Gazing upon me,
It pounds me.
Strikes
Kills.

The pressure is unbearable.

You are Unbearable.

You used to be so proud of me.

.
In whisper— shadow sings a song.
My call is joined within the hollows,
Only tiny dimpled crests of the sea,
My voice, for rains, round familiar                                                       As patch into tune of old shattering
Light.  I search for love, sloe in slips
Thru ******* eyes, outcast beyond
And ghostly move into monumental
Futilities of unbearing, leery in flesh
Undeciphered.  Make me one lattice
To bind the wind and mark shallows
Mine as I trudge into black, blue sun.
This song— I sing is for lost keeping,
Hear my hush as it breaks for darks—
And I shall love in box, buried, forgot,
Kept at one sight so grave, remaining
As smudge onto stone burnt in a dial
Etched by firing rays of timeless star,
Hear my song— whispers of shadow.

.
In whisper— shadow sings a song.
My call is joined within the hollows,
Only tiny dimpled crests of the sea,
My voice is for rains, round familiar
As patch into tune of old shattering
Light.  I search for love, sloe in slips
Thru ******* eyes, outcast beyond
And ghostly move into monumental
Futilities of unbearing, leery in flesh
Undeciphered.  Make me one lattice
To bind the wind and mark shallows
Mine as I trudge into black, blue sun.
This song— I sing is for lost keeping,
Hear my hush as it breaks for darks—
And I shall love in box, buried, forgot,
Kept at one sight so grave, remaining
As smudge onto stone burnt in a dial
Etched by firing rays of timeless star,
Hear my song— whispers of shadow.

In whisper— shadow sings a song.
My call is joined within the hollows,
Only tiny dimpled crests of the sea,
My voice, for rains, round familiar                                                       As patch into tune of old shattering
Light.  I search for love, sloe in slips
Thru ******* eyes, outcast beyond
And ghostly move into monumental
Futilities of unbearing, leery in flesh
Undeciphered.  Make me one lattice
To bind the wind and mark shallows
Mine as I trudge into black, blue sun.
This song— I sing is for lost keeping,
Hear my hush as it breaks for darks—
And I shall love in box, buried, forgot,
Kept at one sight so grave, remaining
As smudge onto stone burnt in a dial
Etched by firing rays of timeless star,
Hear my song— whispers of shadow.

In the midst of conundrum ,

massive leaks of an unknown entity
invaded the cardia of a lass.
Some say it was an accident,
some say she chose to open her doors.

Yes, that was a fifth of a decade ago.
On a pedestal, this entity stood tall.
Unbearing the word "compassion", yet -
rust of any clear understanding of the world

Vulnerable :
On to that word she had travelled
"In her head", said an entity,
"crushing her own trust in me".
End of story, - or so she thought!

Beneath it all, a fountain full -
Indelible memories alone;
just drift back and forth like a pendulum.
An awful ending?
No, it really is just a beginning.

when i was fifteen i was a lion-hearted girl
with strong bones and love for myself that crossed seas
i carried myself with sunshine and a smile too big
played melodies on the piano and loved people too much

when i was fifteen i was an ashtray
my warmth was used for kindling and my love to put out fires
my skin started turning black and my heart breaking into pieces
i was still wild-eyed and good

when i was fifteen i was a punching bag
fists touched my ribs most days and fingernails scraped away
chipping at my exterior and tearing my seams to bits
i became cold and unbearing and ruthless, with teeth like a tiger

when i was fifteen i became nothing
buried into soil and left not to grow but to be scavenged
bones broken and unmended, parched lips and stony feet
underground, beaten and crying, dead

*(a.m.c.)

