Someone once told me :
always remember that,
some people come into your life to make chaos.
and some people and come into your life to show love.

Some people will use you
Some people will always be there for you
Some people will be true
Some people will lie
Sometimes you will learn from a mistake
Sometimes you fall and that’s okay.

Sometimes you’ll  fall in love to hard
Sometimes you’ll cry alone
But you’ll be okay even if you’re alone

I fell in love with a player
Which screamed danger
But I fell for the charming words they used
Everything about them is adorable… but I guess I’ve been used.

But now i try to distance myself from you
Because I know deep down you don’t feel the same. It maybe hard to do but I’m gonna give it my best shot as I’m playing games with my own heart.

But I don’t know if I can out live this one
It’s getting bad for my health

My friends say I’m lucky,
I’m not even lucky in the slightest for anything.
if I was lucky the universe would of helped a girl out by now.

If I was lucky I’d have the guy of my dreams
If I was lucky I wouldn’t think about dying alone.
If I was lucky I wouldn’t cry myself to sleep.
If I was lucky so lucky  I’d have the biggest smile.
But I’m not so lucky I can’t even function tell people how they make
Me feel

you’re just my blessings in disguise but we’re
hiding from feelings that should be discussed
Everyone can see that there’s something there
But I shoot my shot ... it goes unnoticed by you. Every single time.
I’m just scared to find out the truth on.
Why everything is taken so long

Sometimes I leave myself to think about
A situation way too much and forget about life.
Feeling like I’m trapped. Running away from my thoughts. When all I want to do is talk to
You.But I can’t .
I wish I could just pick up the phone and talk to you.
I’m just hoping this thing we have can work out.
There’s only so much I can take before I’m done. In letting in some sort of love.

Reading the front pages
Why? Because you’re beautiful
To an unread poet and Whipping posts away,
It’s untitled leaking..It’s just like water,
An October sky It’s just a memory
A cry for the quiet... Burns A candle
For the lost in translation about Fake love
Falling for If they wanted they would.
I care that Mars is a red planet
I’m still here is A suicide note

Wishing I could free myself from this prison  and this island inside my head..
Because I can see a monster appearing
When I look into your eyes
I see a person I’ve never seen before.

It’s a blessing … It’s a curse
To feel everything so deeply
But I fell in love when I didn’t want too..
I will always be there for you
No matter how hard the situation is
Even if I have to take a step back


I like to say your name and call you my love
Just to see a smile on your face.
Even though you will never be mine I’ll always try my best to make sure you’re happy.

Maybe I’m not perfect but I’ll never give up on you.
Because I see something worth staying around for.
I could talk to you for hours and forget everything that’s ruining through my head.

Trying to avoid everything to protect myself from you and pretend that I never saw a thing.
Turns out I’m just a prisoner of my own mind.

Giving everyone a blessing everyday
Making them feel loved
Bringing a smile upon their face
Trying your best to make sure
Everyone is fine
Sending out the good vibes  even if I’m not at 100%
Getting drunk to num the sadness because
I Never wanting anything back from anyone
Then one day someone turns around
And says
You’re my daily blessing.

And my heart has melted and I’ve caught feelings for someone even more than I thought I would. Someone hit me with a brick

You’ve been warned, of the silence..
Always dreaming of tomorrow,
Everyday I love you more ,
It’s so beautiful and bright ,
Perhaps my dream came true,
He captured my heart , With his smile
But the world is cold
I miss your voice everyday,
Refresh a story , to start a victory ,
But stories always come with a twist,
But reality is I might be the one who fell in love,
I know he’ll never love back.
I know I should just move on,
But I can’t get you out of my mind.
Maybe I’m just sick and suffering for my stupidity?
Maybe one day you’ll find this?
And read it and think **** this is about me without feeding your ego.
But maybe it’s just me overthinking every situation,
Because I’ve always felt not wanted.
But thanks to you I know how it felt to actually be in love with somebody. Even if that love was one sided.

