he loves me...
he says beautiful words
he tells beautiful stories
he looks at me with adoration,
or
at least
it seems that way...
he loves me not...
he doesn't always remember me
he doesn't always acknowledge me
he doesn't always keep his promises
yet
it seems like
he loves me...
because his bright smile shines when he sees me
because his eyes shimmer when he sees me
because he told me he loves me
but
words
don't mean anything
right?
he loves me not...
because he hurt me
because he scarred me
because he told me he hates me
yet
words
don't mean anything
right?

the room is quiet
my thoughts are loud
i see shadows
i see demons
i see my future in the ground
the rope is tied
the gun is loaded
i see the end
i see death
im shattered and broken
death is a friend
i am not scared
death is near
death is good
no one really cared
the room is cold
my thoughts are quiet
im at the end
im with death
how else could i have fixed it?

the constant ticking in my head is painful
all i can think about is the
tick tick tick
echoing in my brain
the sound bouncing off my skull
it hurts
im sad
im anxious
tick tick tick
almost like a finger impatiently tapping
like someone is impatiently waiting for me to die
so the ticking will stop
so the ticking will cease
and I won't hurt
i won't be sad
i won't be anxious
i won't be imprisoned by the demons
or the
tick tick tick
i need a solace from the torture
a solace from the pain
from my heartbeat
from my life
i can't take the
tick tick tick
a gun
a pill
a rope
an antidote to life
an antidote to the chains
an antidote to the infuriating
tick tick tick
that goes on inside my head
pull the trigger
swallow the pill
tie the rope
end my pain
end my sorrow
end my life
anything to end the
tick tick tick
anything to end the feeling of
tick tick tick
tick
tick
tick
click
click
click
silence

I lie here,

Covered in shame,
All I can think about is my mistakes,
Nothing I've done makes
This life worth living...

Someone listen to my cries or
Let me die.
Each breath is
Excruciating...
Please, let me sleep forever

there is something in my head,
something deep inside me,
living off my happiness and
expelling all my conscienceness

this thing inside my head,
the thing that's deep within,
whispers things to me and
tells me who to be

the thing inside my head,
the thing that's deep within,
is poison slowly killing me and
only death can save me

demons in my head,
demons deep within,
demons come to **** me and
only death can free me