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235 · Apr 2021
Disc Error
ZL Apr 2021
Versions of me skip tracks like a scratched cd...
Who am? Who do I wanna be?
Memories of myself flash forward as I push them way back...
Youngest person ever; at risk for heart attack.
Cardiac arrest, organs seldom rest.
If God grants me tomorrow,
I will try my best.
235 · Apr 2021
Mirror
ZL Apr 2021
Knowing you, was learning myself
I was the healer who wouldn't ask for help.
Knowing you, gave my lonley heart hope.
You; a *** addict, helped me to cope.
Knowing you, reminded to soften.
You made me vulnerable,
And I don't do that often.
234 · Sep 2013
Promises
ZL Sep 2013
Open wounds never heal
Slaughtered my spirit
Over ****.
Placed hopes in your cup
Overflow of emotions
You spill.
Salt from my eyes
Blood from my cries
Why tell me you wouldn’t do it again?
Broken lies.
233 · Nov 2015
bastard children
ZL Nov 2015
We were nothing more than two young black
*******. Old in soul, too soon we became grown. Belonging to nothing or no one.
Together and alone...

We talked of marriage,
but I questioned my ability to be a
A committed lover.
I could never see the wife in me,
and I could not be his *mother


Unsteady and troubled,
I needed stability and security
he was in over his head,
the young boy,
couldn't be my *daddy
231 · Mar 2021
Fine Print
ZL Mar 2021
Cute but anxious,
Not sure how you may take this.
A million moods:
From innocent to crude,
Mental disturbance I allude.
Fun but depressed.
Could you put my soul at rest?
Or would you judge me if I became distressed?
If no to any of the above,
You good citizen, have failed the test.
A for acting,
You gave it your best.
228 · Jan 2016
Bloody love
ZL Jan 2016
Looks in mirror with eyes closed...

Love is not real.
Love is not real.
Love is not real!

Opens eyes slowly
******.

Why do I still feel?
223 · Dec 2014
Real World
ZL Dec 2014
I have wasted so much time
on lovers I'll never love

and who will never love me
because this is reality

and my kind of love only exists in fantasy.
220 · Aug 2014
His side of the bed
ZL Aug 2014
She was afraid when her eyes led astray
but was filled with joy of happiness and gay
she had this feeling that he'd make her okay.

I loved you right away.
awoke to mornings,
you were the sun to my day.

I loved you right away
lost, I'd think of you and feel at home
you were my way.

I loved you right away
the reason my heart hurts
is because I always expected you to stay.

Now tears of sadness
cuddles her frail body
the side of her bed, where he used to lay.
217 · Nov 2015
life & death
ZL Nov 2015
I want to drift far away
into an endless day.

escape tomorrow
and all its sorrow.

but instead i stay here
because death too,

is something i fear.
217 · May 2014
those damn Americans
ZL May 2014
life is never as bad as it
seems.
suffering has not been
seen.
until one has experienced hell
overseas.
217 · Dec 2015
purge
ZL Dec 2015
I wish I could purge my flesh
from all ungodliness.

leaving no sign of life,
death is a mess.
214 · Nov 2014
x
ZL Nov 2014
x
some topics poetry itself cannot fathom;
I have writers block,
so this is random.
211 · Apr 2014
desert island
ZL Apr 2014
I want to cry
           For you
I cannot revive
         My tears

     I want to feel
     For you
emotions uproot
     My fears

I want to calm
         The storm
   which rocks
         Your boat
Only I can’t
      I’m unable to float
211 · Jul 2014
Made to Love
ZL Jul 2014
Any romantic will tell you,
humans were made to love.*

For many years through dark eyes,
I seen the light of love.

Sweet nothings whispered in my ears,
I was told the secrets of love.

I inhaled and smelled
the sweetness of love.

We kissed and I savored
the flavor of love.

Only my heart could not feel.
So, I was unable to love.
208 · Nov 2014
More
ZL Nov 2014
I want to quit,
Sick and tired
I ain’t never satisfied!

I said I was okay,
I think I lied.
I was never satisfied.

Born with an open heart
Vulnerability stretched far and wide
Highs and lows; never satisfied

Too much confusion in her mind
Too much pride, humility died
Rest              in                    Peace

To she, who was never satisfied!
205 · Sep 2020
the author
ZL Sep 2020
her name was season
she could change four times.
her name was silver,
they called her dime.
her name was motion
she came, and went.
they called her good-time,
money well spent.
her name was legend
villain, hero, lover, and friend.
she left with everything,
that's how the story begins...
205 · Mar 2021
Ice Age
ZL Mar 2021
Too old to be young
Too self conscious to be fun
Too depressed to be light
Too sensitive to start a fight
Too combative for a man
I should chill but I'm no fan.
Too me to be free....