Forever wanting to join the 27 club because I can’t stand the pain.
I catch feelings for people I shouldn’t  because I know I’ll never date them, Or marry them.
My hearts been broken too many times I don’t know how many more times I can do this.
Forever trying to help others, but when I need it  no one comes.
People showing their true colours on how they value you in their life.
Trying to learn my own worth even though I feel worthless.
Realising these people would just fake cry at your funeral and they couldn’t even take a minuet to ask you what you’re doing for your birthday.

One day I’ll just vanish off the face of the earth and they probably still wouldn’t text you.
You’ll soon realise what you’ve lost and you’ll have to learn to accept your

It’s always hit or miss with you
Sometimes you can catch fire in my heart but some days you can also just burnt out just as fast.
I fell for you so fast with all these feelings
Will this  end up like a car crash ending?

Like that one song I heard on the radio
I don’t need no more friends.
Forever kicking myself asking am I doing the right thing?

Tell me that I’m wrong? Crushing each one of my feeling down because I don’t deserve anything.

I said my eyes fell in love
That’s true in-fact it was love at first site
It’s hard to admit the fact that I have genuine feelings.
Without getting hurt or disappointed
How did I let my heart fall in love
There’s no way I’ll live through this one.

It’s been awhile now been waiting for so long
Hoping you’d come around .
I thought that you’d of realised that I’m here for the long run.
So why am I still waiting?
Is it selfish that I want you all to myself?
Is it awkward to tell you that I think of you all the time?
And really wish you’d where here with me.

Disappeared into an ocean of sadness
Turn and burn oh **** here we go.
Being hunted down.
Did he just buck it all the way to OZ

Hooked lined and sinker
It was like a rollercoaster  
Not known which track to take.
But nvm you where never mine

Trying to find the answers
while being stuck on yesterday
With my mind playing tricks on me.
Why does it have to hurt when you
Ain’t mine. No relationship just talking.

Maybe one day you’ll see what you missed
that one girl who’d never hurt you.
She lost hope when you left her on read.
She’s the one thinking what did I do wrong?
Was it the fact i expressed some love towards them?
Where’s the time gone? 2 months in and she’s confused. With mixed signals.
She knows deep down she doesn’t matter
She just wants validation from someone she admires.

I feel like I’m out of my mind.

Trying to forget you wishing I didn’t meet you
Because my heart is breaking
There’s so many things I want to say to you
But you’re not mine and it just seems weird saying these things to a stranger.
Can’t even call you a friend.

From the moment I met you
Tried to fight off the feelings of lust
Now I’m stuck with the feeling of love
I tried so hard not to fall and get hooked
But it failed and now it feels like getting hit by truck

There’s so much discontent but I’d wait forever and patiently for you.
For you to realise what you have right in front of you
But sometimes someone can’t wait round forever cos’ it ends up with you watching them fall in love with someone else in the end.

But I’m happy if you're happy
I wish you would believe me when I tell you
You deserve the world and so much more.
I might sometimes have a way with words
but most of the time I’m sinking
Painting a fake smile upon my face.
So I’ll just sit and watch from the distance.

You can be in a room filled with the most kindest people, having a blast where it’s 2am. And all I want is to speak to you or even just write you a cute little message. I thought I’d never say this about anyone… sometimes I think maybe these are just true feelings… I never want anything at all back I just urm want to make you feel happy and loved.
Wonder if someone could tell me if it’s okay to be thinking all these things even if you don’t feel the same or say you can’t talk to me how I want you too… but it come back around to I never want anything. I’m just being nice because you deserve to feel loved

When a person you’d rather not speak to creeped up out of cracks of hell to annoying you. Instead of someone you’d rather talk to yeah that sounds about right

I don’t know why I’ve let it bother me if someone creeped out of the cracks of hell. Trying to mess with me enjoying life for even a brief moment , they seem to come around to ruin the good vibes

Maybe I’m just not a loud to be happy in my own little bubble without anyone. Maybe I just find some sad girl **** to do.


