i only want one of two things,
**** whatever else the world brings.
to be with her forever
laughing along whichever whatever
changing challenges into our favorite weather
or not to exist,
a popped cyst
melted into the mist
fire always burns
but it only hurts if you can still feel
frost also burns
but why care if you've no heat left to steal
The One,
do you comprehend my words,
The One,
******* understand what you heard,
The One left me,
think you can touch that agony?
i novaed my way along
the first few days of forever
i glowed my giddy song,
even when sharing mundane whatever
i exploded with her into where we belong
when we were on an adventure
one day with The One
one night with The One
was wonder untold
never to grow old
the next & the next & the next,
each somehow better than the rest
(which should be impossible
given each's penultimate wonderful)
but blessed became cursed
and now each new day is the worst
i was walking hand-in-hand with happiness
now running begging towards emptiness
but i cannot escape this agony
cuz it's the cancer inside of me
and it's all my fault,
my failure fault.
not what i could have been
should have been
as a boyfriend
or a companion
just a loser lover,
and the judge was not miserly
sentencing my misery
did i happen to mention
that i found lose in my ultimate win
and far too far before forever
The One
threw away her clinton....
the blood-soaked splinters
of my broken heart
drip screams into my dreams
that never stop once they start
the mirror-shard memories
of my shattered soul
reflect what once was perfect
now whole only as a hole
both are buried barely breathing
in an eternal fetal curl
fantasizing about an end upon which they depend
romanticizing any means to meet that end
picturing the gun
(their new bestest friend)
with its whispered promises
of pain finally none
and never misses.
as i am imagining its caring companion
(which whistles thru the wind)
streaking seeking to blow my mind
& on its exit make my pain none,
sweet bullet so kind!
i want to kiss it
caress it
shower it with its favorite flower,
give it the champagne of my brain
but although my plea is loud,
this is not for me allowed.
Carla sent her life into hollow,
and i cannot let me follow
i was born
i laughed
i cried
the former much much more
years after first torn
i still laughed
i still cried
the former still somewhat more
then i met my miracle
and present & future were immediately wonderful
with surface & every single level beautiful
and i smiled & laughed & sighed & swooned
and whispered & whistled
with US the tune
then i ****** up
& she gave up
and i may occasionally laugh
but mostly i cry
the latter now infinitely more
Shannon & i kissed souls
but i murdered our miracle
now all i can do is wait
and beg it to reincarnate