the pain
of having to let you
go your way

after such loving days

pulls my face
   into a joyous smile
makes me speak
   words of reassurance
   crack jokes
   ostentatiously enjoy
      a Manhattan at lunch time
   and boisterously hug you
      au revoir

anything
   to overcome
      unshed tears
      the hardening lump in my chest
      the tightening knot in my stomach
      the cold fist that grips my neck
      tightens my throat
      makes my eyes dry
      with the knowledge
         you will not be
         by my side
         for weeks

              * *

Somewhere on this open ocean
Is an island
Where you can hear the song of the sirens
Crash into the rocks and never return

And forty-two sailors could not deny
Forty-two could not escape
The song so sweet
They have to hear it

But somewhere in time
Brave Ulysses
Was tied to the mast of his ship
And his naked ears were tortured

And forty-two sailors could not deny
This bittersweet temptation
They know it will destroy them
With a smile on their faces

None
Not an inch
I wonder what it all meant
Progression
But tell me
Tell me
Ring the bell chief
Bring me every ounce of grief
How are we "better" or "improved"
What have we planted in the youth?
It's too embedded in the root
It's no good, it's too rotten for real growth
Too many don't know or never cared beyond their own selfishness
People who can make changes only do a little of that for themselves
What is drugs, parties, and women?
The wheel is spinning fast and only right now you're "winnin"
You can't pick and choose what kind of person you see in yourself
*You're in need of some really good help

She weeps not for the shore
As distance creates a shadow
She embraces the current
Becoming the wave
And gently pushes her sea home

She chases not the sun
As the day is put to rest
She is the moonlight
That cradles the stars
Tightly to her *******

She yearns not
Her pain-streaked tears
That fall below her feet
She is the soil beneath her toes
Her pain now colors the tree

She worries not
The flowers' bloom
Or the leaves that fall like rain
She is the wind
That will kiss the ground
And sweep it all away

You're like
The city lights at night
A scratch in music
Exposed for too long
The coast line
A dislocated spine
Dream sequence on repeat
For years in the backseat
Slow guitar
And the North Star

The noon's greygolden meshes make
All night a veil,
The shorelamps in the sleeping lake
Laburnum tendrils trail.

The sly reeds whisper to the night
A name-- her name-
And all my soul is a delight,
A swoon of shame.

Why should I cry
He did this to himself

Am not sad
why should I be

It's a beautiful night
the weather is nice
and am enjoying my cigarette

It's been one year
since you took your
last breaths,
and I can't stop wishing
you had gotten more time.
You deserved prom dates,
and a high school graduation,
slow kisses in the rain,
and falling in love.

And if I could trade
places with you,
believe me, I would.
Because you deserved a life
far beyond hospital beds
and breathing tubes.

I so desperately wish
you had gotten the life
you fought so hard for.

-k.w//One Year