I mean I did forget they existed until they randomly popped back into my life
It’s was like I’m not interested mate
Like please crawl back down that hole
You came from because I’m so done

How it started just friendly message
Turned into flirting trying not to can’t feelings
Laughing with friends.
Thinking how long will this take to get out of hand?
They said I’ll give it a week.
They where right it got out of hand so fast.
Then the mixed signals started

So I told you I’m gonna send you a nice thing everyday until I run out of things to say.
I’m now 2 months 8 days in.
Giving you all the love you deserve because from the signs I’ve read someone hurt you
So bad you don’t want to admit  your feelings so you don’t get hurt.

But what you don’t know I’m not like the people you’ve met along the way. I’m different. I’ll shoot my shot every single day. To make sure you know I’m being serious.

I didn’t want to catch feelings it felt like it was gonna just be doing something because lock down is boring and I wanted to just flirt with somebody. But I was wrong I kinda realised I do in fact like you.
But I know I’m only gonna hurt myself  in the long run but boy you’ve got me hooked on you so badly and I hate myself for it

I tent to delete messages I type out
And think no I can’t send that.
Thinking are you in love with them?
Or just thought of them?

Going in and out of Dms thinking this is just a joke.
I can mess everything up within 5 minutes.
As I watch every second of the day go by getting either left on delivered or seen?
I should just scream I’m out. I can’t do it anymore.

But I like to watch the jealously of someone else being jealous of things I’m doing.
By calling me out on things all the time and trying to copy my behaviour...
Girl I won’t even bother trying to shoot your shot.

I just want to spill the tea on your behaviour
But I don’t wanna come across being a *****.
If only you left me out of your little rant
I wouldn’t be thinking of that. I just want to be left alone.

Yes I may like the same guy you do.
But don’t involve me when I haven’t done anything. Like I’m over and out.

Some people say our happiness and love is magical.
I fell in love with the idea of you
But In my heart it maze well be dead
Realising  true love hurts because it’s so powerful.
But it brings sadness to your life especially if it doesn’t seem to be going right
He’s so beautiful wishing he could be my forever.

In my heart everyday and every night
Catch me heading for a blackout from the heavy drinking.
But my loneliness comes creeping in
Wishing for memories to disappear.
I don’t need your pity because I know I let you down that one day and ruined everything.
I wouldn’t want to remember me either.

Even if you say my messages make you happy yet you leave me on delivered….yet maybe you say you can’t  reciprocated the feelings but something that makes you happy is reciprocating the same feelings.
You’ve been a beautiful distraction but my heart turns numb too quickly but I can’t wait for you forever.

A Punch line  comes   long but sometimes it can hit you in the face like a soccer punch

I feel so alone
I I just need your approval
I can’t get you out of my
Mind
I just need some time cos I’m sick of fading
Into the background .

You pretend you know how I feel
But you can’t follow your own advice.

Trying to tell others there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

When you’re sinking 6 feet into the ground
Waiting for the breakthrough to come around

We are just the lonely souls
Floating around

Some people be like dear diary
And I’m like hello poetry.
Here’s the story of my life.
Sometimes my life is filled with horror
But that’s just inside my mind....That has no honour .

I can’t sleep at night
I can’t eat
I always do what I want
If I get told to do one thing I’ll do another.
I’ve been here before playing the joker.

The voices in my head eat away at me every single second of the day.
Telling me I’m not good enough.
I just really want to feel okay.
And valued by the ones I love.

But how does someone let another in to fix what’s broken on the inside?

Why are men so confusing
One minuet they’re loving
The next they’re leaving you on delivered.
Or read. Like what the hell?
Maybe it’s because somehow it’s because we’re  listening to different songs and can’t sing the same lines.

