If you thought you've met the clumsiest girl
you still haven't met her

No one can be as clumsy as her
because no one else had
accidental sprains
accidental bruises
accidental bumps
accidental cuts
like she had

You'd wonder why she's so clumsy
because every moment you'd see her
she has a new story that comes with a new injury
and everytime she'd talk about it
you'd see the perfect mixture of
giggly, embarrased, and happy
all at the same time

She'd smile and laugh about it
and you'd be there listening
being the perfect mixture of
worried, frustrated, and happy
all at the same time

You'd wonder at her wonderous nature
of how to smile when the injury hurts
Oh, how you'd wish
that you could be there
to tell her off and pick her up
wrap up her bruises
wipe of her tears
but thing is she won't let you
all you could do is
silently wail with her
for all she ever did was smile

I have made many mistakes
From the moment I was born
I have made many mistakes.
For my soul has taken a body
with a weak heart and terrible
lungs, and yet yearns to live and
fight for life.
I have definitely made a mistake*

I have made many mistakes
From the moment my mind formed,
I have made a mistake. For my
heart has loved science and medicine
And yet my ears have attuned to music
and hands to play on strings. I
become torn between two beautiful
things.
i have definitely made a mistake

I have made a mistake
From the moment I started learning,
I made a mistake. For every moment
I existed in the hallways, I was broken.
For the other children ridiculed and laughed at me for being a strange and odd
being. From 4'5 to 5'11, I regretted living
I have made a mistake

But you..
You saw my mistakes as a blessing when
I was too blind to see what they should
be to me. You made my mistakes a good
part of me. You made my mistakes a blessing.

I have made a mistake
For I have seen them as mistake
*that was my biggest mistake

It was on the grass that I made the most
fond memories with you. Times that we'd sit and talk, play, and enjoy each other's company. It's a marvel on how each memory was embedded in each blade of grass. Maybe, that's why there are fields and fields of them. Because for every blade of grass, was a fond memory of you.

I'm but a Dante Allighieri
watching his Beatrice
fall from his hands
Watching her fall for another man
Leaving me to insanity
and all I could do is watch
watch her be well and happy
making our existences never meet

All I could do is watch
and think about her

Seeing you today was like
the weather at this moment.
The sun was shining, but
rained poured lightly from
the sky above.. and I never
expected the rain to fall
while the sun was bright*

- G.f.S.

Today, I pray for an angel's decent
     to guide you with it's all great consent
Today I pray for a happier day
     to make you fullfilled, happy and gay
I pray to God to give you my happiness
     to make you feel better and forget your sadness
Do not be sad if you see my frowned face
     I prayed for you, that is the case

I use to believe that
the only response to
"I love you"
was
"Oh, crap"
because apparently
me being in love
was such
an inconvenience
to you

So Maybe,
the next time
I fall in love,
she shall
never know
how much I do
for I only wish
to not be an
inconvenient
bafoon

and told my 5-year old self
what's been happening to me lately
I bet he would look into my eyes
jump out of that hospital bed
and cry with joy and laughter

I would've told him
that he finally made friends, the ones he has always dreamed of
That he was able to run and touch his toes
and try out all kinds of sports
That he was able to ride a bike, drive a car
and traveled to all sorts of places
That he was able to meet and talk to all sorts of people

That he was able to celebrate an unknown feeling to him called "Love"
That he was able to gaze upon such people and to feel and understand love
That he fell in love with someone who he'd never thought he'd be in love with
That he fell in love, fought, lost and loved again

If I were able to see my 5-year old self
I would look at him with teary eyes saying
"You will be happy"

There were those nights where
I would sit and look on
how things are between us
and I would come to the conclusion that
times will come when we're not okay
and I'd always fear if I will still feel the same after

I'd delve at the thought, hoping I would see myself
as nothing more than an overthinker
But the universe, then again always proves me wrong
wrong in the most cruel, diabolic ways

The universe is cruel
but... you make me see otherwise
because cruelty can't make me smile..
driving you home on a Thursday afternoon
watching the sunset, and with our friends
looking back at the day, thinking..
The day was just right
cause it gave me a right reason to dance

Whenever those nights come back
I'd always tell myself in a lonesome chant
"Remember Yesterday"
because it was when we were okay

I can only pray
that my patience
would never reach
it's peak
for as a man
who can only
take as much
as a human can
I'm almost at
threshold

I always believed
that I'm not allowed
to say a single rant
for there are things greater
than what I can imagine
I'm told that
I can't complain
I can't frown
I can't wonder
for that's what it means
to be selfless..
yet I still ponder

My mother always told me
"just be a little more patient"
how can I be, when
father always tells me
"YOU ARE NOT THINKING"
"ARE YOU BLIND!?"

