Wise scarecrow with
Awareness both harrowing and
fallowing, wisdom and knowledge.

Straw in glove you stand in a field
straw man, scarer, protecter of the
unseen world, and fields.

Kuebiko (崩え彦 "disabled prince")
you have no legs to roam,stood out in the wet and cold.
You and I Mr scarecrow are alike, no working legs.

Afflicted ******,our minds still know
Impaired we are a pair of straw myths
Because he stands all day outdoors, he knows everything
Because I sit all day indoors, I know time.

I'm afraid to think
I am only moments from a time,
where the luster in your eyes and
the tilt on your smile
are confined to the degrading
depreciating nature of my mind.
I want to remember you in
all your brilliance,
in all your defiance
in your broken
ragged resilience
I have spent a life time
fallowing
lost notions
misconceptions at the notion that
morality doesn’t come in color,
you are the brightest quilt,
the most colorful humor,
you are a humid summer,
you lovely woman
my father’s mother.
I will hold you tenderly in
my wilting memories.

Each day passing by in a wild-eyed dash
In truth my soul fell aside, but bluer birds still doth call
Missed that cardinal harken when I set down my last two cents
Kickers of tricks, scroll-ers of myth, bottlers of ships
Knew it all along, just couldn’t stiff the rest
Refuse to capitol, refuge atop the pious politic that steeps these hills
Is it not hard to tell? The meanings of what buys in bulk
The people is we, of what sells slicker than plot itself
A minority rule, hid reasons from majority fooled

That is working trade class, taught to chain drive
The gleaming sheen glowing green, crowning jewel¬¬¬ is as mist and steam, fleeting as the wash of this worlds seething seas
We, the misanthrope of being, bloom in the warmth of idea
Only to recede at the water mark high of each our lives

Authenticity bless the distant time, costless venture to each about die, salute through another caesars’ dilated eye a definition
Eons in annunciation; immortality flashing by
Reverence cannot lie, not long at least neathe a chipping patina
Gold leafed by the hand of man, coerced creations’ fondling finger tips strips thin, leaving us then to watch the weathering

Not a one may ever remember for too quickly or too timely
Arrives dismemberment, a cyclic certainty, often relegated falsely
As loss or gain, truly misspoken frames for reference
At any given attempt to render the language of tongues, oh speaker the son of the morning shamelessly ****** by predecessors increasingly lavish

Phonemic savage; life running rabid, splicing love over the atom
The simple one whom tends a patch of what he calls “cabbage”
Knowing always the wordless truth that is his field fallowing
Unconvinced by everyone, save himself if nothing else
Penitent candor dangle, frameless wonder can you hear the thunder?

Hey*  you
That’s all that needs to be said as his hand explores my face
As he climbs into my bed
And whispers all my worries in comforting kiss
Kills my heartache in the simplest kinds of bliss
He lent me persistence in physical presence
And provided sanity soft as his lips
Dripping with sincerity echoing
In all the silence preceding and fallowing
His simple statement,
Hey  you
Colliding with my emotional dissonance
His caring limitless intentions
Scandalous and seaming compellingly  guiltless
Pulling me close and killing the lonely
So much, he shows me in utter darkness
And he says so much in such simple utterance.

I ventured deep in to the mysteries of mother forest alone,
when I was free from fears of every kind and sweet delusions,
ancient trees recognized me instantly, from some other life past,
and sung me songs when I sat exhausted,their fruits tasted sweet
made me realize how aftermath of every karma returns to one
at a time unexpected; fruits either sweet or bitter they bring.

Under the shades, of trees,hearing the  lullabies they sung
I slept forgetting the wars won or lost in the past, immaterial
all that now seemed
                                Those trees in their love reminded my mother.
I didn't care when I lost the path,in fact, is there a path in the forest?
All paths lead to one destination, there isn't any other,nothing to worry.

Forest with her thousand hands embraced me and said:
"Every king one day, has to take his heavy crown from his head
put down and walk this path wearing dress made of leaves"

There weren't any footsteps fallowing me here, I didn't expect any.

The laws of average ironically most follow this/
the old adage/
the mundane norm regular basic/ conform original most are not/they're just tracing out line to a knot/
complying to a form I'm not
well done be in rare form/
I need a piece of peace belief/transform scorn to scorching
with out endorsement
become unique/
the laws of average face it
most chase this/
in tune with the masses
fallowing the stringed carrot/
a bunch of jack assess/
when you have the capability to grab it/
become a savage
for your goals instead it's tragic/
you break every other law except the law of average/
why?
you wanna be cool?/
susceptible to the oooo's/
out here making a spectacle for whom?/
Confused skeptical to who/
we choose
to love but we hate
Consumed/
so we follow
innate
Is not what we do/
Relate? I didn't think so
******  I've had it/
Not for the faint of heart
This is a state of art
An escape artist
To escape the madness/
Everyone else is doing it
So I'm asking/
In this state of passion/
do you still want to
follow the laws of average?

