Fast was my pace.
My pace called life.
with a shown Mixture of hevan,
From a self made hell.
A Godess wave, that kept me well.
Numbed true feelings of
pain by trading my worth.
Such thoughts created
only in a tarnished youth.
Vibrations of glass
after her warm wave swept
head to toe.
Aspirations cut out with a ***** swoe.
Was Spun like a Clock
on a cooks trailer door.
Days to nights where
just black and white blurs.
Lost reality I
never quite grasped.
only known in short blinks of my eyes.
A fairy tale.
Another hole riddled my cheese cloth vains.
A Godess hand,
caressed my face tuning it blue.
Another Over Dose
to end a neopolitine junkies tale that should have been through.
But a Gardian
NarCaned me back.
when I must have let go.
Punctured blow to the chest to release her grip.
Awake to mumble im fine.
Just to get slapped back down with truth.
The Time had come
to bring change.
To the fast pace,
The fast pace I called life.
from a familiar gutter.
Lived more lives train hoping
then the normal man could ever.
Punk Rocked the free world and
If you looked close "Live free" was blasted on his knuckles.
Didn't give two ***** if anyone chuckled!
He Traveled the world to
open his eyes.
Found happiness on concrete or trees wrapped in blue sky's.
A decision he made
found old fun,
it was Life threatening,
a loaded gun.
It ended his life
and I wish fate could be undone.
A life cut short hurts everyone.
So my heart goes out to all his loved ones still in shock who just want to turn back the ******* clock.
Rusted spoon on the palm.
Reused rig in a flexed bend.
Eyes sealed as the body rides the waves to numb.
Exploring in a black hole until the E.M.T.s Narcan the rested soul.
Awake to find friends crying as
Swin want answers, doctors question suicide and loved ones just want to know why.
Unofficial discharged on my Lambor-feeties
No shoes, no shirt and a ten dollar cab, get me back to my own hell.
Seeking redemption in the shadows.
Flaunting forgiveness under street lights grown from a concrete jungle.
Fall on my knees muttering to deaf ears.
Searching for a kind soul to listen and share.
A comforting piece of mind while letting my insanity go ramped.
I took back self created anguish holding onto a 40oz of malted sorrows.
Slowly pouring into the misguided gutter that flows along life.
Suppressed only in limitations put forth by another chewing on my heart.
Feeding my empty soul bites
Echo's back in regurgitated hate only followed in silence.
Cold sweats and vivid dreams take over the mind.
As Illusions of a fix breaks my inhibitions.
Numbs my caged demons.
Into the depths I sink only to gasp for another life bettering breath.
I just want to go back.
Back to a time of innocence and the honest laughter..
Longing for her warm heart to beat next to my mine.
Wishing for her happiness to just come home.
If she goes out again.
I just cant go.
down that road hope she's ok.
Dark thoughts scare and brings me to insanity.
she won't start off small she'll just pick up where she left off.
I'm Wishing for happiness to just be ok.
a Survivor with a Second chance not a wasted soul laying in the gutter.
Maybe letting go will forever be a challenge.
An addict for life, with to a word of temptations.
All i Want is to be seen without my past maybe just on my merit.
Really can't forget what i have seen in my using life. Im seen Intimidating to most, like a grizzly bear that stands six foot four.
I can only forgive because there is to much pain in holding onto anger.
Will always help those that surround me.
Chosen friends are usually seen as my real family.
Brought back to life multiple times only because I am loved.
Won't judge another even if its socially acceptable. In my eyes its just unforgivable..
Selfless user that always got used for a honest heart...that won't go out and use again...
Black and white consumed my integrity.
Would snack on my conscious prosperity.
Feeding off of the guilt that was trying to be hidden.
Playing awful games that ended in self inflicted corruption..
Being open minded has only been an advantage.
Self loathing and hatred fill my 40oz of malted sorrows.
Let it flow down the misguided gutter called my life..