.
                       Shop
                till you drop
               Shop till you d
              rop Shop till you
              drop Shop till you
                drop  Shop till
                you drop Shop
                till  you  d rop
                Shop t ill  y ou
                 drop  Shop till
                  you drop Shop
                  till  you   dro p
                  Shop t  il l  you
                  drop  S hop till
                  you d rop Shop  
          till you drop    Shop till you
       drop Shop till y ou drop shop
          till you drop   shop till you
             drop shop     dropshoptil
                  You                 drop.

Cop A Nop
Yop O U
Dop E Cop I Pop Hop E Rop
I-top?

Mop U cop hop
E A Sop I E rop
Top hop A Nop
Yop o u
Top Hop I nop kop

end of life's road
the soul lands
on its own shadow

*

My Da was dying in Nass hospital and I was told to go away for a while so I walked to the little wildlife park nearby which had lots and lots of swans who sat on the benches and wouldn't let humans sit on them. You can just about see on the left hand side of the photo a few about to 'busk' as they believed I was usurping their territory .Then suddenly this gull swept down and followed the line of the road to come full stop in front of me as if confronting me with matters of life and death. I managed to get a photo of it just before it landed on its own shadow.

"Hi!" it said as if talking to humans was neither here not there....I'm the neighbour psychopomp.. I've come to guide your father's soul!" In my great grief a talking gull was neither here nor there as my father's life met its end. "Does it have to be this way?" I asked in my anguish. "It does...." whispered the seagull "...it does."

There is a photo of me and my Da heading off to Sunday mass in our Sunday best. I am holding his hand and so proud that this man is my Da and totally in love with the moment. In mass we will sing Be Thou My Vision and it will be an epiphany. This is the moment I will be remembering when the doc throws us out for a while and I go out to the nearby park. Everything I saw and there was nothing much to see...******* and shadows....joggers and swans and a dog that could not be seen. The dog was in a housing estate a good bit away but his bark was right beside you. A swan was sitting on a park bench and wouldn't let anyone else sit on it. The music leaking from the jogger's headphones and she trundled by me in pink spandex was...The Little Drummer Boy. This in March? When the doc let me back in Da wanted to know everything I had seen down to the littlest detail. He was able to tell me that when a swan goes loco with you...it is called busking. He was always able to tell me such tiny bits of knowledge. Even the shadow on the ***** grass got gulped down by his mind. Only after did I realise that all these details of things he knew he would never see again. They had become precious...even the mud...even the rain. In my mind when he was dying I would sing to him all the songs and hymns I sang with him in all the different Da's he was.

The old Irish version of the hymn says it all for me...

Be thou my father, be I thy son.
Mayst thou be mine, may I be thine.
Rop tussu m'athair, rob mé do mac-su;
rop tussu lem-sa, rob misse lat-su.
Such intense love....an immensity held in these scrappy details of a nothing day.
Be thou my father, be I thy son.
Mayst thou be mine, may I be thine.
Rop tussu m'athair, rob mé do mac-su;
rop tussu lem-sa, rob misse lat-su.

BE THOU MY VISION

He drinks in
my vision

of a world
contained in a matter

of minutes
all that can be seen

in this here
& now.

An ordinary world
of the mundane moment

joggers and *******
running side by side

somewhere the distant barking
of an invisible dog.

Litter being taken
for a walk

by a skittish wind
changing direction on a whim.

A swan
sitting on its own

on a park bench
gazing at the water.

My Da gulps down
each happenstance

each moment
of unimportance

knowing he will never
see such things again.

The ordinary made precious
in the dying light.

Each meagre moment
bereft of beauty.

Soon he will have
the Last Rites

and even this story
will be lost.

But now he listens
almost greedily

as I tell of a shadow
scattered upon the grass

as if it existed in
a dimension of its own.

He can almost taste
the sunlight.

See the wind
hustle the leaves.

How beautiful
is mud?

What a thing
is rain?

How wondrous
a footfall

opening up the silence
flowering into

the ragged breathing
of an obese jogger

her earphones
leaking Christmas music.

A Christmas long gone
that will not come for him again.

Father become child
wanting the again and again

of this fading
“Now.”

Spring in all its glory
shyly approaching

the dying
of his day.

BE THOU MY VISION

He drinks in
my vision

of a world
contained in a matter

of minutes
all that can be seen

in this here
& now.

An ordinary world
of the mundane moment

joggers and *******
running side by side

somewhere the distant barking
of an invisible dog.