So, here in my mind is where I'll be.
205 · May 2014
Not today (10 w)
ZL May 2014
as
days
       come to a close.
dreams
       prepare
to
      die.
203 · May 2021
Ex bad guy
ZL May 2021
I liked to make you mad,
Loved to make you sad.
Anything to convince myself that I didn't LOVE you that **** bad!

Reality was, I was madly in love!
emotions? boundaries? commitment?
I can't process such stuff!

But you loved me.
And in return, I made you cry.
I want to be your baby again,
I'm no longer the bad guy.
199 · May 2021
Untitled
ZL May 2021
My mind is a vessel
That wants me dead.
It ****** me at day,
Rapes me at bed.
Unhinged thoughts,
Has numbed creativity.
Once so optimistic,
Now I doubt my abilities.
This head will bring my end.
A truth, I cannot pretend.
Heavy is the crown,
For a unfortunate man.
199 · Nov 2014
Tell me
ZL Nov 2014
what is the strongest human emotion?

I fear the answer to that question...
190 · Jun 2021
Luv
ZL Jun 2021
Luv
They say in love,
when you know you know.
Easier to understand,
If your baby didn't go. . .
How to fix,
what didn't deserve to be broken.
I should be crying or smoking,
Pride tells me I'm joking.
Because,
What's a lover-girl to do?
If she can't be loving.
190 · May 2021
Conceived
ZL May 2021
If I could go back,
there would be no me.
Find me in paradise,
lounging at the beach.
I would laugh,
as my siblings swam towards the sea...
As I float in nothingness,
finally free.
188 · Jul 2014
The only advice needed
ZL Jul 2014
Never
get
so
caught
up
in
life
that
you
forget
to
live.
187 · May 2014
Memorial Day
ZL May 2014
better he that is dead
than he alive
said someone
who still lives
said someone
who lies.

Rest in peace
is all I can say
as I attempt
to live better
if granted another
day.
#holiday
186 · Mar 2022
Untitled
ZL Mar 2022
Dark as night
Blindly you fight.
Bright as day,
light is in your way.
Fragile as glass,
tarnished as brass.
Colder than zero,
trying to be a hero.
184 · Aug 2015
wanderer
ZL Aug 2015
First, I fall in love with your smile.

Next, you will fall in love with me.

But, love me while you can.

Because I will always leave.
184 · May 2021
Surprises
ZL May 2021
A shy smile from afar,
may make light for tomorrow.

A half hearted hug,
can be felt as love.

A kind word,
will forever be heard.

The smallest embrace,
can make a mask reveal it's face.
π £ π •
182 · May 2021
Divorce
ZL May 2021
I release you, Past.
You have stayed for too long.

Guiding my steps,
to lead me wrong.

Confusion and chaos;
a never ending story.

Your will not hinder my future,
neither my glory.
π £ π •
178 · Feb 2021
7
ZL Feb 2021
7
A bath a day
Washes the sin away.
I scrub the skin,
But can't reach within.
A pill a night
Numbs my desire to fight
Hours are loan sharks
That pack a bite.
Sun shines; body grows older
Moonlight; heart grows colder.
163 · Apr 2021
Again
ZL Apr 2021
Maybe you were misunderstood,
I would have stayed if I could.
To listen, talk to, feel you out.
But intimacy is something I'm not sure about.
I considered you then, I think of you now.
Cold hearts feel love, don't ask me how.
Just wanted to say; I hope you're fine,
even if you will never be mine.
154 · May 2021
Untitled
ZL May 2021
Had I known our kiss would have been the last. I wouldn't have kissed you, just made you laugh.  Remember my sweetness and my charm. Feel the fire that once kept you warm. Cry from the eyes I would dreamingly gaze into.
Remember our beauty without blaming you.
π £ π •
152 · Aug 2020
fear
ZL Aug 2020
Afraid of the darkness
I hid within.
Afraid of strangers
I became my friend.
Afraid of dying
so I refused to live.
Afraid of ends,
so I refused to start
Afraid of love,
so I broke my own heart.
152 · Apr 2021
Haughty
ZL Apr 2021
Too cool to ask you to warm me up.
My thoughts run free, while my words are stuck.
Too proud to show affection in front of a crowd.
Ego is wild, yet my spirit is bound.
Too angry to feel your point of view,
My ways were wrong, still I passed them for truth.
Too sorry to ask you back again,
Our love was a fight, you deserved to win.
145 · Feb 2021
Late at love
ZL Feb 2021
The aftershock of love
Always shakes me the hardest.
I pushed you away
Now you've gone the farthest.

