We live life each and every day
Wond'ring when we'll come to say
I am not afraid.
Spiders, clowns, nightmares
All seem so cruel, unfair,
Not to me.
I fear not death
Nor the smell of my breath,
I fear people.
Not thoughts or opinions
Or loss of dominion,
But unconsciousness.
I fear misinterpretation
And the discrimination
Of my voice.
Maybe odd maybe strange
And some day I may change,
But not today.
Call me different-- weird
Your words are only smeared,
For I am me.
I am the me that screams
Past all of my dreams,
At my reflection.
Nobody else hears it
'Cause I am scared to admit,
They won't realize.
I continue to block away
More and more, day after day,
And it doesn't help.
Growing vulnerable, weaker
Tying, retying my sneaker,
Living with fear another day.
I struggle with the mere trust that I must lay in someone else's mind in order for them to understand me. I just don't assume possible for some reason. I need help.