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What I Feel Jun 2017
Sit
and place your hands somewhere you cannot reach.
Breathe
just like each day you've lived and breathed before.
Feel
the tension building up within your spine.
Try
to fill your shaking hands with something new.
Fail
to keep your brittle, breaking will in check.
Run
your fingers through the graveyard on your head.
Fight
the urge that wants to pull you to the edge.
Lose
yourself in treacle truths and bitter tastes.
One.
You find that bare and balding patch of skin.
Ten.
Each pluck removes a tiny piece of sin.
Thirty.
The pain reminds your mind that you're alive.
Forty.
The shame reminds your heart you want to die.
Fifty.
Demonic hungers spur your fingers more.
Sixty.
And hair by hair you carpet wooden floors.
Eighty.
You picture faces of the ones you love.
Ninety.
Your innocence lives like a dying dove.
Hairs
in hundreds lie around your pillowcase,
around, not on, your sore and bleeding scalp.
Each time you vow to never pick again,
but Trich plays tricks and makes you take his help.
This poem is about my hair condition Trichotillomania (pronounced trick-o-till-o-may-nee-ah). Whilst I do sometimes pull subconsciously, most of the time it is an extremely compulsive urge, which is what this poem addresses.
Here is a link to give you more information on the condition: http://www.trichotillomania.co.uk/about_trichotillomania/diagnosis.htm
What I Feel Jun 2017
The finest mist of rain falls down
upon a grassy hilltop crest.
Far in the East, the sun is born
and gently wakes the world at rest.

A silhouetted oak stands tall,
its twisted branches hug the sky;
Beneath its bough I rest my feet
and listen to the Spring breeze sigh.

And at my side there sits a stone,
a single slab of charcoal slate
which marks the spot where once we sat
and through the sky watched comets skate.

"As Summer turns to Fall, my dear,"
you'd say, "all good things have to end."
But here I'll sit and dream with you,
my tender, dear departed friend.
What I Feel May 2017
Whilst rain may beat upon this drowning earth
and flood our minds with misery and pain,
a pale sun breaks her way out from the clouds
and gives us hope of life in light again.

For where her rays meet with dark clouds of doom
that thunder thoughts of hate on those below,
their bigotry begins to break away,
and our true shining colours show.
Embrace the rainbow!
The Pride flag represents a beautiful spectrum, and welcomes everybody. Love literally knows no bounds.
Take our rainbow as a promise of a beautiful life; we have endured the rain, and now our flag stands as a beacon of hope whilst we wait for a life in the sun.
What I Feel May 2017
Forgotten flame within my heart,
I pray you now burn bright.
Regain that spark that once was lost,
Live once again this night.

Burn deep within my soul once more,
Ignite my world anew,
Then flicker softly, light my way
And shine on someone new.
What I Feel May 2017
She fell back from her pack whilst the snow was still new,
She showed me her soul, I saw something I knew.

I am the loyalty, care and the love for my pack,
The warmth I can share in the cold nights of black.
I am the mother and sister and guard to protect
The heart and the home and the family perfect.

I am the scare and the scar and the snarl in the snow,
The hunt and the hound and the chasing the doe,
I am the fight to survive in a world full of fear,
But illusive, and timid, and as shy as the deer.


So I waited for her to slip into my mind,
But she padded away, leaving paw-prints behind.
Part of the series 'The Animal in Me'
What I Feel May 2017
O, howled the wolf up to the starless sky,
His pain as crisp as freshly fallen snow.
The sparkle left his burning amber eye,
for she had left him pining down below.

The wind caressed him coldly, planted cool
kisses of ice upon his frosty face,
but he was nothing but a lover's fool,
and waited once again for her embrace.

For jealous Winter stole her from his gaze,
and held her closely in his clutch of cloud.
Though chill had tried to quench his heart ablaze,
his song rang out among the mountains loud:

"My love is blind, and yet my love is true,
as here I save my last heart beat for you!"
What I Feel May 2017
I will be here, but I won't be here always,
You can't sit and grieve for the person you were.
I can't sit and soothe 'till the day that I die;
Only you can help you to get better.

I'm not in your head; I can't do it for you.
You need to wake up from this trance - please just stop.
I can't wave a wand and fix all your problems.
Only you can help you pick that chin up.

I don't see your issue; it can't be that hard.
All that you're doing is seeking attention.
This has to stop now. It has gone on too long.
Only you can help you ease this tension.

*I'm trying, I am, but it's not so simple.
If only you'd see life from my point of view.
I'm fighting so hard, but I'm failing alone.
I just cannot get better without you.
A frequent personal experience.
I know the metre is a bit funny but I was working towards syllabic patterns rather than a base pulse.
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