Litter being taken
for a walk

by a skittish wind
changing direction on a whim.

A swan
sitting on its own

on a park bench
gazing at the water.

My Da gulps down
each happenstance

each moment
of unimportance

knowing he will never
see such things again.

The ordinary made precious
in the dying light.

Each meagre moment
bereft of beauty.

Soon he will have
the Last Rites

and even this story
will be lost.

But now he listens
almost greedily

as I tell of a shadow
scattered upon the grass

as if it existed in
a dimension of its own.

He can almost taste
the sunlight.

See the wind
hustle the leaves.

How beautiful
is mud?

What a thing
is rain?

How wondrous
a footfall

opening up the silence
flowering into

the ragged breathing
of an obese jogger

her earphones
leaking Christmas music.

A Christmas long gone
that will not come for him again.

Father become child
wanting the again and again

of this fading
“Now.”

Spring in all its glory
shyly approaching

the dying
of his day.



“Be thou my vision
Oh Lord of my heart
Naught be all else to me
Save what thou art.”



There is a photo of me and my Da heading off to Sunday mass in our Sunday best. I am holding his hand and so proud that this man is my Da and totally in love with the moment. In mass  we will sing Be Thou My Vision and it will be an epiphany. This is the moment I will be remembering when the doc throws us out for a while and  I go out to the nearby park. Everything I saw and there was nothing much to see...******* and shadows....joggers and swans and a dog that could not be seen. The dog was in a housing estate a good bit away but his bark was right beside you. A swan was sitting on a park bench and wouldn't let anyone else sit on it. The music leaking from the jogger's headphones and she trundled by me in pink spandex was...The Little Drummer Boy. This in March? When the doc let me back in Da wanted to know everything I had seen down to the littlest detail. He was able to tell me that when a swan goes loco with you...it is called busking. He was always able to tell me such tiny bits of knowledge. Even the shadow on the ***** grass got gulped down by his mind. Only after did I realise that all these details of things he knew he would never see again. They had become precious...even the mud...even the rain. In my mind when he was dying I would sing to him all the songs and hymns I sang with him in all the different Da's he was.

The old Irish version of the hymn says it all for me>

Be thou my father, be I thy son.
Mayst thou be mine, may I be thine.

Rop tussu m'athair, rob mé do mac-su;
rop tussu lem-sa, rob misse lat-su.

Such intense love....an immensity held in these scrappy details of a nothing day.

Be thou my father, be I thy son.
Mayst thou be mine, may I be thine.

Rop tussu m'athair, rob mé do mac-su;
rop tussu lem-sa, rob misse lat-su.

Stå fram, du, som skjules i mørket.
Stå fram inn i verden.
Det kan være uhyggelig;
Det kan være urolig;
Det kan oppvekke gru innafor deg
som du ikke visste var til;
Det kan føles som om jordas lunger
puster deg inn og spytter deg ut;
Men sånt har det alltid vært.

En vismann har sagt før:
Syn uten handling er kun en drøm.
Handling uten syn fordriver tiden.
Syn med handling kan forandre verden.

Reis deg opp; ta på livet, grip tilværelse,
møt folk, snakk språk, drøm sagn,
bygg ting, slå deg ned, få barn,
les, gråt, le, rop, løp, hopp, ta feil, gå deg vill;
så blir ekte tilfredstillelse til.

The fight for territories, freedom, and respect is on.
Sleepless soldiers firing firearms at dawn.
Landmines and hand grenades, smoke screens and flashbangs,
Messing up you're vision and will blow you away.
Snipers on every high cliff and hill,
Dressed to match their surroundings, their attire to ****.
While Ghost Reacon operatives move in silence.
The Navy tries to focus on more tactical violence.

On the battleground there isn't cops and sirens,
Just the thunderous echoes of guns firing.
To change the climate torpedos rain from the sky,
In this weather condition barely anyone can survive.
But after years of fighting they're ready for the finale,
Take over the last enemy base in the valley.
You have won, you raise your flag and rop your guns,
But little do you know the battle has just begun.

What's blue, an round,
an comes in different sizes?

what's grown an a product
sold in the stores?

.......Hidden Message......Answer......

