We went down in history.
Best worst couple alive.
We deserved an award.
Tiger striped pajamas
And a SLIGHTY
Illegal pengin drawn on the side of a building.
Made by a painter
More worthy than van gough.
Goodbye.
And I say that with no hatred.
Goodbye.
We had a good run.
As you said,
You and I,
Were never meant to be.
What was it?
5 times?
7?
To be honest I’d lost count.
So goodbye.
Im not washing all those campfire songs and broken bucket memories
down the drain.
I’m simply storing them in a box that has your name.
A box vacumed air tight,
So that I can never need another band-aid
With a green crayon on it.
That box will be sealed,
But only opened in short filtered bursts
Just to remind myself,
You were here.
To remind myself of a first kiss,
A first wish,
And somehow we ended up watching the avengers?
Don't ask me,
Because I was too busy looking at you,
To take even a second watching the movie.
Which you were fine with,
Because you hated
Superheroes.
Which Ill never understand,
Because your sister and brother
Look at you,
Seeing nothing but a driven
Well thought out
Superhero.
For a while there,
You were my superhero too.
You managed to get me out of a tree,
Which I have now learned,
Are not to climbed
When you have a fear of heights.
Im not sure how,
But even in the middle of the night
With a blood moon clouding most of the light,
And a bunch of your friends talking about the latest gossip
You got me down from a tree
That I had decided to climb,
Just to see see the moon better.
I had climbed
To where the branches swayed in the wind
And to where tall girls with 110 pounds on their body
Were definitely,
Not designed to be.
Once down,
After what seemed like hours of agony,
It was probably about 3 minutes.
I was scared shitless.
But when everyone left,
We stayed in the grass,
Trying to make our own constelations.
Out of barely visible stars
Shodowed by a red tint,
That drove out every speck of light other than its own.
Thats kind of what you were like.
You drove the life out out of me,
And created a new one.
You locked up who I was in a cage
With the key having been thrown into the nile,
I called it love.
Because you were trying to make me better than I was before.
Someone who fit your lifestyle.
You turned me into a broken record
With so many scratches,
The glossy look of the tracks were barely visible.
But you werent all bad.
You kissed me at a campfire,
Walking back to evening circle
Where we would sing some weird song
About the sun being gone,
And the day being done?
Then we all went to our cabins,
But I was frozen in place.
Because theres no way that was real.
It wouldve meant that my wish,
The way you told me to wish,
Actually worked.
One of my friends had to take my arm and drag me in my daze back to the cabin.
You took me to a golf course
just past the woods,
Because you thought it was closed.
It was not closed.
We learned this when a golfball missed my head by less than an inch,
It was an honest mistake,
But we laughed.
Partily because of the golf ball,
Mainly,
Because that was our luck.
Our luck was having a ball miss my head by an inch,
And a golf course that lacked green grass,
was still open.
Our luck was getting lost,
Because I got distracted by the wildflowers in the woods,
And walked off to make a bouqet for you.
We werent lost,
We were just,
Taking the scenic route I guess.
But we wound back up at the baseball field with built in playground off to the side
just as light decided to dip from view,
And leave the very sliver of a moon
To try and keep us able to see.
That was our luck.
But you had bad luck
And so did I.
We seemed to circle in hurricanes.
A world being thrown about until that quiet little eye.
Before we were thrown back into misfortune,
We were addictive.
When my bad luck met yours,
It was the kind of darkness no one longs for.
This was not the darkness of sleep
Where you could go and be alone.
This darkness was not that.
Our darkness was a silent room that screamed loudly
Hoping to deafen us through our separate walls,
Our darkness was a room that had no doors,
No floors,
And lacked a ceiling.
But there was still no way out. Barbed wire
Higher than our Mount Everest of past,
And even your ego couldn't climb on top of mine to get half way up.
So we sat in opposite corners of our big and screaming rooms,
And waited for the whisper to turn it all off.
My whisper.
My whisper was apologizing and making promises you wouldn't never give me the chance to keep.
Your whisper back
Was an army of paper airplanes with one message.
I forgive you.
For every apology I said
And for every piece of my heart I cut out as a peace offering,
You gave me a paper airplane.
Each with the same intent.
The intent to make the point stab into my skin,
And bleed more poison into my blood,
Without me noticing the scratch.
You distracted me by sitting on a now broken bucket,
And by laughing when I made a joke we both knew wasn't funny.
You distracted me by laying in the grass
Or putting your head in my lap.
And I distracted myself by playing with your changing colored hair,
While pretending this was real.
I wanted it to be real.
For me it was.
It wasn't for you.
But sometimes our difficult rooms separated
And though our rooms no longer screamed at each other
The rooms screamed at occupant of it.
Mine screamed at me,
And your didn't scream but was silent and let you sit with your pain.
My room couldn't do that.
My room tore me apart,
Because all of the shredded pieces would eventually go to you.
And suddenly,
Our rooms connected and a paper plane flew my way.
I let it hit my right cheekbone.
I opended my paper expecting your usual note.
But it was different.
This time your note said no.
I hadn't whispered yet.
But “no” still landed in my lap.
My whisper back was one of confusion.
Another one of the paper airplanes hit my heart,
But the paper was worn out and red.
It wrote,
Not safe for you.
And again I whispered,
This time a pained confusion,
I asked what your paper airplane meant.
This time your paper airplane said:
I'm sorry.
And then,
All of the paper airplanes caught a small fire from their edges and then they were gone.
Even the ashes,
Gone.
I hope you're doing well Tiger. I didn't forget