Minutes pass day by day but the same thing remains.  Inner demons tearing the seams of the soul wailing for a chance to be heard. Forced smiles, false laughs, masks painted by the banshees themselves unrecognizable to the viewers eye. The appearance from the eyes looks like summer but feels like the frost from the winter. The words sound of clarity from the rains of spring but represent a dryness from fall. Misalignment, dis-alignment, nothing of the sort to be let known for the fear of disappointment. Not for yourself but for others. Not to be seen for the unspoken truth of not being good enough for the world that took you under its wing against your will. Degraded, suppressed, all worth striped of meaning for those exact reasons that you hide your face in crowds so no one can see the Unbearing truth of reality. It gets worse and worse each day you hear the lie from his lips which only ends in more places to apply your makeup. The shame beats down on you like a blistering flame after its wrath has been contained for too long that you believe the spitting so called "truth" being fed to you on a shinning silver platter. How long do you have til those demons unravel the unseen beauty that nests somewhere unknown? I'm counting down each minute that passes during each day to the final place where your mask can be shed and your worth can be defined.

Dark misfortune may gather up above,
Bleak clouds that shower and beat the oblivious earth
Dread, Pain, and Despair soak and pool together

Yet know that this will pass, though the trials are rough and unbearing
It's essential for life

Wrath may strike across the heavens
And as hope is overshadowed by Anguish
There's no escape from the dark days

This too is essential for life, for rebirth

In time the heavens will be pierced by the rays of life
The pools will fade, the winds will settle, and the silence of peace will return
The storms will concede, the sun will shine once more
The stars will still be there twinkling and gleaming

The reward for endearing the dark stormy days,
Is the profound beauty of life all around;
Life isn't only joy and sunlight
It's also endearing the hard times

To he honest I'm pretty ******* tired of being on my own
Im not really
But still my lack of love makes me angry
Yet I'm Y
               oU
                    N
                        g
That's what everyone else says anyway
Still I'm crazy and no longer problematic
Happy but never enough to prevent sadness
Out to most but still hiding from the majority
Avoiding the conflict I once used to untimely cause and angry at my protagonistic temperament
Raising it's head once in a foreign land
But it didn't last long because previous pain is still there
The oppositions have since dropped from the ceiling to an unknown cause but my webs are still in position camping out in the corner
a silk prospector expressing only malevolent intent
Never really meaning and now that im controlling the pain it's hard to admit, but there's part of me that still reigns in the areas of that room
Skulking through the tears usually my own labelled jester for those on that egotistical throne
So maybe my confidence flickering and unnerving, split between the characters I get to play between the seasons is one of the significant catalysts and thousands of reasons that I'm now on my own
everyone an opposition on my radar
the choice,
to be a villain for the people of my past or be trampled over by those in my present, an insight into my future.
That's if I make it because my obvious disdain is a recognizable trait like my unbearing love and attraction for Unrequited beauty and my I'll advised impulse to avoid the problem
                     make a list of all my excuses
           And Run to the next person most likely to become my biggest predator when I unfurl infront my secrets and ambitions secret Acts of betrayal while on independent side missions
    Diagnosed as ****** and unmedicated
              Mad when alone
    Discontent with my social standing
  And just wanting someone special to.                         bring home

The light,
It tries.
With it's bright jubilance, attempts to penetrate the dark chaos within the crowded forest. It is daytime,
But within the clutter of pine and evergreen,
There is no light.
And as the darkness swallows everything in it's path,
The monsters roam freely.
Their screams,
Earpearcing, unbearing...
Yet unheard.
Bouncing from tree to tree until silence takes over.
Echos mean nothing.
Visions unclear.
Thoughts become clouded.
And that little light,
It tries.
But even the smallest spec, eventually disappears,
Within the ever-growing chaotic forest.

Talking nonstop
Words after words
Voice to be heard
Discussions here and there
But beware
Talk could be gossip
Makes one fed up
Words of never mine
Words with evil thunder
Lightning strike feel
Talk is so real
Uncontrollable tongue
The Mighty Mouth can be unbearing
No Silence breakthrough
The Mighty Mouth Marvel with the strong voice
No mistake
For Heaven’s sake
Give or take
At stake