I will never let it go
I've been told to dye it a natural colour
So I could get a job
But what is the point of getting a job if you can no longer be who you are

The dreams and the crying and the dreams and the crying and the wondering whatever the **** I did to deserve this. Waking up in a cold sweat, tangled in sheets and emotions that cling to my skin like scars, like tattoos, like you. Who the hell even cares right? Who cares about what I wake up as at two a.m., three a.m., four a.m., five a.m., noon. Who cares when I'm standing naked and still can't take off the things that weigh me down. Who ******* gives a **** about hearing that kind of news and not being able to forget how much it hurts. The knife that keeps on stabbing you in the chest, and you can't feel your feet or your arms or your fingers or your lips, but you can't escape the feeling in your chest -- the throbbing in your chest. My heart is too broken to break is what I used to comfort myself with, and now I can't sleep and now I can't move and now I  can't breathe and now I can't live without you.

we don't get to choose who we love,
and as i chose to love you
i watched you turn into a friend
into a lover,
and into a stranger.
i just wish the process would've gone slower.
maybe then i could've enjoyed it all.
sat back and watched as our story unfolded.
and ended.

I don't know where I'll be
In 4 years,
But I hope it's somewhere beautiful
And with you.
I don't know where I'll be
In 3 years,
But I hope it's staring at the stars
And with you.
I don't know where I'll be
In 2 months,
But I hope it's on a park bench
And with you.

I don't know where I'll be
In 1 day,
But I hope it's somewhere beautiful
And with you.

                  t.s.

"Are you drunk?"
"No."
I ask another glass of that thing I don't even remember the name now.
"You're drunk."
"No."
My head starts hurting,
But not more than my heart.
I couldn't stop the question.
"Why did you dump me?"
You glared at me,
Silent.
"I will take you home, c'mon."
"No."
You try to take my arm again.
"You're drunk, just admit it."
"No."
I couldn't even see you well now.
I couldn't see the eyes that made my heart beat so fast so many times before this.
"Okay then I quit."
And you did,
You walked away.
But you already had quit before this anyway.
That's why I'm here drinking alcohol,
To gather some courage to punch you while I can.
Well, maybe alcohol it's not enough.
Or I'm not drunk enough.
Yeah, maybe that's it.
*I was never drunk enough with you.