I'm sorry, father
if I'm not up to the test
but know that
I follow every word
ever sentence for the best
For every spare moment
I had, I have given it to you
I did promise that
I would take care of you
be your "right" side
as I termed it

I'm sorry if
I have no idea
what the heck you're pointing at
whenever you want me to get
something for you
I'm sorry if
I have no idea
what you want to say and if I don't know
what you're thinking
I'm sorry if
I'm not the smartest guy you'll ever meet
cause I might never fully understand
what you really want from me

But please, Dad.. tell me
is it worth it to tell me
"YOU DON'T CARE"
"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND"

I understand fully that your time on earth
runs by the shorter years, but please dad
please... your words hurt me more
than every beating that you have given me

I do understand that you want me to grow
but it always hurts me more
that you're willing to let go..

Dad, I'm almost at threshold

Tachycardia*
that was the first thought
I had when I first felt your
heartbeat. Your heart seemed
weak and yet your eyes
gleamed. I admire that.

You smiled at the face of
death and anger, and yet your
heartbeat sounded weak.
You're a strong one, I thought
for not many can smile at
the dark moments in their
life. I admire that.

You should see yourself
for what you really are,
and not some persona
closed in a facet of lies.
You are not just a star that
shines in the dark.
You are the sun that gives
life with light.

You say I'm strong?
You should see yourself.

The way I am in love with you
is like Quantum Mechanics

there's the uncertainty
of your feelings
the possibility that your
feelings are both true and false
the superposition of people
coming and going into your life
and the distance of light years
on how different our relative times are

It's like I'm an electron to you
in a quantum level
I don't understand where my orbit is
more how many electrons there are
It's like I'm in a constant series of leaps
passing through the double slits
and I cannot tell when I am a particle or a wave

Every second I move through space-time
I feel the constant bend and mend of it
and to the point that I am in a situation
where I exist and don't exist

I've done everything in my power
and here, I put my hands up high
surrendering to to you all that I can offer
for my head can't be held up tight

Your love for him, I cannot bother
for this is what you want
My words, my actions cannot reach you
and blood, tears and sweat seem not enough

Here I confess that my lungs have been damaged
my heart has palpitated all that it could
Just so that I could put a smile on your face
and not bother you as I should

I've done everything in my power
and yet.. I cannot be "The One"
I ask, do you see nothing in me?
do you see a tombstone for me?

I have been there in the times
that you have suffered
that you wept and grieved in lost love
in the times that you lost hope

I have been there in the times
that you have smiled
that you smirked and laughed in gained memory
in the times that you gained hope

Here, I realize that.. I will never be enough
my words, my actions, my soul
they will never reach you
they will never meet you

Here I am once again
looking at love with my bare eyes
Here I am once again
for all that is left of me

A piece of my mind, my heart
my love and broken soul
whatever was left that
you haven't taken from me
and what I have not given you

I put up my hands up high
knees on the floor
eyes drenched with tears
and I tell all the stars my wish for you
--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---
I wish you sunshine after the rain
All the rest after the pain
I wish you a comfy bed and tea
that tastes beyond your wildest dreams

I wish you health and strength
a good morning and beautiful sunrise
a safe journey home and warm cloudy skies
that makes funny shapes as the light enters your eyes

I wish you all the happiness that the world could offer
or at least, a wonderful taste
of the happiness you have given me
because I wasn't enough to make you feel that

Haha, my wish for you
All I wish for you is love

If "love" hurts and "love" gives pain,
wouldn't love have no right to be called love?
Because if love is what we see as something good,
then, love with pain and hurting shouldn't be love!?
unless pain and hurting becomes a good thing?*
---------------------------------------------------------­---------
That was once a thought I had as a child, but as I grew
older, I thought... maybe it hurts because the love of others
contradicts our own. We both preach the same kind of love
and yet show it differently, and apparently it shows us
that love is the same, and yet it varies...
From religion to culture, From ideas to perspective
From physical to spiritual to emotional
The scary thing now is... when does love become love?
For religion and culture varies
For ideas and perspective varies
When does love become love when love contradicts?
--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---
Love is.. a beautiful and scary thing

Being the ears
that listens
than the mouth
that speaks
I find how insignificant
we are all to each other

I find not one worry
in any of the names
that they mention
just "Me, Myself, and I"
and every lie in between

I find it humorous
how the world revolves
in every one-upping
as everyone speaks
in competition
and I quietly sit there
with a smile
in every comment
just waiting for a turn
to be listened

Out of all the things
I could ask from you
All I want is
to sit and talk with you again
with the both of us knowing that
we are okay with each other

You may lie constantly that
you are okay with me
but I can see it in your eyes
I can see it in your look
that things are not okay

You may say that I would be
crazy to accuse you of this
but you would know better
than to lie to me again

All I want is for things to be okay
but apparently, I ask for journeys
that require me to cross stars and galaxies