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Marymay21 Mar 2020
468 days till I'm out of this place
468 days till I graduate
468 days till I'm out of this space
468 days till I escape

This place that brought me rules to follow
This place that brought me expectations to exceed
This place that brought me wishes to fulfill
This place that brought me dreams to give up

This place that consistently tells me that I must act prim and proper
This place that consistently tells me that I must have perfect grades
This place that consistently tells me that I must be involved in activities
This place that consistently tells me that I must stand out

Stand out
Stand out but not in bad way
Let your voice be heard, but don’t speak too loud
Show your curves, but not too much because that degrades you
Be smart, but don’t be nerdy, dorky or quirky

This place that brought me tests every other week
This place that brought me heartaches and headaches
This place that brought me back stabs and betrayal
This place that brought me all nighters to makeup for my lazy group mates

This place that consistently tells me that I must not ***** up
This place that consistently tells me that I must not waste my time
This place that consistently tells me that I must not have too much fun
This place that consistently tells me that I must not have infatuations

Infatuation
Infatuation is just an observation with a cost
Love your friends but don’t get too close
Have hobbies but don’t waste too much time doing them instead of studying
Befriend everyone but not with any guys

This place that brought me tears
This place that brought me fears
This place that brought me cries
This place that brought me lies

But i might miss this

468 days till im going to miss this place
468 days till i graduate
468 days till i miss this space
468 days till i miss this place i underrate

This place that brought me inside jokes and goofy smiles
This place that brought me song lyrics and theater performances
This place that brought me fundraisers and field trips
This place that brought me late night conversations on calls

This place that constantly reassures me that I am not useless
This place that constantly reassures me that I am not what others define me as
This place that constantly reassures me that I am not unworthy of what i tried so hard to achieve
This place that constantly reassures me that I am doing well for someone who’s only seventeen

Seventeen
Seventeen might be too young
Too young but i know what i feel is real
All the nights talking about everything about nothing
The birthday gifts we shower each other with

This place that brought me happiness
This place that brought me those brown eyes and freckles on his smile
This place that brought me boys now we call ex
This place that brought me valuable lessons

This place that constantly reassures me that I don’t need man to be happy
This place that constantly reassures me that I am beautiful no matter what others think
This place that constantly reassures me that I will be alright
This place that constantly reassures me that I will be ready for when I leave

Leave
All we ever talk about is leaving
Run away, as far away from home
Can’t wait to get out, but soon I would look for every excuse to return
Just wanna run away but keep coming back to this place

This place

This place that brought me memories
This place that brought me laughter and joy
This place that brought me friends and love
No other place like this
my submission for a poetry slam <3
I need you
But I'm ugly inside
To forget my scars
Too much I've tried

I want you
But I'm ugly inside
The things I've done
Those things I hide

I desire you
But I'm ugly inside
Too many secrets
All the times I've lied

I see your beauty
But I'm ugly inside
Too scared to speak
Swallowing my pride

I watch you walk away
But I'm ugly inside
You'll never see my tears
All those times I've cried


Copyright Chris  Smith 2014
Babu kandula May 2014
I am been taught by you life
When I cross my limit
You will put me down
And make me feel
I am an ordinary
But sometimes I feel superior
Looking at the people
This is where I am drowning
Never think others are inferiors
Says my inner heart
So help me God
And put me in control
468
i can see u in that way
i can see u in that way
468

The Manner of its Death
When Certain it must die—
’Tis deemed a privilege to choose—
’Twas Major Andre’s Way—

When Choice of Life—is past—
There yet remains a Love
Its little Fate to stipulate—

How small in those who live—

The Miracle to tease
With Bable of the styles—
How “they are Dying mostly—now”—
And Customs at “St. James”!
Erika Soerensen Jan 2015
I found this old, dusty pack of Tarot Cards today that made me think it was A sign.  
Time for another
Personal reading.  

