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You can feel the pain of life
cutting deep inside of you,
When you are out there swimming
On the edge of who you are.

You can see a mystic glow
That captures your attention,
Just before you find yourself
Abandoned in the dark.

You can taste the bitterness
Of loosing to the the universe,
Meditating on the sad things
That have made you who you are.

You can hear the hollow breath
That comes from deep within
Your chest as it it heaving,
When you don't know where you are.

You can smell the pheromones
And want to enter paradise
Of the intoxicating lifeforce;
Libidinous and stark.
This one kind of addresses what it can be like to have self-esteem issues, or uncertainty, and the experience of being ruled by it. However, this is not a poem about morality. I wrote it in the wee hours of the day I posted it.
 Mar 2015 Veena Aneev
xx
I used to be your sun
The only star in your day
That burns in the sky
But now I'm your moon
Who watches you over
Quiet in the shadows
Not a star anymore
Just someone you pass by
Because now I'm only
A single part of the night
That fades along with the dark
And no longer the reason
For you to wake up
“Hold on!”––
but it’s running everywhere.
Like I stabbed the center
of an inky squid. Or, rather
I just gripped the pen
too tight
that I suffocated it,
with everything I ever asked it to say.
Lenny loved it too much,
so did I. I guess it’s just the same.
It died
in my wanting hands.

So, the salt, and the water, and the ink
now run together as
I drag my hands through the ******
mess. I drown it all,
what I’d said–
Dead is yesterday.
The blood runs down
my arm and misses the sink:
on the counter
on the floor.
––“please,
just a minute.”

I have to wash the blue from my hands.
Always so stressed.
Im a mess, at best.
Lifes a test.
And I'm barely passing
Its distracting.
My thoughts attacking.
My vision blacking.
Passed out, people shout.
Depression no doubt.
These pills, give me chills.
But the calm is for real, ideal.
 Jan 2015 Veena Aneev
Elizabeth
It's always been this way
Behind the curtain
When I'd really rather be the starring role
Dark as the shadow that's cast over me
I feel incomplete
But how can I compete?
It's always been this way
Since the little boy in second grade
It's always her
Why wouldn't it be?
Who would pick me?
The whole world is screaming pick Her!
It's always been this way
I can't remember a time that It hasn't
Since she got asked to dance and I didn't
Since she got hot
And I'm still....not
It's ok I guess
It's always been this way
I wonder if this will ever change
Will I ever stop comparing myself
Will anyone really take me
Over her?
Well it hasn't happened yet
It's always been this way
This ***** a lot but I'm not a poet, sorry
 Jan 2015 Veena Aneev
xx
Empty Bed
 Jan 2015 Veena Aneev
xx
This empty bed of mine
Longs for you tonight
Would you stay here for a while
Only for the meantime
Just give it a couple of minutes
Try it just for a second
And if you do, at least
You have thought of it
And it'll be warm again
Like how it used to be
Like how it was
Being slept on with you
When I used to be alive
 Jan 2015 Veena Aneev
Dark Jewel
Forever may her wings be,
Upon her back for eternity.

Always may she love,
Soaring upon golden skies.

So beautiful,
As bewildering as it may seem.

She's your guardian Angel,
One only you.
Can see.
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