if everything you did affected me
why should it stop now

when i wake up with you one second in my arms
wondering if it really isn't a dream

only to see more recognition
for those you talk **** about
who don't "know" you

but "i do"
i'm the "only one who really knows" [you]

i don't know what i was thinking
falling for a kid with a broken heart
and broken mind
thinking we could fix it together

when every time i think of his dark chocolate skin
and illuminating smile
i just see his demeaning comments towards women

i probably should have questioned
when you walked in on that girl ******* him
why you didn't wanna **** me instead

you don't know how to make love do you?
ah what a shame

such a waste

of 351 days

351 days
of wishing
for you
to open up to me

351 days
it took
for me to lose myself
and lose you
too

ha
but did i ever really have you?

i thought you were brave
like me

i thought that we were both sick
but yours is different

you're not sick
you're a coward

anyone who hides behind an internet personality
and sleeps in my bed

is not fit for me.

This boy tells you he loves you?
***** you?
Confesses to you?

but talks about those fat ***** on the internet huh

sounds like that boy is confused

sounds like that boy made the biggest mistake of his life

if he doesn't fight for you
he's not worth fighting for

I wish I had a typewriter
because I feel like my works
would have more meaning

every poem I write about You
is a piece of my heart
and soul
if we have those

because when I hurt
I think of Your big
goofy
smile

and I smile

as much as I want to be the reason
for your happiness
and the mother
who holds your child
I can't

not for sure

You see...
love isn't a selfish act
if you love someone
set them free

so I set You free
but I will never let You go
because I don't want my future
any other way
but with You in it

the worst part
of it all
is that
you're already gone

and I won't accept it

ever

if I spend my entire life
chasing after you
to be with you
only to find out it was a mistake

it will have been the best mistake I ever made

you stood at the door
   1       2     3    4      5
but you had al-rea-dy
   6     7     8    9   10  11
left me and you al-one
12  13   14    15   16 17

how can hands cra-dle my
  1       2      3        4     5    6
life-less corpse that died long
7      8       9        10     11    12
be-fore I rem-em-ber
13   14 15 16   17   18

feeling whole wasn't an option

There's been empty spaces
in me since I can remember

I thought you were going to
   fill them?

Why are you telling me to
   snap out of it?

I'm sorry I'm sick
I'm sorry I'm sick

I feel everything dying
within

I let you in, you tore
through my life with a
machete and my heart had
the brunt of it all

I don't hear it beating anymore

  Is this the afterlife?

Can't be
I've been in hell

But you are lucifer and
  you persuaded me to "heaven"

"heaven" filled with silent episodes
and meaningless ***

I clawed my way out
to release you

and then you pushed me
into my well

there is a flood here
The water is rising me to the surface

but I can't hold my breath
for very long

you sink your ship

find your good and save
me from yourself