A delay in reaction
Is usually my action.
Divided two hearts,
Down to the lowest fraction.

Forgive me most
for I'm usually on time
I ran out of excuses,
Leaving you on my mind.
145 · Apr 2021
Untitled
ZL Apr 2021
Black or White.
Wrong or Right.
Dark or Light?

Beauty in both
But is there hope?

For us to undo the past?
If not, we won't last.

Actions have a headstart, but Karma is fast!
141 · May 2021
Untitled
ZL May 2021
Leave me alone as I fade away.
I was only visiting, never wanted to stay.
Don't touch me as I grow cold and blue...
I know you cared, this part is true.
Life was a blur,
love was never there.
Allow me to die,
death is only fair.
141 · May 2021
Placement
ZL May 2021
When something breaks,
It becomes broken.
A heart is closed,
with love, it opens.
Roses appear beautiful in any vase,
Everytime, anyplace.
π £ π •
136 · Apr 2021
B.C
ZL Apr 2021
B.C
Woman know your place!
Human know you race.
Object know your space.
Don't show emotion on your face.

Love; reflect your grace.
Forgive our ugliness disguised as mistakes.
Every life will lose the race.
Being born is all it takes.
135 · May 2021
Shooter
ZL May 2021
My first experience,
still makes no sense.
From the intense flirting,
to the awkward first kiss.
You were my target,
Grateful I didn't miss.
A night to remember,
A moment of bliss.
133 · Apr 2021
Stimulation
ZL Apr 2021
It hurts to care,
So, I claim I don't.
It's takes trust to share,
So, I decide I won't.
It takes work to relate,
So instead, I imitate.
Some call it fake,
Still, honest effort it takes.
132 · Mar 2021
Nameless
ZL Mar 2021
Fragile heart inside my chest
Can't find the love
Can't feel the rest.

Fragile heart below my head
Heavy is the soul
Who soils the bed.

Fragile heart, fragmented brain
I'm nobody's victim
But they do have names.
125 · May 2021
Perspective
ZL May 2021
She who fears nothing,
has seen too much.

She who feels everything,
has had enough.

She who hears voices,
has felt his touch.
π £ π •
121 · Mar 2021
Honest truth
ZL Mar 2021
I miss you badly
But you're no good for me.
I loved you blindly,
But your motives, I could not see.
I longed for us to be long term,
But patience is a virtue, we did not learn.
For you, I boasted and bragged.
would have kept you forever, until my foot was tagged.
Our romance ended,
Broken ties couldn't be mended.
Something beautiful we did not make,
And this sad truth is the cause of my heartbreak.
119 · May 2021
Crush<Ed>
ZL May 2021
You had me at hello.
My mind wandered places
only bodies would know.
Into your home, next in your bed.
Too close for comfort
as I ran pleasing fingers through your head.
I craved your scent.
Longed for your touch.
If infatuation is a rush,
I need more of this stuff!
It was love at first sight,
A truth, you chose to fight.
Therefore, that hello never turned to goodnight.
118 · Apr 2021
Karma
ZL Apr 2021
Black bodies from the grave will have their day.
Future inheritance and bloodlines,
Their grieved souls will slay.
Visits to evil racist their unrest spirits will pay.
Black ****** is a game racists win and play.
Karma may seem slow,
But she never forgets her way.
When she gets to America,
She's welcome to stay.
113 · Mar 2021
Strangers at the bar
ZL Mar 2021
Eyes wait on me like I'm the table
Pour me some'n brown, black label.
Lips pursed as a coke cola curve.
She said hello, I held back the urge.
Before I said goodbye, I fought up the nerve....
To utter only those last four words.
113 · Mar 2021
Double crossed
ZL Mar 2021
Brain on fire
Demons don't tire.
I try to sleep during hunting hours.

Heart of stone
Life is wrong
"I need the creator on the phone!"

Soul is pure,
Well -- I'm not sure
But death shall be my only cure.
107 · Mar 2021
Gray Matter
ZL Mar 2021
Despair does not care,
It will follow you anywhere.

Pain takes no aim,
Always landing on your name.

Darkness will always refuse light,
Fear of knowing any other life.
102 · Mar 2021
Therapy
ZL Mar 2021
Truth is I'm afraid...
Of friends,
Skeptic of lovers.
I resist affection
Just to blame on others.
I feel so much that this poem can't cover.
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