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the darkest of my fantasies whisper
Your body is a scuba suit
insist i breath with your *******, through your mouth
dive deep into claustrophobic waters, sink heavy to the rock bottom
where we petrify by gorgans gaze
i know we'll turn to stone because, of course, the gorgans can't resist gazing at You
nobody can resist gazing at You, land or sea.
Our permanent legacy, lost under layers of life
barnacles clinging, moss burying Our chimera god/snake skin

i am without Your oxygen
when breathing would terrorize the wind
where words belong
still, my forked tongue writes

i'm a theif to say i only want You to be happy
when i had You, it was still selfish
the revolving doors of pain and perseverance
more time invested in us
then money invested in the Pills that kept me from killing You
out of habit
You begged me to beat You
it's been seven hands dealt
rubbing my 5 o'clock sandpaper chin
on the tarot card of death
my tolerance for vacancy
a brownish red stain
i've only the thin line of medication between necrophilia and sociopathy
i want to lay with You at the bottom of the sea

the Pills... where are...
please no, God.
The Voice,            run!
         get out!


I would gladly go to prison
to **** your lifeless body.

I would gladly **** Myself in the afterglow
of your affection.

there is only one true Sin, Objectification.

I indulge relapse
in every memory, find

your shed snake skin
pull it on, like your *******

how disturbed I've become
with you gone


how selfish of you

of course "I" blames You
when the Pills dull

i indulge by studying Your location

i know where You escape too
i want to go there
does that scare You?

i want to bump into You
apoligise for what i want

"want" as a word
is like plexi-glass, or kevlar

standing between Us
keeping the bullet safe.

i want a hard impact
in a school hallway

where we drop all our
Books and look up and You

see my ghost, that would be enough for Me

i want the impact to hurt.
i want the tumbling of all our Book's
i want the messy hair and ripped knees,
then Our
eyes to meet
and linger
I want to watch the fear fill you.
i want to sit there,
watching.

petrify from parcel tongues
as i gaze at Your gorgon body
shedding skin

if i shed my snakeskin,
maybe i'll see You

i can't leave this Poem
i can't leave this Poem yet
i won't leave this Poem
please kick me out
Poem
Poem
end Me
..
end
.
I
..
Wilbur Feb 2020
My dear, I am sorry for what I have done.
The past continues to haunt my present day actions and feelings, and I feel that has shown time and time again.
I sincerely apoligise for me being so clingy. Clingy enough to make you stay away from me.
I sincerely apoligise for me being so oblivious and idiotic whenever we talk. I often don't realise that you want to drop a certain topic, or that you are generally uncomfortable with whatever situation I put you in.
Please understand that I've never meant to cause you mental anguish, but instead, love and endless support.

I know that, in the end, you doubt most of what I say.
And I wish that I could so something to make that distrust go away.

Maybe someday you'll see the light in between the scenes.
Or perhaps someday the darkness of the scenes will overwhelm us both, and we will no longer have the need to worry.

Please come back soon... I miss you, and I need you here in my arms.

All the love,

Samael
betterdays May 2014
insurmountable
undefatigable yet
sitting lost for words

my friend you are here
beaten broken and alone
your choice created this

your ******  pride made this
clusterfuck happen  again
you need to hop down

off your tall pristine
pedestal of hurt hubris
and apologise till

your stupid tongue bleeds
then apoligise once more
and hope she listens

then spend the lifetime
making sure she knows you love her
more than that stupid.......
overheard (the general jist...the bloke did'nt speak in hiakus) at the pub... never did catch
how he stuffed up.  but it must have been big

— The End —