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verwandlung Aug 2020
almost two years
and what i have done in those
two years alone

the sunflower stem,
broken and withered, it's wound
bare and vulnerable

is finally able to become
a subject of the love i should
have caressed it in

when all i could do
was leave it to dry up, it's soil
cracking and shriveled

but now, watered
and nurtured, and cared for
slowly and slowly

the leaves begin
to grow again, its stem standing upright
and the flower;

it's golden petals
begin to blossom and bloom,

the sunflower
becomes it's own sun, grown again;
now my own sunflower
the third and final part of the three parts, finished after almost two years
  Jan 2019 verwandlung
Like fine mature wine
Highly appreciated
Well recommended
  Jan 2019 verwandlung
Lady Misfortune
There's nothing in me,
but emotion and thought
In a field of sunflowers
I am a lily, that's lost.

Screaming, "save me!"
Trust me I know the cost
"Pick me!"

Let me writher and rot
Please do not leave me in gloom
I will not bloom next summer,
And I blame you.

I need to die to be alright
Help me rise again,
Hold me in your hands

You say, "I will be your friend"
Then you leave me in the dark
Bring sunflowers to the eulogy
You told me I was not them, but a lily

I do not have eyes, yet I know I am art
I want to glitter with the stars
I know you are the one who tore me apart

Stuck my fragments inside of a jar
Set me on fire
My inclination is gone

See me,
in the sky, and not in the mirror

See me,
in the pasture, and not in your tears

See me,
on the ground, and not as your fears

Do not dream of me, but remember me for years
My greatest heartbreak is to be forgotten.
verwandlung Jan 2019
I hung the sunflower
from a piece of twine
in my wardrobe,
some months ago now.

Something once beautiful,
a gift from you to me,
a symbol of us,

and the happiness we found
in eachother
as we grew and bloomed

So I hung it in the wardrobe
to preserve it.
To keep it. To admire it.
To cherish it for as long as we could.

And yet despite my attempts,
this sunflower’s petals
fell to the wardrobe floor,
it’s head shrivelling, wilting.

What could I do?
but leave it there
for days and weeks,
suspended amongst the clothes.

But the longer I left it,
unable to face
what I knew I had to do,
the worse this sunflower became.

We cannot restore
life into something
and decayed.

I sharpened my shears and cut both
the thin twine of the sunflower,
and the thin twine holding us

The dead sunflower hanging in my wardrobe
becomes the dead sunflower
lying amongst its own petals
on the wardrobe floor.

I am left to pick up the pieces
of what once was.
It was useless to try to preserve
when all flowers live, then die.
part two of a three piece collection I’m working on called ‘Sunflowers’.
part one is my previous published poem ‘i. Sunflower’, but this is the next ‘stage in the journey’, written a couple of weeks ago
i’m working on the third and final part (and stage in the journey haha) at the moment which hopefully should be better than this..?
  Jan 2019 verwandlung
I want to trust
but I can't
and I don't know if I ever will again

there was a time I trusted
far beyond the stars and moon

then one day it came crashing down like a meteor falling out of space
so out of place, it lies there broken
in an unknown place

here I am in a familiar place
not knowing where I am
who am i

i know everyone here not trusting a single soul
because they've all hurt me
always to leave

so here i am standing alone
in an unknown world
i don't want anyone

not anyone whos gonna leave
or hurt me
no one

id rather be alone
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