"shmuck" poems
Me Nose knows da way she goes.
Da smells herb throws,
me Nose just knows.
Da smell kush gives.
Da way me lives.
Me Nose just knows.
'avin a ****
with a **** lovin' bloke.
enjoyin' da incense.
But me losing da essence.
Me Nose knows, but me eyes don't.
Me **** lovin' bloke,
who me was 'bout to ****
was not a gurl,
just a lyin' shmuck.
He was not a chick
'cause he had a ****
Me eyes now know
what me Nose knows.
Dec 9, 2014
Dec 9, 2014 at 2:11 PM UTC
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Apr 8, 2016
Apr 8, 2016 at 4:16 PM UTC
Funny some days
When things won't go your way
And you see them nice cars
People enjoying their ice cream
Idiots smiling, arms full of insecurities
And you're in a boxing ring
With one woman eating at your soul
The mother of your child,
Bending your legs into halves
The one who brought you,
Screaming in the corner,
Loser! Shmuck! Mistake!
Circling, are challenged hyenas from work
Poking into you
Like an animal in a cage
And as your nut sack sweats
Walking towards your train
You think to yourself,
They won't even see it coming
When you gotta wake up one day,
Tear everything to ****
Eat everything in your path.
Jul 27, 2018
Jul 27, 2018 at 12:55 PM UTC
you were curling my hair around your fingers and laughing at the shape of them
or maybe you were just laughing at me,
I’m not sure.
and then I told you I loved you and you smiled—
ok that didn’t happen—
what happened was you pulled at the curls you just made in your own hands
until they weren’t attached to my head anymore.
it didn’t hurt, I think.
and then you put them in your pocket and ran away
and then you fell and she picked you up and put you in her pocket and ran away too.
then you came back and said whoops, sorry but you still didn’t give me them back
I don’t know if I even want them back.
on the way to the place with the people and the things in the car you winked at me
or maybe you had something in your eye,
but I smiled and you said that’s fine so I cried for a little and then it was just us
but I was still scared she was going to put you in her pocket and run away again
but you told me not to worry.
and then we were swimming in the pool
but then I looked down and it wasn’t a chlorine-colored blue
it was red like the sun at sunset but it wasn’t sunset and there was no sun;
I felt ok but you didn’t and you pulled a knife out from under the pillow—
the one in your room—
and that’s when I finally realized you were going to be the one to **** me
and I also realized I was ok with it
because better you to **** me than some other shmuck,
you know?
the only problem was I wasn’t the first one you killed,
or it should have been a problem,
or rather they all said it was a problem;
but it wasn’t.
and then we were rolling around in the grass,
and I lost an earring and you said whoops, sorry and I kissed you anyway
but you didn’t kiss me back
but you pretended to and that was alright so I went with it
but then you didn’t want to go all the way and I was ****** but pretended I wasn’t
and then you said shhhhhh and then you grew wings and flew away
and left me there for the birds to eat
while she grew wings to be with you so you weren’t alone.
and then we were sitting on your porch swing and it was swinging slowly
and you looked straight into my eyes for hours while I talked about nothing
but then you started to talk about something
and then I got really happy
and then we started swinging so fast that we were in the sky,
but we weren’t, really.
and then she stopped the swing and picked you up and put you in her pocket and ran away again.
this time you didn’t come back.
then I turned into ***** and told you I was ok with it.
and then I cried.
and then I woke up.
Dec 9, 2012
Dec 9, 2012 at 1:08 PM UTC
Losing control of the brighter things
that sit and smirk at me as
the twilight immerses itself
in the faint glimmers of reality.
Hold that fractured frigid shock
to myself so tight
it breaks and shatters
vomiting sterilized pom poms
laced with chocolate sticky kisses.
Struck me, Lick me, Luck my
humble circumstances as they dance
on the roof of my mouth
chilly strange deadly
turns to muck in the shmuck
at the corner of my brain.
In one moment I’m there
the next, I’m insane.
Minutes switch by slowly as the
natural drugs kick in
enlightening my sense of well-ebbing stretches
into a glass of string.
Apr 19, 2016
Apr 19, 2016 at 11:19 PM UTC
I went on a bike ride today, or at least I tried
I got a flat,
can you believe that.
Now I have to walk on back.
Which is west, which is best.
It was going to be downhill,
just like a roller coaster.
A picture that should be on a poster,
that says "Life is a Thrill!"
Not sure how many miles out I am, but the wind is picking up.
this bike ride turned out to be a sham.
Don't think I got any luck.
Maybe I'm just a shmuck
better hurry up,
cause I need to make up those miles I missed,
the girls I did not kiss, but wish I did.
No regrets is the mantra,
but is it followed,
or made hallowed?
Life can be an evil senorita.
Does this all make sense,
not sure if I know how to repent.
I never gave anything up for lent.
Instead of getting angry I get bent.
Just trying to make enough money to play rent.
**** that wind, it really picked up.
Guess I'll put on a hoodie,
cause I wouldn't want anyone to worry,
about me getting chilly.
Stop me if I begin to sound silly.
What a fail,
can't even ride a bike on a trail.
Still a fail
glad haven't been to jail.
not a fail.
No one has ever had to post bail.
Except I have definitely have bailed a couple of times,
maybe the reason I am trying to write intriguing rhymes.
Any chance you could forgive me of all my crimes.
I'll have on last smoke,
while I laugh at my life, which is a joke.
One thing is constant, giving you strife.
One day we can sit down and ****
Then I'll cut some vegetables with a knife,
and cook it with some egg yolks.
Mar 8, 2013
Mar 8, 2013 at 3:29 PM UTC
It's a straight and narrow path, well defined,
yours was content next to mine.
Hers to the right, his to the left, the intersections a veritable mess.