Decode: look at the 1st letter of each word
if its just a letter(vowel) use the letter..

ex: Kop A Lop E Y ...... K a l e y (look at uppercase letters).

bop lop u e , bop e rop rop I e sop....

i have to sometimes be inclined
to allow myself to feel...
dead people leeching onto me...
and this is no seclusion mentality...
given the already printed numbers
and the readily available
population numb numbing numbers...
i am well worn and subsequently
wallowing in: to come, bargain
neon tokyo proof...

James, the Earl of Moray...
and what was "earl" Fassbender...
and this not any other Macbeth...
i am living but given my prior to:
for the dead inclined...
to have to... speak their unwelcome
tongue among the living!
which makes me!

their equal in me being twice
the unwelcome inclined!
my kingdom the shadoqw,
the rust and the dust and bone
and maxim and all that is least
gracious when all, somehow,
spring back to life!
the scythe bore smile within
the glee of the moon come mid!
and all its harvest of constellations!
too dear my love... to heave me baron over
a cousin!

and you to be gladly: towed!
the beard! the beard!
give me a year to admire my own fervent
blush of ****** *****!
before your fabrege "egg"...
scouts! half-boiled... hard-boiled...
soft-boiled...
and all those promises in between!
within this given framework...
each time i feel inclined to cry...
i want to grow most cruel...
the more i cry the more i want to be
cruel...
i want to tease...................

something that does not require
"it' being teased...

thomas cromwell and henry VIII...
elizabeth I and william cecil!
"oops" via tony blaire and alastaire campbell...
doppelgänger "oops"...
but it's not even an "oops"...
herr goebbels: goebbels nicht herr...

can anyone cite the **** doppelgänger
hollywood counter plotline - lineage?!

vorstellen! finden nicht ein doppelgänger!
nein goebbels! aber sie sah...
sogar Gunther von Hagens
ist nein Paul Joseph Goebbels!

i say! the thespian autocracy! primo?!
the actor is above the painter
and all will: bend the knew before this...
lordship of the weakest knee?!

there was a time where:
a macbeth did come before
a hamlet! you *******, porky pie!
but this is no: minding a Freudian couch...
the macbeth comes first...
the hamlet second!

stiff! in my "upper"... "prime"...
the delicacy of being confined...
the thespian autocracy is still forthcoming...
the actors still hold sway over the nunnery
and the priesthood...
otherwise i would "see" the "truth"...
should i be the next to nothing next
dumb plumber with enough
of ****** to marry a woman and make callus
the offspring wishing to
have been: better bred...
or kept in better lineage.;..

a cromwell a cecil... a campbell... a goebbels...
but just one philip augustus...
solo project...
tough on the tooth and limbo jaw..
said: crown the hazelnut!
otherwise... the flag of georgia was
never a universal identification posit
for the young turks and...
when russia would alwahys yawn...
the crusader myth...
the crusader myth: we woz izlam...
and the northern crusades against the prussians,
the lithuanians...
i almost forget that some of us vicinity cracow
barons would treat the masovians
and the capital warsaw as:
not yet incorporated...

until napoleon...
but of course... not since citing the evil empire...
kazakh and what not... turks in new york...
perfectly angry... perfectly: boring and...
Philip's in-on in-oh... does it matter?
there was only this one type of crusades...
into the... Ishlam Ishmael People-Kind sorts
of: the Peoples...
there was never a northern crusade...
the Poles never defended the last pagans of Europe...
the Lithuanians...
no... no! no! NO! that **** never happened!
we woz kurds!
all the ******* time:

me alias bin-baghdadi! all woz iz woz iz!
******* uncle sam...
******* Meghan Mcmarkle!
the blocks and tiramisu needs woz to we'write woz...
coz... trig and: Fishland! bez knowz uz as
Finnishland! sayz auz!

bongo bongo... cowabunga...
seez you better... zzz... pulling this sort of **** in
Wha-wha-usher-in-us-yah!
bongo bongo? no bongo... choke...
st. petersburg'yah?

for all this "misunderstanding"...
the plebs resorted to misuse the plurality
of the pronoun "we"... via them... and they...
one royal resorted to enforced retirement...
which gave me ample time to abuse
the royal pronoun of: one... and the "concrete" we...
i iz pleb... i iz "eastern" U-rop plebz...
not Rotherham plebz iz w and "e"...
"we"... wed to the weeds on a Wednesday...
widowed come a Friday...

any scot or velsh or essex proud is not
plebz... but uz ****** lithuanian...
mid-week ukranian and not quiet russian
or igor gweek...
we'z plebz! bongo bongo: kenya two-point-oh-oh...
best: betz ugh oh oh!
we'z plebz and we drill!
drill yo! yo!

