You wiped your hand down my chalkboard                                         erasing pieces and bits of me                                                               ­   Leaving  partial pictures and words                                                            ­mixed  in with blurred memories                                                         ­      A smear of dust in white                                                            ­                        as  I go fading away                                                             ­                          disappearing from your life                                                             ­                      I was never meant to be in anyway

You act like I owe you something,                                                       ­                     
                                                                ­                                                      
was it a favor that you said?                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­   
Because I owe you nothing,                                                         ­                           
                                                                ­                                                      
you can get that out of your
head                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                      
All I see when I look at
you,                                                             ­               
                                                                ­                                                          is everything that I've been
  through                                                       ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­        
So, what do expect I'll do                                                               ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­          
when you're the person who                                                              ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­ 
didn't care when you made me cry,                                                             ­     
                                                                ­                                            
walked away with hate filled eyes                                                             ­     
                                                                ­                                              
Every single time I tried                                                            ­                              
                                                                ­                                                
  you killed what was left
inside                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                            
Funny how things turned around                                                           ­               
                                                                ­                                                  
ever since I stood my
ground                                                           ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­      
You never thought I could                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­     
even though you knew I should                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                                 
 You will no longer hold me down                                                             ­             
                                                                 ­                                                 
  my eyes are wide open now

You do not know me,                                                              ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­                   
too caught up in
you                                                              ­                      
                                                                ­                                                     
 and that just shows
  me                                                            ­                                    
                                                                ­                                                      
you really don't want
to                                                               ­                                 
                               ­                                                                 ­                        
So many chances
given,                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­          
as you make your excuse                                                           ­           
                                                                ­                                              
 Only one life I'm living                                                       ­                             
                                                                ­                                                      
and I feel I'm being used                                                             ­                     
                                                                ­                                               
 Why am I still with
  you?                                                          ­                  
                                                                ­                                                      
  I don't know
anymore,                                                         ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­          
I thought I loved
you                                                              ­                                
                                                                ­                                                  
but I need something more                                                             ­     
                                                                ­                                                  
  Do I make it too
easy                                                             ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­              
for my needs to be ignored.                                                         ­                                                       
                                                                ­                                                    
It's you I've been pleasing,                                                        ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­           
  you take my all and more                                                             ­                                               
                                                                ­                                            
Now empty and
depleted                                                         ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­    
  you leave me feeling blue                                                             ­                           
                                                                ­                                            
Angry and
defeated,                                                        ­                                
                                ­                                                                 ­                     
I can't keep loving you

You made me so feel desperate                                                        ­                    trying to just hold on                                                               ­                     Then  I became pathetic                                                         ­                    when  I realized you were gone,                                                                  I  had thrown  myself at you                                                                        more  than a time or two                                                                        You  had  ripped my heart into                                                    ­              a  thousand  pieces  of blue                                                             ­                    That was a long time ago                                                              ­            you  hurt me more than you know                                                        but  I've  had time to grow                                                                      pulled  myself out of the lows                                                             ­    Now  things have changed                                                          ­                       I'm happy all over again                                                            ­                           and you're acting so strange                                                          ­                 trying to get me to reengage                                                         ­                  You only want me back                                                     ­                              To  fill the void inside of you                                                                                To make up for what you lack                                                             ­    with  my thousand pieces of blue

Bitterness, anger, disgust & hatred                                                           ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­            
  the resentment for you inside me rages                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­     
I don't have anything left to lose                                                             ­             
                                                                ­                                                          
I have given my everything to you,                                                             ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­      
  and this is what you gave to
me                                                               ­             
                                                   ­                                                                 ­  
You have left me emotionally damaged,                                                         ­     
                                                           ­                                                           
you have left my shattered heart ravaged                                                          ­                                        
                                                                ­                                                          
If I had had the choice to choose,                                                          ­    
                                                                ­                                                      
I would not ever have loved you                                                              ­    
                                                            ­                                                      
 and this is what you gave to me

