Despite proposals along the way,
I never married again,
One was a transvestite, gay,
He did have better lingerie,
I turned him away,
I never saw him again,
I wear menswear, you see,
I would have been Bridezilla in fleece,
I guess that would have been a release,
Married in fleece, beyond belief...........

I must tell you of when Bridezilla came
But beg, please repeat not of this true tale
She had a dream, anyone she would maim
If they stood between her white fairytale
A gasp, a screech, her eyes went wide as wells
A maid’s bouquet lost, bride began to melt
Her skin flushed red, her eyes could only swell
A lovely wedding still be born, maids felt
She barked for them to leave the room at once
Hushed whispers rose throughout the dainty church
Such small matters could cause her to denounce
Finally, the bride at last emerged
Of course, the union came to be, oh yes
But not before creating undue stress

i believe in a thing called love,

in toxic oxytocin tears and

jagged daggers of emotions

that hit hard and quick and deep

leaving lovers dazed and aroused

on kitchen tiles and sticky dance floors.

i do believe in love, i do,

in blood filled love potions

you put so much of yourself into it

that she just has to love you

she has to, she must,

and she does, she does,

ugly crying but ****,

for you, all for you,

please just hold on

she pleads -

mucus filled tears cascading down her face,

*******,

thighs,

pooling on the floor,

making the doctors both cringe with disgust and

simultaneously lean forward with interest

swaying in non-existent breeze -

and you die with your first kiss in your fist

and a piebald smile that splinters her inside forever

but i guess that isn't your fault, right?

i do believe in love, i do, i do,

in unfettered devotions

in ****-that-guy,

the quality relationship improvement show,

because you want to be a lover

but the guy ain't right

so just make him up

and use a real guy as his outside

you love him sanded, smoothed, buffed, painted

with rims and an inexplicable 48 inch lcd screen

you'll officially get hitched but don't cry

divorce is common and either way it doesn't matter

just look pretty and make sure to squint.

i do believe love, i do

i believe in

poisoning yourself for Juliet

rather than taking her pulse

to taking dear John's heart and

jumping on it happily

because you love him sooooo much

but like, the world has conspired against you,

not with guns and bombs and videotape

but with, like, freely made decisions,

peer pressure and jagermeister  

his blood makes pretty patterns on your

milk white thighs and i guess that

he sticks around for the show

oh boy, i believe in love, i do, that

6 and 9 aren't meant to be together

they just fit, that

there's no place for 'pure' in love cos it's all

pain and *** and spit

as for 'star crossed lovers'

the stars are always crossed

else eclipses would be boring and

each lost lover on a course

i do believe in love, i do,

in the sweetheart who lispes

licking earlobes and bottom lip biting

of metal snakes, happy fates

and piscean traits,

exuding high fructose glucose syrup

instead of saliva

so kiss them carefully or you'll

sugar high and sugar low

and sugar crash and burn

with every cosmic turn and

oh, i believe in love, lovers, oh i do, i do,

in the swirls of black and white that

play ying and yang

that kiss and grate and fornicate

forming a pasty grey

declaring that their grey is the

greyest, greatest, gayest grey

i do believe in love, i do,

bridezilla has destroyed new york in the

quest for the perfect dress as

otherwise her,

sorry,

their,

day will be ruined

milan and paris are shaking in their loius vuittons

praying they will be passed over

oh anna wintour,

just one more working day

please let the cake be next on it's list,

deliver us, oh lagerfeld, from

polyester blend shrouds in hideous off white,

amen.

but yeah,

i do believe in love, i do,

in philosophers that never tire

who'll be debating whether

kpattz, robsten, or my name for it,

sorry, them,

pattenwart,

really love each other

or are merely feeding off the media **** storm

to soothe their fragile bodies

and appease their shiny deities.

so yeah, i know what it involves

every ingredient labelled and shelved

sampled and sicked up and

given 5 star reviews on amazon

with words of advice

and i do believe in love.

i do.

oh, i do

so friends,

hold out your bleeding hearts

apply some anti-skeptic

your wounds will heal in 30 days

give or take a century.

You may think you’ve heard it all when it comes to wedding planning. But while everyone from your mother to your hairstylist is busy babbling on and on and on about what to expect on your big day, they’re unintentionally leaving out a few crucial details. So from the reality of post-wedding blues to the dangers of being too nice a bride, eight real women are here to share what they wish they had been told about their big days—so that you can benefit their candor, of course.

1. There’s such as thing as being too nice a bride. Says real bride Danielle, “Everyone hears about bridezilla, but what you don't hear about are the brides who get everything taken away from them because they're too nice. I was way too nice about my bridesmaids getting things done—and boy did it cause a lot of stress. My advice? Be firm with dates and express your concern if someone is slacking.”


