Sadly,
morphine is the drug, the addiction
that keeps me here today.
Exhilaratingly unstimulating
I'm stuck in a dream world
that has lost it’s color
a monotonous monotone.
Happily,
morphine is my drug, my addiction
that will take my broken
life away.

Last night, I adventured up onto a mountain
Shady trees and familiar acquaintances who I like
Nobodies who enjoy crawling into cracks and crevices
Because the streets are unstimulating

We reach the edge of the world
Look down, must of been 2,000 feet
Kings and Queens
We owned the city, because we had their lights in our hands

That was a night I will relive
Over, and over, and over, and over
I feel alive, I feel aware when I am with you all
It doesn't matter if we had a past or not

You matter
And you made an impact
And you have an affect on my memories
And you made my night memorable

We rule
Because we think we rule
And that is all that matters
All that matters is what you think of yourself

Alone in everything.
Why doesn’t anyone reach for me
before I need to cry out?
What did I do?
What didn’t I do?

Maybe because I’m a pessimist
Maybe that’s it
But I try to be just as positive as negative
You get the worst of me though
when we’re just hanging out
because of my own desperation and persistence

I won’t reach out anymore, you win
I get it by now that I'm just a feint breeze in your head
If no one wants to reach out to me maybe I don’t deserve it
Good friends? Maybe I haven’t earned them.
But I try so hard.
What’s the trick?
What will make me stick?

I’m up to my knees in problems
But I’m not asking for anyone to solve them
All I’m asking for
Is some company,
To be sought out because I mean something,
For a friend to be drawn to me

Does my presence feel toxic?
Is it just unstimulating to you?
Is who I am just arbitrary?
Insignificant in the flesh?
Because I get the feeling I may not be negative
Just nothing at all

Maybe in your head you think I’m a pain
If only you knew that it comes from inside
I’d offer you a walk in my shoes
But what’s it really matter to any of you?

The coffee here
or something that passes for coffee
sort of coffee
but watered down
weak
tasteless
benign
unstimulating
that's the best word for it
I guess that's it in a nutshell
where I am
waterdown
unstimulated
some approximation of
me

She is a recycled ****** faithful to her roots, on overdrive (she thinks high)
She's a little narcissist with tears in her eyes
Sometimes

She is unstimulating dead at the core I avoid her corpse, sick to my bones
Words fail me to describe her
She inhabits a ***** smelly drawer
Her life is a string of disaster but ah not like mine
She doesn't try hard
"She's not one of us"

I thought we would be the world
but that was before
the doors
And I have tried to taper you off
Like a drug you should have never known
But you're blind and addicted and starving for love

And I shook inside
for your pain was mine
Siamese twins
Of wards and tears
But different DNA and breed

So I have to carry on fighting
and the fact it's you I hurt.
But ah, you put yourself easily
You had it coming, you see
Like a prey
And I had no idea I could ****.