I have a bruise to mark each memory
faded experiences, my tie-died vessels heal
hurriedly as a huddled leaf chasing a stream.

I have a bruise to mark moving
hip-forward, greeting our kitchen counter
first thing after threshold.

I have a bruise from stubbornness
we wrestled like chimps, my head
finding first impressions with tacky tiles,
your floor. You won our primitive match.

A bruise to mark the midnight hike,
I fell into the chaparral.
One to many beers, and a spin-tingling
fear of fallowing you up the mountain.
I slapped you for leaving me behind.

I have a bruise to mark our night,
when anger awoke arousal
Your thumb, your teeth, the main
suspects to my man made splotch.
A shower stinging stain trickled itself away
A fleshy fading peace sign.

I have a bruise from your discovery.
In a constructed pile of soil
You laid me down too *****
Stripping me of theatrical ties, temporary faces.
I willingly wove the canvas, for you
brave adventurer uncovered bruises.
The maps you didn't mark,
blacks and Blues you didn't write.
Paints that I lose so frequently,
like a child in a department store
that I can't forget my human fear,
Being Found.

But though you paint me purple,
break my veins like glow sticks,
leave me in the dark, and wrestle me
like a man,
You heal Me,
like rain to the grasses.
To feel again.

You crumpled contracted walls
surrounding my ability in
obtaining adventure, and your
Happy Bruises.

Amazement taking
a human form
and performing for hours;
it wasn't anything less.

How the pianist does this
is beyond the grasp of mind,
owes her very much
for the deep cleansing
of our souls, but there isn't
a way to pay the pianist.

Don't know how much is enough
in material terms, whatever
will be not enough.
It's worth a few lifetimes
of deep healing, I guess,
This adventure crossing
boundaries of every kind
with ease humbles us,
eyes fill, streams of tears
just don't stop.


Fallowing her trail
we reached a clearing
in the tangled dark forest,
experienced a glimpse
of what is beyond:

immense ocean
of music
merging in
the dense sweet
dreamy silence

Promise not to fade from my eyes
Promise not to fall to the hands of defeat
You're all I need
You're all I have
You're all I am
I stand here battered and broken
My feet tethered in this hell
My demons clawing at my skin
I'm grasping for your hand
Don't you say I've given in
I'm holding to this broken heart
As I watch you fading away
You're letting go
You're giving in
You no longer see me here
You're fading into darkness
All the while I'm chained to you
Our hearts are set in sync
Our bond written in blood
You're bringing about your death
And I'm fallowing all the while

I am a collective of a most  considerate refusal
yelled at 110 decibels like a masseuse gone wild
on top of you jumping try yen to loosen
post or pre menstrual cramping
manipulating selective preemptive
decepting what I mean and what I does
fallowing the child  run or a boar's rut
into your gut
falsify credentials act tough when I get caught
bust a nut every 9 months
into the air usually,
**** can  seams of truth dreamy means
****** . ha

My perception is damaged,
With a Rationalized mind,
Only becomes a muse for
the confused.
Watching Scattered thoughts
and blind actions.
Analyzing  the holes I've created
in my young tarnished soul.
Only to find Locked up dirt covered demons,
And  broken prosperous dreams
reside in me.
Down by the river remorse their
rests marked tombstones,
that badly read,
                         "Rest In peace,
                               ******
                    You witty mother fker!"
Its been Personally Witnessed only in silent reflections that heart stopping decisions took me in this direction.
Realizing I'm only fallowing tail lights, that is traveling down the wrong rode. " mark of the beast"route  666

my last love held his gun to his head
So sweet so kind
The gun was not
Sharp trigger it went right through

Nine month old with a soon to be ex wife
My friend liked to drink
He fell down the stairs
              bled out
Alone and passed out

Under the bridge a man hit the ground
Off the side onto the rails
I watched him jump
His shoes popped off

my guardian angel
we all have one right
Mine walk with a black mist
She wears all black
Dragging the sickle, fallowing me closely
I was told she watches over you
to protect and guild
My angel is death
She keeps me still and silent
She watches and reminds
She’s not far off

