I've hidden it for such a length,
All the pain and suffering,
I believed my hidden strength,
Would be all this enduring,

Guess I was wrong about it all,
Now my bottle starts to crack,
My heartbeat now feels so small,
As if I'll get a heart attack,

That pain is what I may've known,
It may just be what I did hide,
Never may all this be shown,
I'm just not ready for that ride,

They said you're so mature,
So emotionally intelligent,
Guess It's in your nature,
A kid ever so diligent,

Intelligent? I know my feelings well,
I know them better than you think,
But there's a reason I will tell,
Who would I tell? I've got no link,

About my feelings I have told,
Only to one other,
Perhaps I'll just let it here unfold,
Not even my own mother,

I know so well only because,
I've only told things to myself,
None to give a round of applause,
I listened for my better health,

I really needed to be heard,
So I just made myself that guy,
A person who would say a word,
No need to give another try,

Despite it all I keep on going,
Despite it all I still have hope,
Despite it all I keep on growing,
Despite it all I climb this *****.

It's what I crave,
The thing I desire,
But I'm not that brave,
So I just admire,

Admire the one,
For whom I do live,
Without whom I'm none,
There's not much to give,

So what if I ain't,
That guy that she likes,
Should I just faint,
Or give it more tries?

Can't I be loved by any other,
Is that task just way too much,
I never wanted to be a bother,
But if I am but seen as such,

Should I give up after all,
Just be... me myself and I,
Won't I really make one fall,
For who I am.... Wait who am I?

Now Again it strikes, this feeling once more,
Again I'm alone, with none to adore,
Again I feel hopeless, I tried to take action,
Again I'm a mess, built no real connection,

How sad is the truth, how much can I handle,
How long can I last, just like a lit candle,
If only I knew, how hard this would be,
If only I knew, my reason to flee,

Now just a few days, are left in this place,
In just a few years, not one knows my face,
If this is the truth, I'll have to live through,
If this is the truth, then why'd I meet you.

Life is like a ticking clock,
No one knows how much's in stock,
No one knows what lies ahead,
No one knows when they'll be dead,

Life is a process not given clarity,
But no soul lives for all of eternity,
No soul is aware of when they depart,
No soul in here knows they're falling apart,

Life is so simple and yet it is hard,
It is hard to live it out with pure heart,
With or without these days I still live,
As for my heart there's not much to give,

Life is so cruel and that's just the rule,
Sometimes absurd I think I'm a fool,
Sometimes I wish things would have worked out,
Sometimes I cry and sometimes I shout,

Life is a path both uphill and down,
It is a pathway on which one might drown,
One better be careful and get a grip,
If on this dark pathway they wish not to slip,

Life is so short you better take note,
Take note of all the things you wrote,
The things you wrote may go down in history,
Though as far as I know they remain a mystery.

4 minutes past midnight,
the moon brought a new light,
My need for sleep has gone by,
I lay in my bed I wonder why,

I cannot let what's on my mind,
flee until I'm satisfied,
Can't let you know how i feel,
I lock the door with strength of steel,

12 minutes now in a new day,
Things still don't plan to go my way,
I need to rest to close my eyes,
I need to reach that paradise,

Now 30 minutes this seems strange,
Is my mind locked in a cage,
It seem I'm left with single thought,
Could I win if I had fought,

1 hour now my eyes are weak,
this is it I reached my peak,
my eyelids fell they felt so heavy,
Guess after all I wasn't ready.

Winter's passed time sure flew by,
Now comes new year, of you and I,
Winter's passed, we won't be cold,
Spring time's here, stories unfold,

Spring's a season, when natures rise,
A season some call paradise,
What once was white, now turns bright green,
It is a beauty rarely seen,

Perhaps you'd say it's full of life,
Perhaps you'd say it's full of love,
Perhaps the day when Spring has passed,
I'll stay awake to be the last,

Just one last person on that day,
To say goodbye, Spring goes away.

I have gone through life,
But It had no purpose,
A meaningless stride,
Nothing beneath surface,

I have had no goal,
No dreams, no ambition,
Life settled in stone,
A fool on an audition,

In that mindless state,
I have lived for years,
I altered my fate,
Got rid of my fears,

I'm glad I kept going,
Glad I haven't stopped,
This tree keeps on growing,
This soul never dropped,

I wanted to stop,
My meaningless stride,
I wanted to stop,
This life with no pride,

There was an option,
But I never took it,
Life's filled with emotion,
But I do not look it,

I never thought of killing myself,
That was a way I never entailed,
I never thought to hang on a shelf,
I never made a plan so detailed,

I never thought to jump from a height,
I never thought to fall to my death,
To fall from a place where one could take flight,
I never thought to take my last breath,

There was no point of going that way,
That's why I chose to live one more day,
A day in my life, meaningless at times,
A day in my life, a place full of lies,

Now here I stand,
No more beneath surface,
Please give me a hand,
I have found my purpose,

For I found my cure,
For it is to teach,
For it's  to make pure,
What others can't reach.