we learn stupidz in the rapidz oh oh!
we emoji and emopticon con hierogylphic oops
a daisy lo! lo!

i don't even know who, or why,
or who "invited"... "us"... i'm never an "us"...
the ****- can speak for a ****-...
the paddy can speak for a paddy...
but i'm hardly going to speak for...
the old ones from cracow would speak...
rather differently when it came
to the masovians and warsaw...
just like the old germans would speak...
much later... when... the prussians
came down with their berlin...
things change...

it would be oh so much more simpler if...
english, a language...
was not supposed to be this medieval
lingua franca...
at this moment in time...
if i really demand myself to care...
this insomnia will ruin me rampant!
i don't want that...
i will not want that...
i will have... what's leftoever.

Close my eyes
See my dreams
Made of my bliss

Nothing is my happiness
From striving
To a n g e r

Sadness was my major
Always so                    Lonely
My eyes don't want to open

Sleep my only token
Pretending I'm as before
But laying here i know

Being alive is a show
I died inside
Yet they want me to believe

I keep going with no relief
I've given up on me long ago
Yet when music plays

Tears d
             rop where i lay
Small glimmer of emotion
Just may still remain after all

l(d

rop
p
e d
t h
e dam

n th ing s
o)a
z
y

D rop
O ff
P oint
P izza's
I n
O ctober

You tell me not to wait when you know I'll never leave
Because you and I is something I really want to believe
Leaving is easy but I don't quit
And somewhere in your mind I think you know it
Attached by a rop I don't want to cut
Staring at a door I don't want to shut
I may wear my heart on my sleeve
You tell me not to wait but you know I'll never leave

you wouldn't might not have guessed it: but there's a pagan music revival happening in Eu-rope-Ah...Ew-rope(?)-ah.. eh-ooh-rop-ah... there's a revival in pagan music: an undercurrent... the people have almost forgotten the "great" composers... not so much "forgot"... but if it has to come between elevator muzak... and nothing... give me an Ottoman burak: even the whole of the west's zenith of culinary ambitions... seems pale... who would have thought... stuffing filo pastry with minced beef... properly spiced... cumin... coriander: to hell with Simon & Garfunkel's Scarborough Fair: parsley, sage, rosemary & thyme... what about BASIL? BASIL is the best... scented candle alternative... loner... no **** readied Sherlock... oi! Holmes! where's your ******* Watson? forget your wallet or what?!

seems... eh... seems such a waste to merely drink
and not allow oneself to trickle onto
some page some dribble: some doodle...
it would be a waste of some cider or some ms. amber
to merely drink...
as Horace might have said
in what was once: conversational-overtones in
poetics... when i had a friend still close to me
from when i was lodged in the fabric of pedagogy:
from those seemingly mythological days:
in school...
we banded up... come the lunch break...
one anglo-saxon... pure fella: by breeding...
Ian...
we played cards...
we were like all the stories franchised
by Hemmingway in: men without women...
i tried... i really tried:
i asked one girl for her photograph
so i could sketch it and give it back to her...
per usual... she just giggled and brushed it aside...
what can a boy do'oh... knead dough for
some time...
we played cards and were oblivious to
all that was boiling beneath us...
oh the tirade... is there a better word
to encapsulate the h'american rebellion
against education?
new venture "capitalists":
they'll sell you coffee-mugs and t-shirts...
how's the outlook on a spanner? on a *****?
a dime for a nail?
my my... if i were paid in nails or peanuts
rather than these transcendental objects
of "currency"... i'd stash as many pebbles
in my might and call it: both a mountain
and a camel's ****!
- the rest of us were nomads...
displaced peoples of the world...
the ******, the Egyptian, the Pakistani...
in an otherwise Irish Catholic school...
- prior to 2004 i was quiet a commodity...
the only ****** known to the locals...
i acquired a taste for Guinness...
i gulped it down: glug glug: came the kosher
sacrificial goat...
now i drink some of the goat milk
and pretend to think: i pretend a lot of things...
it's pasteurized... i can't tell the difference
between a long-life milk from a cow
or what's being sold as: goat's...
now that this is life...
i "think" of an afterlife...
no great plans... oh forget the harem...
i have a insomniac libido as we speak...
i can't keep up with a constant hard-on i'm being
prescribed: no Duracell bunny 'ere...
an eternity closest come: Valhalla...
or a Deutsche drinking house...
were songs are sang...
                      sauf noch ein!
which is stereotypical of a Wend...
                       because the Russians are never
jovial creatures when drinking...
they probably never reach
the tickling sensation from drinking...
Stephen King managed to push out another
novel from his cart of apples...
pity me: i never re(a)d a novel by Stephen King:
i never will... it's not out of higher
literary ambitions...
it's because...
well... i started two books about a year ago:
the posthumous papers of the Pickwick Club
was Charles Dickens' first book?
really? well... no matter... a year later...
it was originally serialised...
- and Knausgaard's vol. 4 of the mein kampf...
if you've read volumes 1 - 3...
it doesn't matter if you stop quarter of
the way into... an autobiography that...
well... it's not Kierkegaard... is it?
imagine my surprise at not being
able to test any maxims of la rochefoucauld:
i suppose all of them are true:
true in as much as they best
be "thought-experimented"
in the stated suggestion of said enterprise...
in...
mannequins? no...
when people leisured themselves
into politics: clocks and... nothing to do with
tabloid journalism to gear up the masses...
- all of a sudden a "what if" drops on me...
my grandfather wasn't a child when he
ushered in the words: herr-bitte-bon-bon...
of the two-schwarz-clad dobbermen
SS-mensch: what if... i was...
not on the "suspect" list
some tier above the Jew and the Gypsy...
what if Hittite Leering Herr... Adoolph...
forgot to put his faith in the Luftwaffe
and the miracle army drug as prescribed by ISIS
(amphetamine) and instead
started to *******: PANZER-GRABEN...