Summer, Baby girl I said we need to talk. That is the last thing I ever got to say to you. I wish I could say what I need to to your face. That you where not so scared to face me. That you could hear my voice one last time. I feel I deserve that. To be able to say good bye one last time, to be able to know you one last time and hear your voice, But you refuse. I am to let go but never be able to say good bye the right way... But you wont so this will have to do. There are so many things Summer. So many things unsaid. So many things never done. So many dreams left unfulfilled. I wanted so bad to hold you and feel you in my arms, to dance with you and to be able to look in your eyes with mine, No glass wall no screen. To be able to walk hand in hand with you and be able to tell you I love you with out having to be so far away. I wanted to make you smile and bring you flowers and be able to see you blush and giggle and be able to rest my hands on your cheeks and feel the warmth. I wanted to show you what was inside of me. I wanted to prove to you how much I love you. So many things left not done. Another thing I really wish.. I wish I could have shown your family who and what I really am. The man you know I am and not the lies they where told. I am not a monster I know this. I thought I was. Hideous unwanted ugly and abandoned. You showed me that I was not and even tho you hide from me I know its not because of that. I am not the monster. I am just a person with a heart who fell in love with some one else. I did not choose it nor did you. It just happened, Our hearts touched and we made a connection. I know you where young and you still are in many ways. The things I ask you are not ready for. Its not fair to either of us. I wish they could see that. I know I say I dont care what people think of me and that I could not care less  if they don't like me but honestly that was a lie. I do care. I care because they have been taking care of some one I care about very much I wanted to prove to them I was not what they where told. I wanted to thank them for giving you life and making you so wonderful. I wanted them to know how I have always been there for you when you cried and how I always told you how beautiful and amazing you are. I wanted them to see you happy and know that every day I try my very best to make you that way. I am not the monster in this story. They pulled you away from me to try and make sure you where safe but honestly.. I dont blame them, I just wish that if they had an issue they would take the time to know me because they don't realize them and I are on the same side. I wonder what they would say if they new all the little things I know. All the times I saved you and you saved me. I wonder if they ever thought about why you have that tattoo on your wrist and if they figured it out that it is about those darkest days how we would sit there and your demons would try and bring you down and we would fight them together. You and me, we survived together. I know your not going to forget me, or those days. The things we got through. I know when you look at that tattoo you will think of the wolf who was there in the shadows helping you find your way through the dark. I am proud of you baby, I really am. I am proud of us and the things we got through. I do not care what any one else says.. it was worth it even if this story has to come to a close we made it in the end. You are stronger then you know and you are right you don't need me any more. Please be proud of your past. Please learn from it and realize you are stronger now. And when you are old and grey and you look down at those scars that have faded and the mark on your skin remember at on point in your life that you where loved, even if I am dead and gone you have been loved unconditionally fully and wholly. I could never hate you, I could never not want you. I will never slam that door shut. Even if you are sitting there and trying to rip pages out of the book of your life I will never do that to mine. I am happy when I think back to the five years we have spent as best friends and the 2  years we spent as more. I will read back and think of you. The beautiful amazing girl with the blue eyes who showed me how to let my anger go. I will never forget the little fox who would not run even when every one else wanted to or those who wanted me in a cage. You came to me and curled up in my fur, This black blood stained wolf and showed   him he was a good and pure silver underneath. How could I ever let go of all those happy memories.  But this is now and you you want to let go, you want to stop hurting for me. Today I write this is at midnight of our 2 year, The same day it all started.. some thing poetic in that and tragic thought. Knowing I am there is making this hard for you. I am not trying to breath down your neck I am not trying to hurt you. I am simply wanting to destroy the last scrap of what ever it is that is left. You know just as well as I that even if I stop fallowing and I will still be there. The wolf, in the shadows and maybe more importantly the man who had a place in your heart. You will always have a place in mine Summer and if you still want to have a place in my life I will always be here. I am sorry I make you hurt but there are so many things I wish I could say, like how the idea of all the things I gave you going in the trash makes me break down crying or how my life is changing for the better even with you gone or how it frightens me the idea of the rest of my life with out the one who called me her soul mate. So many things still.. But know this.. I do love you baby, forever and for always some where in the dreams there is a little fox and a wolf with a scar on one eye playing and loving each other. I am not trying to fight, I have done as you ask and done my best not to msg you. I am not trying to fight for you I am simply enduring being with out you, this feeling of being only half. I put the things up online because they make me happy when I remember you. I am not fighting, I am simply enduring. It hurts not to speak, to be silent but I do it for you. Because I love you. Because it is what you ask. I will always love you and care about you. So be proud and be strong and if you ever need me I will be there.

Your wolf forever
Daniel

Everyone will say I have lost my way,
They all just haven't seen I've begun to sway.

They all say I'm going the wrong way,
But just don't understand what I say.

I've gone,
I've seen,

This is the way I want to be,
This is the happiness I've searched for,
This way it's for me,
I will not stand on your shore,
But I will see that this is happy,
I'm happy and though you say it's a mistake,
I'm not fallowing your advice,
Done dissipointing,
Done being counted on,
I'm done trying to please

You make yourself up into something you'll never be ,
Take off the disguise or that's all you'll ever see,
Let me just be me Let society take me for what I am ,
This was a stand I took befor it was popular ..
Before everybody desired to be something their not ,
No one will take your spot in the line to the carbon factory
Their just as Eger as you are ,
They don't enjoy being different. ,
They must be the same Like clones trying to one up the other .
We waste our time fallowing the leader ,
So long that we've forgotten who the leader even was,
Give society a rain check and just be you
Dont lose track of who you really are.