It breaks me into pieces because I don’t know what I’ve done.
Do I give up?
Do I wait it out?
Do I give in and just send another message?
Why does it bother me so much when you ain’t even mine?

Was it because I like the thought of you?
Or is this just lust?
Am I just bored?
Or did I catch  get feelings?
I just wish I knew the truth?
Like what even is this?
The words I send you don’t even phase you
Anymore.
You just answer how someone would normally.
I might just be a clown.. but I really wanna know you.
I’m forever just punching.
But I’ll always adore you even if you leave me on delivered

I run away
I ruin everything
I break my own heart into pieces
I tell myself that no one loves me
I tell myself no one would miss me
I stay up late and just stare at my ceiling
I scream to myself *** what’s the point
I’ve put my walls up so high no one can try to get in again.

I’ll never love anyone again

A Curse of falling in love with the right person wrong time.
Finally coming to terms you’ve lost your chance in this moment in time.
The heart aches comes running in ,
How can a heart hurt so much when they weren’t even yours?
Stuck within the feeling of wanting to wait around but you know deep down inside..
You need to just set them free, because you just want them to be happy. Even if it comes around to pretending you’re happy.
Even though you just want to scream
And shout why can’t anything go right for me?
Am I just too clingy? Or afraid of losing you?
Is it something I said? But after all this in the end I’ll never regret the time I said… love you while looking right into your eyes.

I’m addicted to the temporary highs you can give me they mean the world. But they always come with a  down fall .
I’ll never fit into any other culture
Awkward silence crushing self worth
But my heart always runs back to you.
I truly believe it’s meant to be. As I found you at my worse. There’s a click and I can’t get you off my mind.

I don’t do love or relationships
But for you I’d do anything
But I wish both our energies matched more often.
That’s how i am right now… specially when I get lost in my thoughts

Thinking it’s a waste of time
What’s the point if I’ve tried so many times
When every time is ignored
Thought I’d give feelings one last go
What a fool I was to do that
I’m only relevant when  It’s suits you.

I’ll bring pretend I didn’t send anything it’s
All in your imagination by pressing unsend.
I can put you on mute also.
Trying to keep myself together when I’m falling apart.
Putting a fake smile on my face everyday pretending that I’m fine.
Sometimes people say you write the best things in your life when you’re sad or hurt
I guess they’re right..
I wish I never let myself fall for you maybe it was just the thought of you.

It’s waiting for fake love. Wanting to feel alive.
Putting a label on everything. Well If I have to put a label on it.. I’d  called this untitled love. With a one way street.

Why is it I always want have I can’t have.
Then I run away from everything else.
I let my heart get broken over and over again.
Why do I tend to trust my feelings.
I don’t want to be in love.

I could write a million one words about you.
I tell myself no don’t message him. He’s not interested. Then message him anyway.
Just maybe if I vanished they’d notice.

Because sooner or later I’m just going to give up on the matter.
I always do. Because I hurt myself too much.
I wish I could stop dreaming about you and thinking about you 24/7
You’re just too bad for me.

I’m the only person you’ll meet
Who’d tell you the straight up brutal truth.
Maybe my words are too sharp.

Do you ever just see people
Struggling  to put your guard down?
And just want to scream it’s okay to let me in.

You could just use the line of oh I’m not like
All also other girls/guys.

And even though they can’t show their feelings,
You carry on trying. Because everyone around you says you are the perfect match.

So you just sit and tell them the most kindest words you can come up with nearly everyday.
And see if that helps them realise you won’t leave or hurt them.

You just want to show them love
The love people in the past didn’t really
Mean. To prove to them your here to stay.
To prove that your feelings you’ve showed them are genuine. Because you ...yourself have had real bad trauma coming from relationships.

You could love them just a friend or in a romantic way. As long as they’re happy your happy.
But you can’t help but to say
Do you ever just look at someone and think how is someone just so beautiful.

