"oncologist" poems
N. N is for neurologist.
What does the neurologist say?
“Nothing seems to be wrong.
Your net recall seems normal.
You seem to remember most nouns and the news.
Nothing serious,
No need to worry.”
I don’t quite remember driving here.
This is Bethesda, right?
And your name is…?
P. P is for psychologist.
The P. is silent.
So is the psychologist.
I talk and talk.
My energy level is high today,
even though I got no sleep last night.
I want to write a poem and run a partial marathon.
I love people.
People are so beautiful.
“Only connect,” said E.M. Forster.
Am I talking too much?
How does that make me feel?
Just great! Not like yesterday,
when I wanted to jump into the Potomac
from Key Bridge.
P is also for Potomac.
The psychologist speaks.
I need a new pill.
E. E is for endocrinologist.
What does the endocrinologist say?
“Eat. You’re an enigma.
You are losing weight.
We don’t know why.
We’ve checked everything
and can’t find evidence
of enemies in your endocrine system.
Enjoy some eclairs, eggplant, eggs benedict.
Life is short, endulge!
Hopefully not too short.
O. O is for oncologist.
Oh.
Oh oh.
Mar 14, 2019
Mar 14, 2019 at 11:22 AM UTC
Oncologist said that's illness
And it was evolved and hopeless
Hiding and appearing become skilled
The last o'er time before I killed
As flower in desert
Skinny and pale were sign
Pray and cry were habits
Saw the Lord's house so high
My crown is missing
Because I'm struggling
My dream is missing
Because I'm struggling
Put hand in beating heart
Believing God's bell
Put hand in beating heart
And said " all is well"
May 12, 2015
May 12, 2015 at 12:08 PM UTC
Ribbons and bandanas
go hand in hand.
Whenever I see one,
the grief that I've
learned to control
finds a way back in.
They remind me of what
bravery and true fear
really look like.
They remind me of
the sound of buzzing
hair clippers.
And the quiet sobs
from both of us as
our tears fell to the floor,
just like your hair,
that you loved so much.
They remind me of that terrible
oncologist office, that always
smelled like chemicals.
Where I sat with you
as we waited to hear:
" The doctor will see you now."
They remind me of the goodbye,
that hurts me to this day;
When your fight ended,
and the angels took you away.
Whenever I see a ribbon or bandana,
I'm reminded of you.
Life isn't fair, but you were a fighter
all the way through.
Jun 9, 2015
Jun 9, 2015 at 9:51 PM UTC
It’s been a long time since I wrote anything new
actually, been a long time since I thought about writing
which is odd, cause it’s not like I don’t have a lot to write about
I just got over my first cancer scare at 24
lumps don’t have to be big lumps,
and they don’t have to be on any particulate humps
it can be a stump, little more than a bump that you don’t notice
until your finger hurts.
Then you can’t stop being scared.
My doctor calls it a tumor,
the radiologist calls it a tumor,
the surgeon calls it a tumor
the oncologist calls it annoying,
and not to call him again unless it goes malignant.
*******
I just got over a thing I had for a girl I met
she was so, like, me.
Her favorite country in Europe was Germany,
her parents were former military,
she knew what it was like to move 4 times in 7 years
and lose 10 best friends before facebook was even a thing
she loved pizza and was fine with her curves and mine
and when I kissed her I felt happy.
Didn’t get to kiss her after that first night though.
Shouldn’t have spent the night.
I think I ruined the magic,
and I couldn’t get it back.
Then I couldn’t kiss the next girl because she was standing right there
after saying we weren’t there already.
and didn’t want to make her uncomfortable.
but i'm over that now, which sounds like a lie
it doesn't feel like one though
even crushes don't last forever.
Maybe I was too busy to write,
but probably not
maybe I wanted to see how the stories ended before writing
that's makes more sense
but it wasn't until I wrote it down, that I could acknowledge it happened.
and it happened to me.
May 13, 2017
May 13, 2017 at 11:25 AM UTC