan 2015 · 466
All Alone
Alejandro Jan 2015
Listen, do you hear that?
Harpocrates...
I fear the darkness,
Erebus...
Where'd ya go?
One.

Have this speaker
Hear me
Carry that flame...
I'll warm ya.
Where are ya?
It's too dark.

Speak clearly son
I can't hear.
Careful with that flame guy
You'll fry up.
What does it feel like?
Alone in the dark

Scream your pipes content son
I'm walking away
Shine that light with Helios
He'll burn you

As Echo longed for in vain
You'll fall,
bellow,
roaring
beyond pain.
Dec 2014 · 1.4k
Cycle
Alejandro Dec 2014
We sleep, only to wake up
We wake up, only to sleep
An endless cycle, until our eternal rest
Dreamers we have been
Dreamers we will be
Dreamers we are
Heaven is inside of us
We'll just dream that eternal dream
Eternally, forevermore.
Dec 2014 · 465
Beautiful life
Alejandro Dec 2014
Beauty as life
Not all go my way
But when you finally give a chance
It's more valuable than a world
I'll fill this bookshelf
And when I do
It'll be bigger than the library in France

It's a beautiful life
When you finally give a chance
All that you dream about
Think about
Laugh about
And all that you feel about
Finally comes
And gives a chance

What a beautiful life its been
Save people
Feed people
Make them feel
Human once again
The smallest gesture goes far
As the greatest acts flow like art

Its a beautiful world
Nothing goes our way
But the universe's way
I'll dream a dream again
I'll feel and maybe tear again
Its a beautiful life
Dec 2014 · 388
Light (Part 2)
Alejandro Dec 2014
As long as there are stars
As far as they are
Their lonesome light shines on ours
Wandering throughout the void
Whispering away
“I can only dream”

The sky aches for your touch
The breeze blows out
As the cold hits our skin
How lightless nights bring our brightest moments
The stars light our blind ways
Whispering away
“I shall only dream”

Your sapphire eyes strike mine
The emerald mind that likes to combine
That diamond heart waiting to shine in the light
Oh the stars ache for my time
Waiting for their light
Touch our dreams
As they whisper away
“Be it… just a dream?”
Nov 2014 · 823
Seed
Alejandro Nov 2014
My seed that will grow
I want you to know,
be better than I

To feel you outside the walls
I'll see you, once you decide to fall
Put a band aid on your little scar
I don't want to see you behind bars

Wisdom comes with age
You must fight, control your rage
Don't fall, but be brave

Somewhere in this endless cosmos
You're waiting outside a door
Sit patiently, do not roar

Whoever you are
Whoever you will be
You're perfect, even as you grow
I surely hope, You're better than I
Sep 2014 · 498
Bound
Alejandro Sep 2014
Somethings are noticeable
others not easily seen even by myself
sadness is eternal inside me
maybe this is who i am
The man I've grown into

What have I become?
A man who takes to heart
A teenager who let others control me
A child who never meant to do this.
And the worm who won the race
Maybe this is who I'll always be.

If I could start again
I wouldn't fail to please you
If I could start again
Maybe I wouldn't have became this man
The man who is different

I'm no king
I'm no President
Nor am I a cop
I have no power over you
Yet you controlled me to the fullest extent
Till you got bored.

In my life
I'll never loose my affection
I'll always love things
My sweet petunia flower
You'll grow old one day
Far away from me

Nothing is forever
Only change

From the blood I've shed
To the words spoken out
The blood gave life
To this soft spoken mouth
Only to be crushed by yours

I'm no king
One who has no heart to control
I'm no president
For one has no interest in limiting you
I'm no cop
I don't want to enforce my thoughts onto you

I've been bound since I can remember
From the beginning
To the last memory I've made
I can run for a long time
sooner or later i'll be cut down

I'm no drug addict
Nor an alcoholic
But I'll always be high off love
And intoxicated because of the pain
Love is part of me
As much as pain is to me

