Ain’t it funny how we let love change us
Sometimes for the better , sometimes for the worse
We brake all our promises. Just for that one person.
We forget about our priorities and that was the first mistake.
There’s no time to explain, there’s only time to move on to the hurt. Which hurts to say goodbye.

I thought girls were the confusing ones
But your just the same?
You never know what you want.
You just play mind games

You just make things manic
With the same old excuses
I’m getting bored of your lies
Nothing’s the same anymore


Everything is just a mess
Like the girlfriend you said you didn’t have.  I’m glad whatever I said to you was just a bunch of lies

Time to change and get rid
Of the poison.  
Time to be happy again
Put a smile on my face again
Even if it’s just a fake one
To get me through the day

Some people be like dear diary
And I’m like hello poetry.
Here’s the story of my life.
Sometimes my life is filled with horror
But that’s just inside my mind....That has no honour .

I can’t sleep at night
I can’t eat
I always do what I want
If I get told to do one thing I’ll do another.
I’ve been here before playing the joker.

The voices in my head eat away at me every single second of the day.
Telling me I’m not good enough.
I just really want to feel okay.
And valued by the ones I love.

But how does someone let another in to fix what’s broken on the inside?

Why are men so confusing
One minuet they’re loving
The next they’re leaving you on delivered.
Or read. Like what the hell?
Maybe it’s because somehow it’s because we’re  listening to different songs and can’t sing the same lines.

It breaks me into pieces because I don’t know what I’ve done.
Do I give up?
Do I wait it out?
Do I give in and just send another message?
Why does it bother me so much when you ain’t even mine?

Was it because I like the thought of you?
Or is this just lust?
Am I just bored?
Or did I catch  get feelings?
I just wish I knew the truth?
Like what even is this?
The words I send you don’t even phase you
Anymore.
You just answer how someone would normally.
I might just be a clown.. but I really wanna know you.
I’m forever just punching.
But I’ll always adore you even if you leave me on delivered

Giving everyone a blessing everyday
Making them feel loved
Bringing a smile upon their face
Trying your best to make sure
Everyone is fine
Sending out the good vibes  even if I’m not at 100%
Getting drunk to num the sadness because
I Never wanting anything back from anyone
Then one day someone turns around
And says
You’re my daily blessing.

And my heart has melted and I’ve caught feelings for someone even more than I thought I would. Someone hit me with a brick

I tent to delete messages I type out
And think no I can’t send that.
Thinking are you in love with them?
Or just thought of them?

Going in and out of Dms thinking this is just a joke.
I can mess everything up within 5 minutes.
As I watch every second of the day go by getting either left on delivered or seen?
I should just scream I’m out. I can’t do it anymore.

But I like to watch the jealously of someone else being jealous of things I’m doing.
By calling me out on things all the time and trying to copy my behaviour...
Girl I won’t even bother trying to shoot your shot.

I just want to spill the tea on your behaviour
But I don’t wanna come across being a *****.
If only you left me out of your little rant
I wouldn’t be thinking of that. I just want to be left alone.

Yes I may like the same guy you do.
But don’t involve me when I haven’t done anything. Like I’m over and out.

Do you ever just see people
Struggling  to put your guard down?
And just want to scream it’s okay to let me in.

You could just use the line of oh I’m not like
All also other girls/guys.

And even though they can’t show their feelings,
You carry on trying. Because everyone around you says you are the perfect match.

So you just sit and tell them the most kindest words you can come up with nearly everyday.
And see if that helps them realise you won’t leave or hurt them.

You just want to show them love
The love people in the past didn’t really
Mean. To prove to them your here to stay.
To prove that your feelings you’ve showed them are genuine. Because you ...yourself have had real bad trauma coming from relationships.

You could love them just a friend or in a romantic way. As long as they’re happy your happy.
But you can’t help but to say
Do you ever just look at someone and think how is someone just so beautiful.