The cards say they were made in Switzerland, but they're written in French with dainty photos of colorful French (or Swiss?) metaphysical past times. They were distributed by:

U.S. GAMES SYSTEMS, Inc.
468 Park Ave South
New York, N.Y. 10016
Copyright 1970.
(Wow!  45 years ago!)

I focused and shuffled the cards. 
My first inquiry was the outcome of Moving back to Seattle,
And, according to the Swiss Gypsy
Who only wrote in French,
My ultimate outcome if I moved back To the Emerald City
Was the card:

L'Amoureux,
Aka The Lovers.  

****.

I then asked another inquiry about my Outcome if I stay in California,
And my ultimate outcome was the card:

La Roue de Fortune
Aka The Wheel of Fortune.

Cha-Ching!

But, wait.
So, basically it all comes down to my choosing between....
Love
OR
Riches....?

THAT'S ******!!!
Diana Nov 2021
Who is someone you have let down in your life?

469. If you could go to any age in your life for a week, what age would you choose? Why?

468. Have you ever regretted meeting someone in your life? Why?

467. Who is a person in your life that you are no longer in contact with, but if you were to think about them enough you would tear up?
->Ben, Itzhel

466. What is a memory you wish you could relive again with one another?

465. Where is a place (restaurant/arcade) you want to try or visit?
->rage room

464. What is the longest time you have chewed gum for?

463. What is the weirdest gum flavor you have ever tried?

462. If you could say anything to someone you no longer talk to anymore, what would it be and why?

461. What is one of the most painful words you have heard your parent day to you?
->maybe you really are sick in the head and need a therapist, you're killing your mother, you've completely changed and I miss the girl you were before...you weren't a burden

460. When you go on vacation, what do you look forward to most? Do you prefer cold or hot weather? Do you like to plan or wing it day by day?

459. What age do you think you would want to live until? What's the perfect age range for you?

458. What do you need to have happened to feel like you have lived a fulfilled life? family, work, travel, love, etc.?

457. What’s a fun memory from Valentine’s Day when you were in elementary school?

456. What’s the coolest or most memorable Mother’s or Father’s Day arts and crafts that you did in elementary school?

455. Have you even grown your own vegetables or fruits? If so, what was it?

454. When was the last time you went to the movies? What movie?

453. Recall the first time you tried pop rocks.

452. As a kid, what was your favorite jolly rancher flavor?

451. Who is someone that you think about from time to time wondering how they are doing since you just drifted away from one another?

450. What is a relationship (romantic, friend) that ended that you're glad ended but still hurts to think about at times?

449. What is a door that closed in your life that you were devastated by at the time but now realize was actually a blessing?

448. Would you say that you lie often?

447. What was the last lie you told? To who? Why?

446. What is your choice of sauce if you order chicken nuggets?

445. How do you like to be supported when you are sad?

444. Face one another, close your eyes, and open your eyes once you’re ready. Once both of you are staring at one another, stare for as long as you can. Then at the end describe what the experience was like.

443. What song reminds you of the other? If there isn’t one, give a song recommendation.

442. Give a compliment to the other that focuses on something you think they do not hear often?  

441. What is a time in your life you would not want to go back to?

440. What is a time in your life that you would go back to?

439. Who is a friend that you miss the way things used to be with them? What changed the dynamic?

438. If you want to get married, what is your ideal age? Why?

437. If given the option, would you be a sugar baby?

436. Who do you think is most likely to live in another country? Would you? Why or why not?

435. What color do you think of when you imagine the other person? Is there a smell, a shape?

434. Who is someone you wish you knew under different circumstances? Why?

433. Overrated, underrated, just right: chocolate chip cookies, bacon, French kisses, forehead kisses, chalk?

432. What is the most intimate thing another person has done to you?

431. What is the most intimate thing another person has said to you?

430. What is the most intimate thing you’ve done to another human?

429. What is the most intimate thing you’ve said to another human?

428. If you’ve been kissed, explain your best kiss and what made it so?

427. Describe a memory that felt like a movie scene?
->my first and second kiss

426. Is there someone in your life you wish you could take their trauma/pain away from? If so who and why (if you feel comfortable naming)?

