it’s… okay

sitting there with seven people who know me best surrounding me

eating cucumbers with salt and strawberry cheesecake ice cream

little bursts of laughter ringing out at updates at our lives

impromptu staring contests breaking out with one of the strangest and funniest men i’ve ever known

“how’s the fam”s and “i missed you guys”s cropping up every once in a while

it’s more than okay

it’s another home

i’ve always thought that home was supposed to be just one place, one location or person in which your soul blossoms like sunflowers in the summertime. i don’t think that now. your home can be with your cat with the upside down heart on his face, and with your mom whose hands smell like cool lotion and kindness, and your dad who sings paul mccartney too loud, and with your brothers who share tiktoks with you and laugh at your terrible jokes. your home can be with your friend with purple dyed hair, or your friend with red dyed hair, or your friend with the mustache, or your other friend with the mustache, or your roommate who gives too much, or your friend who wears big jewelery, or your friend with the round glasses and big smile. your home can be with your curly-haired soulmate hundreds of miles away. your home can be with a girl you met online who you overshare with every day. your home is expansive and all-encompassing and everything that makes you feel safe and warm and fuzzy and all the cheesy stupid things rom-coms are supposed to make you feel but not in a romantic way just in a

comfortable way

home is comfort

home is safety

home is home

2 tablespoons general anxiety

1 large worry, finely diced

¾ cup internet memes

3 unfinished books, opened facedown on already cluttered surface

2 heaping teaspoons anger that I keep making too-watery iced coffee

1 dash missing my friends

8 large handfuls shame that i’m not being productive enough, roughly chopped

1 pinch writing everyday being harder than i’d anticipated

14oz thinly veiled joy of being trapped inside

57lb tiktoks that are entertaining but also rotting my brain, peeled

107g fear that i’ll never be great at anything, thoroughly rinsed and drained

72kg reliance on my boyfriend’s affection to substantiate my own sense of self worth

0 knowledge of how recipes are written for garnish

salt to taste