Hot tears sliding down flushed cheeks,                                                          ­        
                                                        ­                                                      
gasping sobs that make it hard to speak                                                            ­                                                
                ­                                                                 ­                                         
  I wipe the tears from your warm
face,                                                            ­          
                                                                ­                                                      
but they resurface and are
replaced                                                         ­                 
I see your eyes they're filled with
    pain,                                                       ­                 
                                                                ­                                              
comfort you over and over again                                                            ­          
                                                                ­                                                        
I'll hold you all night if I must,                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­         
fill you with love till you say enough                                                           ­       
                                                         ­                                                             
I know you need someone tonight,                                                         ­       
                                                         ­                                                     
allow me to show you some
light                                                            ­  
                                                              ­                                              
Forget whatever is hurting you,                                                          
                                                                ­                                                    
    let me put life in your eyes, so
blue                                                            
­                                                                 ­                                                     
I want to wipe those tears for good                                                             ­   
                                                                ­                                                    
  Let me love you, the way I
should                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­
   If you could open your heart to
  me,                                                          
                                                                ­                                                    
   I'll put a smile on your face, permanently

I know you know you hurt me                                                                         ­                                                     
with words that were damaging                                                                             ­                                                  
I'd wait around for an apology                                                                                ­             
Wanted you say you were sorry        
                                                   ­                                                                   
I'd get angrier every passing day                                                                       ­                                                
And you never had anything to say                                                                      ­                                               
Like a fool I'd forgive & forget                                                                          ­                                       
Thought you still loved me yet                                                                              ­                                               
 kept chasing you as you ran away                                                                           ­                           
 Until I saw the truth today                                                                    ­                                    
 You never really loved me                                                                   ­                                        
  And that's why you aren't sorry                                                                          ­                                                     
I never had you to begin with                                                                        ­                                                
That is the sad fact of this                                                                         ­                                                       
I wished you had let me know                                                                                                                      
  Because I would have let you go      
                                                        ­                
  I know you never really loved me,                                                                    ­                                                
                                                                                                                
  But I was too in love to see

Wilted  red roses left on the table                                                            ­       their heads  now  bowed  down in shame                                                  once  a symbol we were stable                                                           ­       in  our  love so vain

I thought that you were hard to read                                                             ­   I thought I misunderstood your energy                                                              I had hoped you were my twin flame                                                          now I see I am a pawn in your game                                                          I  almost wish I never saw the truth in you                                                but  the receipts of deceit are written all over you                                                              ­                                               The  only thing that has been consistent                                                       ­    is  the lack of a real commitment                                                       ­              I've  been doing some checks and balances                                                         ­                                                     as you've become a mountain of challenges                                                       ­                                          You  only continue to be a disappointment                                                   ­                     a  pest, a flea, a fly in my ointment

Wayback when I was a teen                                                             ­    a phone  call cost a dime                                                             ­                    My  daddy had some mixed feelings                                                        about  my now husband at the time                                                        We were going out on our first date                                                      I  brought him in to meet my dad                                                                  Daddy   said  don't  stay out too late                                                       we  tried to get out of there fast                                                                          He  slipped a  dime in  my hand                                                             ­       said  you  call me if you need me                                                       at  the  time I didn't understand                                                       ­     Come  to find out he saw it all clearly                                                          ­   Years have come and have gone by                                                              I'm still with that man and I realize                                                         I've  given too much and over compromised                                              till I'm no longer someone I recognize                                                      My daddy passed a long time ago                                                                  but he still watches over me , I know                                                           because for years everywhere I go                                                             I'm  still finding dimes that say, "Hello"                                                 At  first I didn't think much of it                                                               ­        I'd put them in my pocket and forget                                                           ­     But that was merely the onset                                                            ­      I  have over fifty now, I am blessed                                                          ­      Every  time that I've needed him there                                                       To  feel his love, to feel someone cares                                                     I'll  stumble across one in an odd place                                                 and  his love brings a smile to my face

Just to add insult to injury                                                           ­                        you're taking her where you took me                                                          telling everyone she is your girl                                                             ­     trying to shake up my broken world                                                            ­ Are you happy it's hurting me?                                                              ­         Does she know she'll be the next to be                                                                just another on the list you made                                                                       of those you use and degrade                                                          ­                   If it didn't look like jealousy,                                                        ­                    I'd forewarn her of your tendencies                                                       ­        She is just a pawn in your game                                                             ­  another victim with a different name                                                                  I hope she sees you for who you really are                                      before  you add her heart to your jar

I am stagnant, in slow motion                                                           ­        knee  deep in a blow painting of emotion                                                         There are chaotic thoughts abound                                                           ­my  minds  become a battleground

