Am I happy?
I don't know.
I haven't been for the longest time.
But I think I feel fine.
I feel great!
I don't hate.
The sun is out, and I'm about.
I'm not mentally rushing my day, just so I can go home.
I roam around now because I'm not missing out on something.
The days do feel longer, but I'm enjoying them.
I don't ask myself when I can leave.
I don't greive.
I like seeing my friends, and the joy wont end.
I am happy.
Very, very happy.

im going to live my life and live it up
they are gone but im still here
i wil not wallow
i will not greive
i will celebrate the joys of living
cellebrate the time i have left
for what does wallowing and greiving get you
nothing
so be happy and live you life
be happy and have fun
be happy

Lost in a pool of darkness, A place unknown to me when it comes to you,I struggle to breath I struggle to voice my sadness or my greive, I watch in dispair as we drift apart like two leaves,having grown together on the same branch,now fall from the red autum oak and drift away, propelled by the cold wind of fate. As I look into your eyes I see hatred from where it blooms I cannot explain, we were the best of friends I was your clyde you were my bon bon we swore nothing would come between us,why is this hapning, why do you hate, me but tell me you love me I am confused I cannot bare the tension anymore its tearing me up inside I feel like my heart is being torn apart, I need to know where we went wrong tell me now I need to fix this ,for soon there will be nothing left to fix .

When a soul is ready, it sheds its ghost skin, takes off
its clear feathers like a rain.  The doctors examine

and prescribe to my body, but no one says Greive
until the heart's faulty core, hung in curtains, can be rebuilt.

Nothing they give me fills the hole. Still my mind holds
every dream I had for you.  An entire house prepared.

The tiles on the floor are cold.  The hallway
of the maternity wing is fluorescent and cold.  I am afraid

nothing else will happen.  I won't die of this.  
I'll just go on walking in the numb past, missing you

sitting in the chair by the window, knees curled up,
waiting for that one bird I grew inside to release his song.

The gods do not greive for thier dead
for they know nothing is permanent
not their robes or shrouds or stars or altars or crosses
they will come and go
as light goes into dark
and dark gives into light
for they know from the first step
they take out of the void
and into names and prayers
when they will exhale and fade back into nothing
leaving only vague myths and flimsy fables
behind with their brittle bones
and they have handed down this story
and printed it on every crease and line
of every leaf of every branch of every tree
and left the equation of time and blood
and life and death
in every shed scale
of snake and fish
on every lost hair
of dog and cat and man
and the mystery
is no mystery at all
not really
the answers are questions
and the questions are answers
and nothing is so small
as not to matter
and no matter
has any weight
except for the matters of love
and love is all that is
and all that every was
and all that will every be
the mother of dreams
the robes of death
the keeper of time
the child of life
are all love
made from love
made of love
being nothing less than
being nothing more than
love
as we are all here today
made of love
made for love
made from love
and this is why
the gods do not grieve
for their dead

I kept hush of the trappings of your watered down spirit so their ears would not bear the burning news. The flickers of innocence flashed its teeth as we wrapped our pinkies around eachother for the last time and promised to not let go. Four days after you walked, I laid my soul for eyes to greive upon, for hungry dogs to ravage my remains, slobbering like there wasnt enough on their plate to fill their expanding appetite. I wonder if on the walk back home you saw a daisy and thought of how you let that promise become as spoiled as my remains. I wonder if you plucked it, held it, and said how ravishing it looked, only to leave it with pulled roots.

How did thou waste on one thy soul should scorn
One that hurt thee and mock'd the morn
Lay thy head against my breast,
There I'll lay thee down to rest
Rest from thy world- siren that lure thee to ill
Work with a strong heart and determined will
Bravely fling thy cold chain that hath bound thee
For some good, be it ever so slowly.

Be thou content, as I, to know not see
To feel thy spirit, I would take
Tunes aerial beauty for thy sake
Alas! float into thy soul, so I could see
How to become All melody to thee
Til musics' soul, walked by thy touch, to wing
and mingling with mine would soar and sing
How mine thoughts like singing birds flutter and fly
with a song for thine ear, and a gleam for thine eye.

Love compels me to thy heart against my will
To echo from thy voice, come to me still
Thou to sing loves lullaby to me
Warm heart in thy dwelling, beat kindly for me
So passionately wild this thirst in me
To be all beauty and all grace to thee
My faintest blush, at thoughts of thee a crime
I count in vain the slow dull steps of time,

Careful thee, Lest thy wound a soul so rare
My heart to thee, Please have a care
Smiles can surer wound or heal
than the stars, whose light they steal
In voiceless rapture on thy manly breast
Could thou be lull'd by sweet untroubled rest?
I only greive, because---because---I see
Thou find'st not All thy great demands of me.
Mine a heart that Love Too tenderly and truly
Will break at last, thou prized me unduly
Though missed the beauty, Rare and Dear
Alone thou are, Alone I am, but forever Near!!!

Don't give me greive I never had
Don't give me joy I don't need
I'd like to earn it all myself,if your soul doesn't mind.
Don't give me light to brighten my way,
Don't give me shadows to darken my day
Don't give me stars to shine so far,
Don't give me flowers that smell so sweet,
I'd like to do it all,
If your soul doesn't mind.
Don't give me your love if I don't deserve it,
Don't give me your hate if my pride didnt earn it,
Don't give my leaves to pick up and rules to set down,
I'd like my own free will,
If your soul doesn't mind.
If your soul doesn't mind,I'd like to be free,
Not trapped in cages with people like me.
I'd like to be a bird,don't give me your wings,
I'll gain them on my own,if your soul doesn't mind.

You may feel
Sad
And want to
Cry

But it wasn't yours
you have no right

If they choose
to not greive

you cant judge
for it was some

others loss

Greif has
Clawed at my insides
for many years now
Greif like a river
I could choose to tear at the shoreline as the current dragged me
Or I could surrender into unknown currents
Allow it to take me
And so I fell in
And it brought me on quite the journey
I was broken open
I let go of who I was
And I grieved who I was before
And I grieved
Like a river song
Which needed to journey
With no inhibitions
No ego games
No fear for being
Raw
I feel that greif will always be with me
An old friend waiting silently at the gate
I've learned
It has just been a journey of love all along
love and greif
Are of the same source
They are of the same river
To greive is to love
To love is to grieve
A deep bow to those
Who have allowed greif and love
to etch itself into you, to dance
Through you
Reminding me at a time when I needed it that I am allowed to be
That I am safe to surrender.