Once upon a time, in a land of shadows. There was a wolf born to a cave. His heart was good and pure. His eyes burned blue and bright. His name was Ranger. But Ranger did not choose his pack. His family. He was born to a Mother and Father wolf who had very little, the land of shadows had not been kind to them. For he would have had five brothers and sisters. But sadly all but the oldest was slain. Cut down before there time.

So as this young silver wolf was playing in the shadows and looking for things to fill his day his parents where teaching him to fight. Training his hard for the life he would endure. The woods where no place for a kind hearten wolf. Day after day they pushed him to be harder. His fangs growing sharper with every passing day. His other siblings struck down. When he asked why. All he was ever told was this is the way of the world son, You fight to live or you roll over and die.

Long did this time pass and he had grown to be a beast. I hardened scared wolf, fur black with blood stains. He was a monster like no other. Merciless he hunted alone, Never needed any one or any thing. He felt only rage and contempt at the world. For all the pain in him. All the hate he had felt. He was a wolf with a heart of stone

One day well travailing in the darkest part of the woods he would hear crying, whimpering in pain. Slowly keeping to the shadows he would see a young fox. Her body cough up in thorns. Slipping closer he investigated. He turned to the shadows and thought about simple walking away. But that cry that whimper, he turned back to see her. Tears rolled down her cheeks. Her eyes big and blue sparkled helplessly in the shadows. Slowly he stepped closer, and dug in to the vines of thorns and freed the little fox and expecting her to run away in horror. How did you end up here he would ask her and to his surprise he she told him she was hiding from her family that had hurt her so bad. So laying down in the soft earth he wrapped her in his tail and gently licked her wounds.

When day came he found her again in the place she was last night, softly wagging her tail waiting for him. Fallowing him she would smile and hide under him and playfully jump on his back. Then as the sun rose she would scamper off to the field where she was from and every night she would find him. This powerful and deadly wolf.

Day by day and night by night she warmed his stone heart. Made it burn so bright and pure. His black blood stained fur became a bright silver as he stopped fighting. His deep red eyes burned blue. His heart had been saved and his soul little bit by little bit became hers.

Years past and there nights became routine but never dull. He would smile seeing her and would hold her so close. As the years went by he would notice she was no longer a little pup. She was an adult now. Sly and stong and fast. But her family knew of him. The stink of this wolf was all over her. They raced in to the woods finding him they ripped in to him. They dragged her away from him  as she cried out I Love Him. But they did not care. They knew wolves where not to be trusted and even tho his fur was silver, purged over the years of his cruel ways. The smell of blood lingered on him. Harder and harder they attacked him until she ran off. Under cover of moon light. Her eyes dripping with tears. Her heart heavy in sorrow. How could she watch as the family she loved worked hard to destroy the one who stood with her and kept her safe.

She ran and ran and ran. And even tho she is gone she can still hear him at nights howling at the moon. Howling for the love he lost and the pain he had felt. For he loved her as well and no matter how far away they are they will never forget those dark places that where there home.

I love you

The mirror haunts my very soul
Fallowing my eyes as it goes
I look and stumble into hate
But what blindness can be compared to fate
Whoever has come to hate
The grotesque image that they seek
I for one am afraid to peak
Yes the mirror haunts my very soul
And none can offer any sweet console

So many new things
Mostly beautiful
Some not so much
Still everything has changed my life
But one thing stands out more than the rest
Something I have never had before
Like a new support
Making me feel stronger
Blowing like the wind
Cold and strong
Putting out the fire
Removing the pain that had once covered my heart
Breaking down the walls,
that once protected it
But wanting to open up
Reaching into the darkness
and taking the soothing hand
knowing that good lies on the other end
Wanting to give in and let it all be okay
But so scared that with a single slip up
it will all go away
Pulling back
Staying in between the layers of strength and comfort
and familiarity of darkness and hiding
The fire causing more pain on some days then on others
Some days I reach out and take the hand
not quit fallowing but excepting the fact
I have a choice
Other days I curl up in the darkness
Feeling the burn more inside
Melting my heart like a candle
But instead of it falling into the darkness and disappearing
Something catches it
Holding it
Molding it into something
Something new
Something better
Something stronger
Looking up
it;s not just an outstretched hand anymore
A person
reaching out
Pulling me to my feet
Pulling me out of the darkness
Pulling me into a hug
Into a new place
A happier place
A feeling I've never felt before
The love of a dad
So strong
So patient
So much more then I could ever ask for.