I can no longer rely on memories,                                                        ­            
                                                                ­                                                        
of when I loved you & you loved me                                                               ­                             
                                                                ­                                                    
 I've been trying hard to remember when,                                                          
                                                                ­                                                      
we were lovers, we were friends                                                          ­                                                                
­                                                                 ­                                                       
A thousand years ago, so it
seems,                                                           ­   
                                                             ­                                                        
 since we treated each other like human
beings                                                        
                                                                ­                                                      
It was easier to hold on to the
past,                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                                    
than it was to make our love last                                                             ­ 
                                                               ­                                                       
I know I must occupy some same part,                                                            ­                                              
                  ­                                                                 ­                                 
in the withered ***** you call a heart                                                            ­                      
                                                                 ­                                                     
I know we have gone way past the time                                                          
                                                                ­                                                    
  of when our love flourished on the vine                                                  
                                                                ­                                                    
At least allow me some civility,                                                        ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                        
  and let go of what's left of me

When the day comes that God calls you home,                                        
                                                                ­                                                        
   I hope I am with you, so you won't be alone.                                                      
                                                                ­                                                        
  I often try think of what I could do,                                                              ­
                                                                ­                                                        
to make that departure easier for you                                                              ­      
                                                          ­                                                                
I know you like me to sing to you,                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                          
if I can, I will, I promise you                                                              ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­   
I'll try not to cry, put on a brave face,                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                      
you are not someone I could ever replace                                                          ­    
                                                                ­                                               
  When I see you make your way to the light,                                            
                                                                ­                                                      
I will comfort you, hold you tight                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                 
 The stars for me will still shine bright,                                                          ­      
                                                          ­                                                            
I know you're up there & are you're all right                                            
               ­                                                                 ­                                  
No one else could fill that hole on in me,                                                        
     ­                                                                 ­                                      
though I may try, however foolishly                                                        ­        
                                                        ­                                                        
Once someone like you touches my heart,                                                
          ­                                                                 ­                                         
I'll need someone to love so I don't fall apart                                                      
     ­                                                                 ­                                            
My days for me will never be the same,                                                    
       ­                                                                 ­                                          
  I'll never forget you, forget your name                                                        
                                                                ­                                                  
I'm sure I'll say remember you with a smile,                                                           ­   
                                                                ­                                                     
 it will bring you back if even for a little while

She was as fragile as a bird                                                             ­       broken  wing, song unheard                                                          ­    Mosaic pieces held  by scars                                                          she  was  once a shining star                                                             ­        She had a fine and delicate soul                                                             ­   leaving her open and vulnerable                                                       ­          She needed someone to understand                                                       ­      be  her protector and a gentleman                                                       Someone who  would shield her from pain                                         who  could teach her to love again                                                             Until  that day she will forever be                                                               ­    a  fragile bird in captivity

I woke up sad this morning                                                          ­                       after days of feeling blue                                                             ­       dark  clouds have been forming                                                          ­           keeping  me feeling subdued                                                          ­  I've  remained  in isolation                                                        ­                       to  try to  gather up my thoughts                                                         ­          or   to attempt a transformation                                                   ­     maybe   it  is all for naught                                                           ­            Either  way I need seclusion                                                        ­             behind  my wall I feel safe                                                             ­          Let  the  world see the illusion                                                         ­        even  though it is all fake

After  years  of  you  giving me the silent treatment                                                        ­                                          if  no  one  calls  I  think  it's because  of a disagreement                                                     ­                             Because  of  your consistent  lack  of communication                                                    ­                  sometimes  when  I talk, I forget people are listening                                                        ­         Convinced I am never enough or  I'm too  much                                                        ­                                                I overdo for others in hopes of earning their love                                                             ­                                                     Under your  sense of grandiose entitlement                                                      ­                                                      I've  put myself last and under your judgement                                                        ­                                                    With persistent efforts to  disrespect me                                                                                                                          I  over explain and apologize habitually                                          I've  accepted bread crumbs of your affection                                                        ­                                             a love  concocted of toxin and poisonous venom

Aww, your life isn't turning out like you want it to be                                                               ­                                                     so  here you are showing up hoping you could come to me                                                               ­                                                  thinking  that I could give you guidance or some sympathy                                                         ­                                                        even  after  the way you treated me so callously                                                        ­                                   Tears  in  your eyes and your all apologies                                                I  can  see  the manipulation so clearly                                                          ­  Funny,  not too long ago this would have worked                              but  now  any love I ever felt for you has been purged                                 The  *****  on you, to think that I would believe                                     in  anything you think you're going to achieve                                 I'm  going to push you away because I need to be                                  no  longer  there for you, but here for me