Maybe this is the kind of man I am
Maybe this is the kind of teenager I've always been
Maybe this is the kind of child I've always been
All I know is
There's no way to run away from it
I'll always be like this

Bound together
With it forever
There is no person like me
Non can compare
I believe in a brighter future
Just not a brighter present
Sep 2014 · 530
Un Giorno
Alejandro Sep 2014
One day you'll leave my heart
But until then
I'll always be that creep
Who admires you from afar
Whose heart beats for you

One day you'll finally leave my mind
But until then
I'll always remember the things about you
What makes you laugh
What made you cry
I'll always remember those special moments we had

When that day comes
The day my heart stops beating
They day my brain finally shutdown
And the day my soul finally ascends
I know I'll finally be happy

But until then...
I'll always be your loser creep
Admiring you from afar
Whose heart will always beat for yours
And always...
Till the day I die
Sep 2014 · 371
Light
Alejandro Sep 2014
Do I really know what the light is?
I have peered up into the stars
And saw them glowing ever so brightly
But have I felt the light to it's fullest?

I have seen people bathe in the light
Some literally living in the light
But do I really know what the light looks like?

An incomprehensible amount of people
They know the light inside and out
Yet I am so incompetent to understand
I have felt the light with my fingertips
And claim I know all about the light

I found a star
A star willing to give me a shine of her light
I felt her light shine upon myself
But than I got scared and ran
I ran from her light

Although I missed the light
The light I barley got to feel
I miss it because I burnt her out
Burnt her dry and gone

Do I know the light?
The light I had
But burnt out?
I've seen the light for ages
So I just turned my light dim

Dim - dim
I sat near the rim
Sitting there looking very grim
I looked back and took a skim
A skim down memory lane

I held her light
She did not want to fight
I wanted to hold her light longer
But it was to late
Because I had burnt her out

Do I really know the light?
I should have known
Known of my incompetent mind
I should have taken the time
The time I could have used and learnt
To learn all about the light
Sep 2014 · 423
Oh Lenore... My Lenore.
Alejandro Sep 2014
Oh Lenore Lenore
Where hath thou hidden thyself
I must see you more and more
who hath taken thy heart to be
******* to be gored on thy floor

Oh Lenore
who hath no knowledge of me
through paths blown haulage of nothing but trees
flew to no college
cruising without acknowledge

From door to door
running by the stores in the poor
why hath thou hidden thyself from me
I must see you more and more
who hath taken thy heart to be fried and chopped
to be on thy floor, my Lenore

Oh my Lenore
How my core doth dries on thy door
Oh you're bored
you ran from door to door
escaping for you sword and roared
I stood up and ran out the door from thy sword

Eyes feeling sore just about to pour
I suddenly felt a sore in my core
falling to the ground
being gored near thy door
feeling nothing but a galore of tores

Oh Lenore, My Lenore
I only wanted to love you... forevermore
I was inspired by Mr. Poe's poetry at the time I wrote this.
Sep 2014 · 448
Poem
Alejandro Sep 2014
The heart that always thumps
Thumps faster and faster as life
The life of my life walks and disappears
Darkness brightens, as the light darkens

Your words are songs
More beautiful than the last
The life of my life sings like a bird
Flying away faster than a bee

That smile that never faded away
Those eyes that always outshines the stars
Them hugs that always warmed me up inside
And the kisses i will always remember

It gives me joy seeing you here
From the day i saw you
To the day we fell in two parts
I've always wanted to be inside your sweet tender heart
But i wouldn't want to tear you apart
That would be like a big ol smelly ****

I felt like we could've been more
More than what we were
We just fell short
Guess i should've thought more
But i was carried away
You're beauty was that of a blue jay

No amount of words can tell just how much
Just how much you really meant to me
I could hold you in my arms for days
And tell you all different the loving words
Shining on you brighter than trillions of different stars
Not even that could show
How much you really meant to me

From the bright loving mornings
To the dark saddening night
Not a moment went by
That I didn't want to be shy

Deep down when last we set apart
I've still and always want to be
Inside that very sweet and tender heart

— The End —