How it started just friendly message
Turned into flirting trying not to can’t feelings
Laughing with friends.
Thinking how long will this take to get out of hand?
They said I’ll give it a week.
They where right it got out of hand so fast.
Then the mixed signals started

So I told you I’m gonna send you a nice thing everyday until I run out of things to say.
I’m now 2 months 8 days in.
Giving you all the love you deserve because from the signs I’ve read someone hurt you
So bad you don’t want to admit  your feelings so you don’t get hurt.

But what you don’t know I’m not like the people you’ve met along the way. I’m different. I’ll shoot my shot every single day. To make sure you know I’m being serious.

I didn’t want to catch feelings it felt like it was gonna just be doing something because lock down is boring and I wanted to just flirt with somebody. But I was wrong I kinda realised I do in fact like you.
But I know I’m only gonna hurt myself  in the long run but boy you’ve got me hooked on you so badly and I hate myself for it

I probably could write a a million and one
Words about you. It feels so nice to get everything off my chest.
Every single word I’ve wrote on here is about you. Because I can’t get you off my mind.

One day you’ll find these secret messages.
To decode the past and the signs you missed.
People say I wish I’d flirt with them the way
I flirt with you... or I wish I had could find a boy who’d talk to them the way.. I talk to you.

Having ways to get back at you for nothing.
If I can make your cheeks flush I’m gonna just do it again and again.
I find it hard to sleep at night because I feel temporary and easy to replace.

My friends say I’m lucky,
I’m not even lucky in the slightest for anything.
if I was lucky the universe would of helped a girl out by now.

If I was lucky I’d have the guy of my dreams
If I was lucky I wouldn’t think about dying alone.
If I was lucky I wouldn’t cry myself to sleep.
If I was lucky so lucky  I’d have the biggest smile.
But I’m not so lucky I can’t even function tell people how they make
Me feel

It’s waiting for fake love. Wanting to feel alive.
Putting a label on everything. Well If I have to put a label on it.. I’d  called this untitled love. With a one way street.

Why is it I always want have I can’t have.
Then I run away from everything else.
I let my heart get broken over and over again.
Why do I tend to trust my feelings.
I don’t want to be in love.

I could write a million one words about you.
I tell myself no don’t message him. He’s not interested. Then message him anyway.
Just maybe if I vanished they’d notice.

Because sooner or later I’m just going to give up on the matter.
I always do. Because I hurt myself too much.
I wish I could stop dreaming about you and thinking about you 24/7
You’re just too bad for me.

I’m the only person you’ll meet
Who’d tell you the straight up brutal truth.
Maybe my words are too sharp.

Disappeared into an ocean of sadness
Turn and burn oh **** here we go.
Being hunted down.
Did he just buck it all the way to OZ

Hooked lined and sinker
It was like a rollercoaster  
Not known which track to take.
But nvm you where never mine

Trying to find the answers
while being stuck on yesterday
With my mind playing tricks on me.
Why does it have to hurt when you
Ain’t mine. No relationship just talking.

Maybe one day you’ll see what you missed
that one girl who’d never hurt you.
She lost hope when you left her on read.
She’s the one thinking what did I do wrong?
Was it the fact i expressed some love towards them?
Where’s the time gone? 2 months in and she’s confused. With mixed signals.
She knows deep down she doesn’t matter
She just wants validation from someone she admires.

I feel like I’m out of my mind.

I gave you my attention and you gave it straight back to me.such a fool I fell for it..cos I always want what I can’t have.
The amount I hate myself isn’t healthy.

I took sometime away from the commenting because I was only in it to hurt myself just a little more. It was a game ..a very dangerous game.

Trying to do sober January on day seven..
It’s hard when being lock up in this house,with these days just slip away 7 days a week

I got hooked on hopeless feelings
I just wanted to feel loved even if it was for only a brief moment... I confess I’m only hanging on by a thin thread some days.

Then getting the pain just slaps you in the face.
Because you’re not good enough or got the face of those pretty people.
Here’s to the hopeless floating around , not having anywhere to go.

You’ll never see this so it’s okay to post this..

A Punch line  comes   long but sometimes it can hit you in the face like a soccer punch

I feel so alone
I I just need your approval
I can’t get you out of my
Mind
I just need some time cos I’m sick of fading
Into the background .

You pretend you know how I feel
But you can’t follow your own advice.

Trying to tell others there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

When you’re sinking 6 feet into the ground
Waiting for the breakthrough to come around

We are just the lonely souls
Floating around