Your scent.
I could swear this is your scent. Why is my heart racing ?
Maybe im scared to see you again.
Scared you’ll look at me like I’m worth existing. That i won’t be able to pretend i don’t love you anymore.
Because i swore i moved on,
But you still visit me in my dreams.
I swore to myself you were gone,
Because i can’t admit that for 3 years, 156 weeks, 1095 days, and 1576800 minutes my heart still memorizes the rythme of your name.
I see you from now and then, and i could recognize the wreckage i fell for.
I see you but i can’t bring myself to accept that my absence is just another regular day to you, but your absence -
Your absence bruises me slowly, deadly.
you breathed air into my lungs when i felt as if im suffocating, and you nurtured the fire in my soul when my light went dark.
I find myself ordering your favorite coffee instead of mine.
I find you in everything beautiful, like the world carries pieces of you within it.
I find you, reflected in the softest, most breathtaking moments, and i can’t do nothing about it. So i just smile.

Look at world with simplest eyes;
A child in wonder why black is night
Nor why does sun makes you blind—
Watch flowers in the field of rubbles,
Chase butterflies with love in mind;
To be free of spoilers and stereotypes,
O, child look at them with simplest eyes.

come closer.
I won’t waste breath on lullabies.
I’ve gnawed the years,
spat blood and marrow.
If you want the taste,
the true taste,
take it alone.

Drink alone.
Stagger the road alone.
Laugh till your ribs split—alone.
Howl till your lungs tear—alone.
And when sin claws your door,
let it in,
alone.

Alone is the blade.
Alone is the wound.
Alone is the grave.

Guard your fire,
your shame,
your cursed name.
No one carries it for you.
No one shares the dirt.

When the earth shuts its jaw,
it swallows each skull
alone.

I taste
Your lips
On mine still
I don’t want the taste
To be there
Anymore
I brushed
My teeth
I still
Taste you
On my lips
Where I don’t
Want you at

when people are in love
they often say
they simply fell
tripped over their own two feet
face forward
and into the arms of their beloved

i did more than simply fall
onto the ground of your love

you, for me
were an ocean
and i dived
headfirst
roughly
harshly
almost painfully
into the waters of “you”

i knew i could not swim
but i did so anyway
i was drowning
entangled in you
surrounded by this being of “you”
engulfed in this feeling of “you”

and i did not know what came over me
but i let myself drown
i did not try to swim back up
because if i went back to land,
releasing myself from your grasp
that would mean losing the feeling of “you”

and after
submerging into the depth
the love
the passion
of “you”

how could i ever leave?

She was like music,
and I longed to dance.

Her heart was the beat,
and I begged for the chance.

Her words were the vocals,
and I was put in a trance.

Her smile was the melody,
and I fell in love at first glance.

If I gave them sight,
they’d curse the gift,
find shadows in light.

Their hearts are sand
forever dry,
a grasping hand.

I wonder!

So I guard my gaze,
let lashes veil
a fragile maze,
where dignity can quietly prevail.