intuition runs up and down your core
a whispered knowing deep
planted there before the beginning of time
a wand to wave, magic carpet ride
there are things that just are
and there is no getting away from them.

I was changed.
Not changed like the tide,
which always changes back
But changed like an atomic bomb
went off in my body, in my heart.
She was a nuclear reaction
A tiny bit of matter that alters the state of everything she touches.
She was radioactive,
You could feel her coming.
She was a bomb
And I'm a lost atoll,
drifting in the Pacific.
Destroy me in the most
beautiful of explosions.
Split me, subatomically,
and realign me how you wish.
She was science and she was engineering.
She was mankind's best,
doing mankind's worst.
She was detonation,
She was a split second explosion.
Depth charges that awaken,
Super sonic flash wiring,
blinding brilliance.
She was self destructive implosions
Bringing down the walls.
I'm a deserted structure,
waiting to be torn down.

I confess to everything,
To all the lies I've told,
Pain I've caused
And happiness I stole,

I confess to everything,
All the stolen nights,
Memories ruined,
And all the good byes,

I confess to all of it,
And wasted time,
I'll take all the blame,
If it'll once again make you mine,

i burned the bridge we shared
cried a river
and could not cross it
it flooded
my salty tears dried up the land
nothing could grow
barren land filled with sorrow
the only way across
was the bridge i burned: you

you were my only source for sunshine and smiles
our kisses lit up rainbows over my hazy *** but the cloudy skies came when my eyes rained
I can no longer remember
the swells and curves my fingertips have come to know
i craved your attention & gave all my affection
to be casted off as a lonely little freshman

for the seeds embedded in my mind
grew into withered thoughts of us happily together
the thoughts died when i realized i was just a toy
you toyed with my naïvety and played me for a fool
you fooled me into believing we could be more than just a shared secret
secrets aren't meant to be shared
and neither were you
you, the one i had fallen for
fell on your knees for him
all the sunshine and rainbows blew away
when you blew him to a cloudy liquid on your lips
lips that i had kissed in private and we swore to never tell a soul

now i watch as you & him walk hand in hand
without a care for the young girl who figured out she liked other girls.

I am not afraid of the darkness
but the shadows that hide within it.
I am not afraid of silence,
but the sounds that eventually break it.