I stared at my monstrosities, I looked them in the eye, swimming in pools of ink.

Silent in their darkness, I spoke.

“I forgive you,” I whispered, breaking their unyielding gaze.

They reached for me,
a single claw, then many, tangled into a mess of limbs and bone.

Pulled into an embrace, thorny vines twist around me, their eyes lock on mine.

Resistance made the vines tighten,

I welcome them inside

Our embrace into melting and melting into growth,

creation

I stared into the mirror expecting to see a monster,

but all I saw standing before me was human,
flesh and blood,

and darkness too.

I welcome the new year under a foggy sky

Warm breaths glowing in the cold air

Bright smiles never lie

I hope I can teach myself some self-care

I hope I can try

I welcome the new year under a foggy sky

in the middle of Oklahoma

I don’t have time for senseless scribbles written by arrogant men, hailed as classics

But I’ll spend hours pondering a sentence written by the most somber silent woman,

I’ll listen to hear her quiet voice

"Well it’s over now"

is
what
you said

While you stared into my haunted green eyes

as you spoke
my heart broke

"It’s over for you,” I agreed.

The wrinkles in your hands echo ceaseless queries

I try and fail to piece together the patchwork puzzle of white lies and half truths

Your aura glows with warmth and light
but your shadows haunt me at night

I never knew maternal love could be so painful

Your scriptures guided your sight,
Turning the other cheek,
Blinded by light

While they tortured and abused your blood
They took advantage of your nature

I forgive the woman you were
I forgive your blind eyes

But in forgiveness lingers pain, searing, each time I see your face.

I went outside to look at the meteor shower

The sky was grey and foggy
The air was damp and cold

I tried to see the falling stars
But could only see the grey white sky

I wonder how many showers I’ve missed because of a stormy sky

I wonder how many falling stars I could’ve wished on