425. Who is someone who you consider to be precious that isn’t young? Why?

424. Who is your closest friend form the opposite ***? What is it about that that made them get this title?

423. What is the worst pain you have ever felt that wasn’t physical?

422. If you could speak any language in the world, what would it be and why?

421. Who is someone who you think has experienced the greatest amount of pain but hides it "well"? What is a misconception you have of them?

420. What is one of the biggest misconceptions you have of yourself in relation to how you think others view you?

419. Do you think you’re good person? What makes a person “good”? Why it why not?

418. Would you like to be proudest of your accomplishments or your character

417. If you could confront someone who did you ***** in your past and ask *** who would it be and why?

416. What’s the pain in me you’d most like to heal?

415. Have you ever been too scared to admit your growing feelings towards someone? What stopped you?

414. How would you describe falling in love with someone to an 80yo vs a 7yo?

413. What do you tend to think of as you wake up and lay in your bed in the morning?

412. What’s a kink of yours?

411. How has this week went week because of (you) something you said or did?

410. What do you want me to tell you that you feel you can’t say to yourself?

409. What is a movie or book ending that stayed with you?

408. How would you describe the feeling of sunlight and moonlight on your skin?

407. Do you like the sun or moon more?

406. How do you know you’re alive and not just by your ****** functions?

405. What color do you think of when you imagine a unicorn, bird, heart, fear, lollipop?
-> white and light purple, blue, red, black, red

404. What was your last memory from your childhood that you were reminded of recently?

403. Would you be a top or bottom?

402. What kind of shampoo do you use?

401.  How often do you shower?

400. Does assurance work?
-> depends. Sometimes it’s needed to help boost, other times its like a drug you need another hit
-> a behavior or action never happens once

399. What are your unique values that you bring to relationships?
-> thoughtful, kind, wonderful lover, goes out of your way to those you live, loyal, good conversationalist (feed the relationship with your mind)
->Knowing your value won’t change when challenged by the other’s external achievement and you won’t need to be reassured

398. Have you met a person that has challenged your mind intellectually? How many?

397. When was the last time you went to bed hoping that you’d not wake up?

396. Do you ever wonder how you came to be attracted to a physical look? What makes someone attractive to you physically? Is it conditioning? What if our desires were purely constructed for us?

395. When was the last time you felt proud of yourself? What was the context?

394. Who has made you cry the most painful tears in your life?

393. What is something someone struggled with around you and you didn’t know how to help?

392. What are you struggling with?

391. What is something that always makes you angry when you think about it?

390. When was the last time you cried? What was it about? We’re you alone? Did you want someone?

389. What is your favorite and why: earth, fire, water, wind?

388. What is your favorite vegetable?

387. What is your favorite fruit?

386. Do you have someone you would call in the middle of the night for emotional support?

385. When was a time you said I love you and regretted it the most? When was a time you said it and didn’t mean it the most?

384. How many times have you peed in a pool?

383.  How do clams reproduce?

382. What color of you think of when you think of the ocean? Blue, green, or both?
THE COSMIC-AFTERLIFE TENPIN BOWLING TOURNAMENT, PLAYED ON MY IPHONE BOWLING GAME



ROUND 1




GIANT KILLERS                  119     171      123           413            0 WINS 3 LOSSES      O POINTS GAME AND SERIES    TOTAL OF 0 PTS
COSMOS KINGS                 136     185      147           468            3  WINS O LOSSES    6 PTS GAME 3 POINTS SERIES TOTAL OF 9 PTS



ROUGH RATS                      113     151      154           418             2  WINS 1 LOSS         4 PTS GAME 3 PTS SERIES  TOTAL OF 7 PTS
OLD STYLE REBELS           138     134      142           414            1 WIN 2 LOSSES        2 PTS GAME 0 PTS SERIES TOTAL OF 2 PTS