2. You'll be pressured by others’ expectations. Real bride Jordon says, “Nobody told me how many ‘rules’ there are in the wedding industry. They tell you to create something that matches exactly what you want as a couple, but once you start to do the research, you learn how many expectations there are. For example, I can't tell you how many people think it's outrageous that we may not register, or that we're not interested in a bouquet throw.”

3. Someone will cancel last minute. Says real bride Veronica, “Someone will have a conflict and have to cancel a week—or less—before the big day. Yes, it ***** and is super annoying because your seating arrangements are finalized, but no one will notice if their table is missing two people. There's no point giving yourself a bigger headache of rearranging seating at this point—just let it go!”

4. It’s all worth it in the end. Real bride Sara says, “The one thing that no one told me was how much the stress, time, and money would all be worth it in the end. All I heard were negative points—and while those feelings of stress and pressure can't be escaped, there were so many good things that far overshadowed the bad.”

5. You won’t regret having a wedding video. Says real bride Melissa, “No one ever told me that one of the best purchases we could make was hiring a videographer. Of all the things we 'splurged' on, our videographer was my absolute favorite. There are a lot of things—in hindsight—that we could've gone without, but our videographer was the best investment because we have those memories to keep for a lifetime.”

6. Post-wedding blues are real. Real bride Anne says, “You’ve probably heard about post-wedding blues and completely brushed them off. I wish someone would have told me to take them seriously—because trust me, post-wedding blues are real. After all that excitement, the weeks after your wedding can feel like a let-down.”

7. Your groom will care about something you’ll least expect. Says real bride Cassie, “Everyone sets your expectations really low when it comes to your groom and how much he’ll participate in wedding planning. But what they don’t tell you is that he will care about something—and it’ll probably be the last thing you expect. For example, my now-husband was adamant we have a fondant cake. Who knew?”

8. Don’t expect to actually eat at your wedding. Real bride Jen says, “You won’t eat much of the food you painstakingly picked out. Between your guests—who will constantly want to gab—posing for pictures, and slicing into your cake, you’ll be lucky to get a few measly bites. I wish someone would have told me to eat well through the day—or to ask our caterer to serve us a little sooner.”

read more：www.marieaustralia.com/formal-dresses

http://www.marieaustralia.com

God gave us the stars to shoot for
so we would have ***** other
than our sister or brother
eager to reach the shooting range we slammed the shuttle door
on our captain’s silver crown
in a sea spilling from His ichor
sack punctured by our hubris we drown-
memes and cat videos worth dying for

We set fire to the shuttle
gasp as our air begins to leave
Amazon(s) choose to scuttle
trees land and humans need to breathe
a musk most putrid rises as we cannibalize our space ex
who’s so far gone as to not come back
her zombie bridezilla tirade wrecks  
our plan it removes futures from the trajectory track

God gave us the stars to shoot for
so we reduced our target to soot
we revelled in our high score
not feeling the pain in our shot foot
and the cats still in secret revery dance their funny jig
sardonic wit stuffed still in every blank screen -small or large-
on the skeleton of our ghastly ghost space rig
reduced to rubble by a friendly depth charge.

God gave us the stars to shoot for
it was we who chose to use a gun
we chose to ram through the door
not checking if it was open
God gave us the stars to shoot for
leaving the details for us to decide
rockets to be built to make war or explore
as shuttlecraft for a human slingshot ride
an arching advance into the beauties of
our Creator made for us to enjoy in love
~
NM
08/25/19

God gave us the stars to shoot for
so we would have ***** other
than our sister or brother
eager to reach the shooting range we slammed the shuttle door
on our captain’s silver crown
in a sea spilling from His ichor
sack punctured by our hubris we drown-
memes and cat videos worth dying for

We set fire to the shuttle
gasp as our air begins to leave
Amazon(s) choose to scuttle
trees land and humans need to breathe
a musk most putrid rises as we cannibalize our space ex
who’s so far gone as to not come back
her zombie bridezilla tirade wrecks  
our plan it removes futures from the trajectory track

God gave us the stars to shoot for
so we reduced our target to soot
we revelled in our high score
not feeling the pain in our shot foot
and the cats still in secret revery dance their funny jig
sardonic wit stuffed still in every blank screen -small or large-
on the skeleton of our ghastly ghost space rig
reduced to rubble by a friendly depth charge.

God gave us the stars to shoot for
it was we who chose to use a gun
we chose to ram through the door
not checking if it was open
God gave us the stars to shoot for
leaving the details for us to decide
rockets to be built to make war or explore
as shuttlecraft for a human slingshot ride
an arching advance into the beauties of
our Creator made for us to enjoy in love
~
NM
08/25/19