When you treat me, be kind, I know I've crossed over my lines and into yours, but southern hospitality is what you're known for.
Pour me a drink, kind stranger, this is stranger than anything I've known before.
And I'm a guest, I get it, but I doubt you can get me out of your head.
I'm enjoying the tour though, my friend.
I'm from the straight laced, early morning-late night, stick up your *** uptight class of those with grand plans of Ivy leagues and shaking hands with presidents and world class scholars,
and you from a more relaxed, kicked back, slow motion, 2.0 kind of world, surprising we get on so well.
It's probably the wee bit of **** in between us, because normally, the way you speak would have gotten you knocked on your ***
instead I laughed.
So when our paths cross again, both a little wider, more winding,
remind me of the time we had and please, do come again,
Priss and ***** Mench and shmuck, thanks for hosting such a cliche new friend.
Feb 8, 2018
Feb 8, 2018 at 7:12 PM UTC
I woke up to orange skies
took a **** to clean my demise
drank a tea to open my third eye
pipe up
head down
eyes are pink
mind is black
I turn my back
trust you're not a shmuck
let the world soak you up
even when my mouth is dry
life's a breeze when you're high
a.s.
Jul 25, 2018
Jul 25, 2018 at 3:58 PM UTC
My name is Bill Shmuck.
Tyler McCarthy is my homie.
We live together.
No ****
May 28, 2015
May 28, 2015 at 12:53 PM UTC
I like to write when drunk and high,
that's when emotions run.
Sometimes I even find it nice,
to set ink when I get spun.
Alcohol is lubrication,
when my thoughts are just too bound.
The ******* see's acceleration,
words just flow when I get wound.
I'm not an addict or a shmuck,
I'm a pretty simple man.
Just one who's more than down on luck;
my whole life has strayed from plans.
Yes I'm often found inebriated,
I hope you'll excuse the current condition.
It just seems to me while obviated,
I adopt a cleaner disposition.
May 22, 2015
May 22, 2015 at 11:04 PM UTC
if you want to be a criminal
be prepared to be the badest bad ***
otherwise you will be a shmuck
to a bad *** and their *****
Oct 3, 2014
Oct 3, 2014 at 10:48 PM UTC
I gave you space
A pretty **** huge berth
To sort out your head
And put together your words
But after this blank
You had nothing to say
Nothing to hear and no reason to stay
I asked my friends where I went wrong
Did I love too much
Were my feelings too strong
And like all players say, my friends said to me
It's all about the chase babe
You've gotta play the game honey
So I'll be waiting till the next shmuck comes along
And I'll put frigid oceans between us
And put layers on
Just so that he has something to peel back
*He can chase me all he wants
But this time I won't be easy to crack*
Jun 23, 2016
Jun 23, 2016 at 3:45 PM UTC
sometimes it tickles when you say a word like
"cheesed"
or "shmuck"
and i want to pull you right out of your dirt saturated overalls
and plant a fat one on your cheek
as deep as the roots
of all the goods that you have taught me to plant
May 27, 2014
May 27, 2014 at 1:36 PM UTC
I though about him again today
Or should I say
I never stopped
But this time it wasn't about
His voice
or his mannerisms
Or the way his hands would lead me around
By the small of may back
Today I thought about how I let him get to me
How I wanted to hold on so tight to something that wasn't mine
I considered the facts
analyzed my options and the supporting evidence
Turns out I romanticized you to the point of giving you life
I gave you meaning and depth and soul
I gave you what I wanted you to already have
But you, unfortunately my dear
Have none of that
In bearing all of those things I value so close to my soul,
You have no interest
So I am gathering these up and taking them with me
Never again to dump my treasures so haplessly at some poor shmuck's feet...
To keep them near may mean that some of us are going to live and die alone.
It was unfair of me to expect you to be anything more than a coincidence of mother nature and father time
Feb 5, 2017
Feb 5, 2017 at 5:23 PM UTC
I used to think I knew what to think
Reading too many books and stuffing my opinions
Never having lived them
But then you'd meet me in my basement
And you coyly asked me how my day went
Shyly loving the attention
I'm tired of playing chump
Every time that you hook up
FOMO as God's playing favorites
From my place down in the pavement
I know that nice guys finish last
Chivalry's best left in the past
While you SIMP for all them
I'm a shmuck but a gentleman
I give you my coat
Hold you close
Provide you comfort when you're crying
Let you get drunk
Drive you home
Each time you break up with that guy again
I'd jump out the shower
Just to buy you flowers
When he forgets your birthday, he's no gentleman
You deserved better than him
Since we were 17 we were always such a team
Just like Buffy's Scoobies
or too many John Hughes movies
And over the years when we'd lose touch
I just wasn't friend enough
For both of us to keep up
With all our changing scenes
I hope you don't feel something missing
With your second husband and your children
You don't find a missing laugh
When you cant find that photograph
I was just a place and time
Best left only to my mind when you've forgotten me
The gentleman, your best friend
I'd still give you my coat
Off my back
In the middle of a snowstorm
I don't even know you now
I'd still pick you up when
your car breaks down
Deliver you safe home
From wherever you roam
I'd jump the next flight
If you call and say you need me
No matter how far we may be, I'm still your gentleman
Hug your husband, kiss your kids
You are still a piece of me and until my end
I'm your gentleman
I wish we were still friends
Some cliche about lost time
Another dumb story or bad rhyme
Insert lame joke here, my dear
Darker lines
Less and greyer hair,
Maybe I'm a little more distinguished
I got this far
Because you were there
I took too long to say I still care
I'm soaking towels every hour
to stop my burning bridges
and I am missing you
my friend
Signed, your gentleman
Jun 27, 2024
Jun 27, 2024 at 8:46 PM UTC