COWBOYS                           142      125     186           453             1 WIN 2 LOSSES        2 PTS GAME 3 PTS SERIES TOTAL OF 5 PTS
RED DEVILS                         168      168       89           425             2 WINS 1 LOSS          4 PTS GAME 0 PTS SERIES TOTAL OF 4 PTS





PURPLE ALIENS                  131      122     156           409             1 WIN 2 LOSSES         2 PTS GAME 0 PTS SERIES TOTAL OF 2 PTS
ATHENA & CRONUS             144      140     131          415             2 WINS 1 LOSS           4 PTS GAME 3 PTS SERIES TOTAL OF 7 PTS




ALBERT  WALDRON              120      130     175          425            2 WINS 1 LOSS              4 PTS GAME 3 PTS SERIES TOTAL OF 7 PTS
RELIGIOUS MUMMIES           110      135     129          374            1 WIN 2 LOSSES           2 PTS GAME 0 PTS SERIES TOTAL OF 2 PTS






LADDER AFTER ROUND 1



                                                   RP   GW SW GL SL    FOR   AGA       PTS



COSMOS KINGS                        1       3      1    0    0     468     413          9
ALBERT WALDRON                   1       2       1   1    0     425     374          7
ROUGH RATS                             1      2       1   1    0     418      414         7
ATHENA & CRONUS                   1      2       1   1    0     415      409         7
COWBOYS                                   1     1       1    2   0      453      425        5
RED DEVILS                                 1     2       0    1   1      425      453        4
OLD STYLE REBELS                   1      1       0    2   1     414       418       2
PURPLE ALIENS                          1      1       0    2   1     409       415       2
RELIGIOUS MUMMIES                 1      1      0    2    1     374      425       2
GIANT KILLERS                             1      0     0    3     1     413      468      0
Infamous one May 2019
working for mine
things between us are not fine
always respectful to you
you are rude neglectful
what happened to you
Everyone bound to change
Why stay the same
No big on drastic change
Everything goes away
Thoughtful memories remain
Told the truth real friends do
How you my friend bad mouthing
Behind my back more insults
Over the cold shoulder
Vic Nov 2020
You're quite pretty for a guy
You're quite pretty anyways
I like looking at you
A poem every day
27/6/20
Graff1980 Jul 2020
I’ve given up
on finding true love.

I’ve given up
on my writer’s fantasy.

I’ve given up
on my faith in humanity.

I’ve given up
on hope for a better future.

I’ve given up
on changing the world.

All that have is here and now,
enjoying life,
and just being kind.
Sk Abdul Aziz Jun 2020
I'm lying in bed next to my lover
And yet I feel a sense of loneliness within me
What feeling could be more worse than this?
Graff1980 Apr 2020
I could have been happy if,
I didn’t have to live with
the secret expectations
of someone who believed
in the ascension
of humanity.

I could have smiled more,
if the world that I adored
was filled with fellow hearts
that held compassion’s
glowing spark.

I could have been a better friend
if I hadn’t been condemned
to feelings and deeper thoughts
passions of a darker cost,
but as the rose wilted
all hope was lost,
all my childhood dreams got
caught, cut up, or co-opted.

I could have came home last night
and told you all it would be alright,
but I am too tired to lie,
and I am too tired to try.
So, I say goodnight to this deceiving dream
of believing in
the good hearts of my fellow humans.
Graff1980 Apr 2020
There is a melody here
made unclear
by the clutter of
collecting stuff,

and though I can’t play guitar,
I can still whistle
white hearted tunes
to turn sour silent hours
into less ghastly
beasts of reflection.

So, this is just a little bit of
talk therapy,
in the form of
stream of conscious poetry.
Antony Glaser Jul 2022
We could have met in Croydon
for a coffee,
The 468 bus from Ruskin Park
is still journey apparent
I thought we could have shared our past
Dyslexia 
but like silken ash you proverbially
waved me Adieu
although I tried to explain
Dungeness and its shingles

It almost like you wanted to preserve
confidentiality, despite partially opening-up
about needing teachers' notes.
Nonchalant does not suit you
the past is not a closed shop
its a bridge yet
for peer acceptance

— The End —