Did you think about me
When you walked into the woods
Did you think about your family
Or only of the shoulds?

Knife in your hand
Did you think about how life isn't fair?
Ready to take your stand
Did you not think your kids would care?

Blade to your stomach
Did you feel the pain?
Already making your summit
Was my love just in vain?

Blade to your chest
Did you stutter at all?
Did you realize you were committing theft?
Then you began to fall

Blade to your wrist
Did your life flash before your eyes?
Not even for a split
Second, did you think about how we would cry?

Blade to your neck
How did you do it?
You turned our lives awreck
Then you made the final slit

As you laid on the ground
As your blood soaked that leaf
Did you make a final sound?
Or were you content with your relief?

As we searched in the woods
We prayed for you
And we thought of the coulds
Our heart turned blue

Then we got the news
They found your body
People began to accuse
Us of your death, oddly

Time went by
And our grief remained
Now we look to the sky
Whenever you are named

my heart nearly stopped every time i had to cross the street
so let’s thank the queen for writing it down
before she’s just another thing i have to step over
all the rest have tickled my feet so far
and everything under construction reminds me that these days
the only remedy seems to be better luck and more cloud cover

i’ve been racing to crash on the couch
just to wake up to see if i have time for it all
and i want the stereotype to be true so i have nothing to cry about  
with the way things are going
you’d tell me not to be so brutal to myself
but the thrill i used to know is now paying its dues to the concrete

i was almost convinced i wasn’t asleep
when she whispered paris
nothing, everything may have changed
so this is not like anything i’ve never meant:

my heart nearly stopped with the regret of not talking to you
it's hard killing birds when you don't have any stones and
besides this time i think i've really done it
two days and this is already my favorite story but
second chances don't have to be so mysterious
maybe i just wanted to see you smile again

i should have said it w/o one of and the s after the L
still choosing o over x
and your pull showed my hands a home in the back of your denim
two across the channel makes the significant not so, if you want it
i’ll keep looking for you so long as you
don’t stop drawing me maps

if i died in my indecision then
your mouth showed me heaven
you’re the closest thing to purpose
i’ve ever tasted

i wish you knew how much i mean that

Be patient
Wait a little
Wait for a while

Be calm
Breathe a little
Rest for a while

Be mindful
Think a little
Think for a while

Be happy
Smile a little
Smile for a while

i want to get high in foreign cities
travel to places i have yet to lay my eyes on
pack a bag and take off, my only motive to feel free
i want to kiss lovers on pavement my toes have never touched
beneath trees rooted with legends in their leaves
ensuring everlasting love
and i want to feel light, rather than weighed down
anchored to one small town
i want to drop everything and get away
to places where time is altered
and the stars are always present
whether it be in the night sky or people's eyes
i want to fall in love with strangers, cities, and scenes
i crave so deeply to feel free
to start anew

but at the same time
i want you to come too

s.s

This morning
I woke up
and thought
all my poetries
were over
but then I saw her
smiling in her sleep
and there it was,
love, yet again.

Your naked body
Pressed on mine
We kissed

I thought that
I should feel
Something

Thrill, euphoria
Lust, love
Or bliss

But no
I felt
Nothing

I'm tired
yet here I write
beneath the bright light of my room
too tired to move the trash off my bed
writing in hopes others will understand
will resonate with me
will be happy
for some reason, or another
I just want everyone to be happy
but I know it's not that easy
and I wish I knew that when I started out
because I wouldn't have painted myself in this corner
with no way out
now that my mind has had itself firmly planted
in that frame of thought...

Sleeping was my escape
Until the demons came and
stole my peace
they fed me lies
and lured me to the knives
Until I broke down again
and relapsed a cycle round my head
I am north
They are south
They attract

My worst nightmare.


**** I’m going insane