I'm holding onto a makeshift raft                                                          sailing  into a hurricane's wrath                                                            ­             Tossed  around in a sea of emotions                                                         ­ trying  to navigate a turbulent ocean                                                          The  waves crash in mercilessly                                                      ­ choppy  waters, dangerous seas                                                             ­   in  the perils of uncharted territory                                                        ­ drowning in tempestuous energy

Fall is here, leaves are changing                                                     mountains  on fire under the sunlight                                                         ­  As  I walk, I start praying                                                          ­       thanking  God for this beautiful sight                                                       The  cold crisp air is all around me                                                               ­    as I button my coat up tight                                                            ­                 I  am a  young child all over again                                              kicking  leaves  with adolescent delight

Open up let me give you a taste                                                            ­               of the hell in my life  that you gave                                                             ­        always right there is no other way                                                              ­    just shut up and do  what you say                                                              ­  I  stood  up and you flinched at my strength                                                 I've pushed back and kept you at arm's length                                             You  hate that the tables have turned                                                            You  get  to  feel  what  it's like to be burned                                                   All the power and all of your hate                                                             ­      Is  something I no longer  tolerate                                                 ­ My  decisions aren't up for debate                                                           ­     You've  held me down for long enough                                                     Didn't realize it made me so tough                                                            ­ Thank you for being so rough                                                            ­             All  it did was build me up

Repressed memories slowly resurfacing,                                                   resentment filled, plagued by self- guilt                                    Filling  the  cracks with wet sand                                                             ­     doing  it alone, all by hand                                                             ­              Unwilling to feel, unable to deal                                                             ­    Unable to heal , unhinged, unsealed

I gave you love that you didn't deserve                                                          ­   and you gave me nothing in return                                                            Like  a fool, I chose to believe                                                          ­     that  someday you, too would love me                                                  No  pressure here, I was always waiting                                                  doubting  the truth ,that you weren't full of hatred                                 You  said I made your life more comfortable                                             I  say you, made my life more miserable                                                   Like  a  dog, I stayed loyal to you                                                                 did  things no woman should be asked to                                                   I  have been your lifelong slave                                                               shackled to someone who never gave                                                         I  have been doing the impossible task                                                             ­     that has taken everything I have                                                             ­   I've  been tethered  and  bound by vows                                                      that  you have broken before, then and now                                              My  love and hate are equally felt                                                             ­ I play the hand that I 've been dealt                                                           My biggest hope and my only prayer                                                           ­  Is that this all ends sooner than later

I know you only want to talk                                                  because you  know  I'm  going to walk                                                                I  met  your childish silence                                                          ­ with  strength  and defiance                                                         ­  You  thought that I would cave                                                             ­ Stand  back while you misbehaved                                                       ­    Now  that  your  tower moment is here                                                         all  that ego has disappeared                                                      ­    While  you  gathered stones to throw                                                     I  was growing on my own                                                              ­          You  were full of foolish pride                                                trying  to  conquer and divide                                                           ­  You  always knew I dealt in truth                                                           and  that's something you can't do                                                           This  is your consequence                                                      ­                     This  is your tower moment

Outlined by the bonfire                                                          ­              she danced in the moonlight                                                   Her  eyes  filled  with desire                                                           ­                  the color of pale blue apatite                                       ­                                    She looked right at him                                                              ­         as  he  smiled  up at her                                                              ­                                                                 ­                                                  She  twirled while humming                                                          ­              he  could sense her allure                                                           ­                The  flames cast shadows                                                          ­                        on  the trees and the sand                                                             ­ as  their  laughter echoed                                                           ­             she  reached for his hand                                                             ­               The  stars twinkled brightly                                                         ­              the  air full of romance                                                          ­               as  he  pulled  her in tightly                                                          ­              he  wanted to stay entranced

Scared and anxious mother to be                                                               ­feels  all alone and is only eighteen                                                      she loves the child she can't see                                                              ­  it  doesn't matter if it's a he or she                                                             Irresponsible  dad, took off when he heard                                                   won't  be around to hear his child 's first words                                          Birthday  parties he will never attend                                                           ­ He  won't be thought of or mentioned                                                        ­         She prepares with a meager wage                                                        dollar  store trinkets for her precious babe                                                             ­                          She knows love  doesn't cost a thing                                                            ­  and you can't put a price on the joy they bring                                         She  will rise up to every occasion                                                         ­   do  what it takes with no hesitation                                                       ­   Teach  and  show her beloved baby                                                   how  to  be more like her and less like he