what if: Pearl Harbour never took place...
but it was an honest act of warfare...
collateral precision with Hiroshima and Nagasaki...
it's not fair... it started with Pearl Harbour:
not fair: trans! gay pride! it's not fair!
fair in the theatre of war?
it wasn't fair to use collateral as argument...
soldiers fought soldiers...
i will never romanticize the warrior archetype...
no point... i still preserve myself by cycling:
because i abhor running...

i'll walk a marathon from the river Rom vicinity
to St. Paul's ... sort of hiding
like a timid umbrella of a mushroom's worth...
it's England: apparently "summer":
Simon & Garfunkel...
well... it's hardly the *******:
the Beatles...
can there be a point where
these old *******... just... die?

can i take up a whiff of what they
keep on returning to?
the labyrinth glory of the next to nothing
assorted... PLUM- BER...

- because you're not reading tabloid
journalism...
thank god: i was almost making myselv
suspect
guarding the words:
below the worth of currency...
exfoliate: i might...
tragic i might sound...
but you're still not reading
tabloid journalism: you're reading this...

wait... wait... wait some more...
wait: again...
i want the world to come into
coherency of what's leftover concrete when
i'm: properly mummified:
better... thrown into the elements...
into the fire... twice: once as body: twice
as ash...
against the wind...
where everyone might be *******
against it...
into the sea.... no... into the river...
into the lake: against the hammer
or the mirror...
just above the puddle then...

you might read me before you read
what's leftover in the tabloid press..
there's a cat jigging with r.e.m. twitching...
give me death tomorrow...
i guess i'll be content...

- but concerning the "nomads"...
at least the Hebrews prescribe a motto:
fear God...
oddly enough: Allahu-Akbar...
the Muslims have no notion of a fear...
of God... there's no H. P. Lovecraftian:
a deity with a a head of an octopus...
oh how the Muslims love to joke
the inferiority of the Hindus...
the inferiority of Islam is...
it's inability to stress a fear of their deity...
Muslims don't fear their deity...
they have no scepticism...
sure... readied meat for the slaughter...
not now... in waiting...

by having no fear of their deity...
what can earn this... deity...
respect... from prospective proselytes?!
goat is goad: is gweat!
****-smear... half-way between
proper choccie and somewhat
between copperneck...
cinnamon clad-crew...

last time i checked: Muslims have no fear
of their deity...
obnoxious crazed infancy of monotheism:
that's Islam: for me...
i distrust a people with no fear
of their deity...
why? gobble gobble... down down:
'ere we go...

hey presto! i can tell the Asians apatrt!
like wannabe racists can tell
a Croat from a Serb a ****** from a Russia...
a Czech from a...
Molotov... cocktail: non Fwech...

the face of one Korean gymnast... re(ad))d
like...
i own two cats: thank **** that also don't
own two to pair of: leash... or muzzle...