You’re like a tapeworm that’s stuck inside my head. I try to forget about you, it just doesn’t work
I know deep down you don’t feel the same. But I can’t stop liking you.

I wish I could ease the feelings it would be a lot easier.
I play fake scenarios  through my head thinking am I overthinking the whole  situation.. because things you said can mean two things..

But all this overthinking is dragging me down
I just don’t know what to do anymore
I wish they was a such a clearer sign... but
Now I’m just stuck in a limbo instead my head.

I tell everyone I love them if they mean a lot to me. Because I didn’t get to tell one of my friends I loved them before they died. And if I think you’re good looking I’ll tell you that even if I can’t have you.

If I get told to do one thing I’ll do another.
I’ve been here before playing the joker.
Painting a fake smile upon my face.
Telling myself if you’re happy then  I’m happy too.

Having too much patience watching from the distance.
Cos’ I could write a million one words about you.
I play fake scenarios  through my head
Even if I’m overthinking in the end

We both have our own demons
That we fight everyday
The addictions to drugs linger
But who am I to judge?
Playing a dangerous game but I’m only going to hurt myself

I’m traumatised by the past and trying to show other people genuine feelings even though they don’t believe a word you say.
Shooting my shot everyday even though
Every day I do .. I fail.
I tend to just break my own heart
Just to try and bring myself happiness

I gave you my attention and you gave it straight back to me.such a fool I fell for it..cos I always want what I can’t have.
The amount I hate myself isn’t healthy.

I took sometime away from the commenting because I was only in it to hurt myself just a little more. It was a game ..a very dangerous game.

Trying to do sober January on day seven..
It’s hard when being lock up in this house,with these days just slip away 7 days a week

I got hooked on hopeless feelings
I just wanted to feel loved even if it was for only a brief moment... I confess I’m only hanging on by a thin thread some days.

Then getting the pain just slaps you in the face.
Because you’re not good enough or got the face of those pretty people.
Here’s to the hopeless floating around , not having anywhere to go.

You’ll never see this so it’s okay to post this..

I thought girls were the confusing ones
But your just the same?
You never know what you want.
You just play mind games

You just make things manic
With the same old excuses
I’m getting bored of your lies
Nothing’s the same anymore


Everything is just a mess
Like the girlfriend you said you didn’t have.  I’m glad whatever I said to you was just a bunch of lies

Time to change and get rid
Of the poison.  
Time to be happy again
Put a smile on my face again
Even if it’s just a fake one
To get me through the day

Sometimes I wonder why I even bother man,
Playing a dangerous game with myself over and over again... from reading in between the lines.... I tell everyone I love them anyway... because it’s nice to feel loved now and again...
But I’d rather die alone...  I mean I’ve been mega broken since May last year so... what does that matter anyway.  I’m done and dusted over anything or everything in a matter of seconds. Don’t know what you did in my pass life everything I do or say I’m always lonely even with company but whatever.

Perhaps if I go away again everything will be better.  Too turn off notifications let’s faces it only a few care anyway...

How do you know if you are okay,
I can’t get you out of my head
Every time I try to get you out of my mind
I see something that reminds me of you.

I wish you’d just hate me
I take photos to just get at you
But you don’t even bat an eyelid
I just wish I could forget you


Time moves so quickly I just want to
Talk to you for hours on end
But you have the nerve to leave me on read
I don’t know who you think you are
I hope you’re happy enough to expect
Your L
Because you will be loosing the best thing in front of you

Someone who’d of done anything for you
Someone who care so much about you
But you can’t see that.
She doesn’t care what you do for a job
She fell hard out of nowhere for you.

I probably could write a a million and one
Words about you. It feels so nice to get everything off my chest.
Every single word I’ve wrote on here is about you. Because I can’t get you off my mind.

One day you’ll find these secret messages.
To decode the past and the signs you missed.
People say I wish I’d flirt with them the way
I flirt with you... or I wish I had could find a boy who’d talk to them the way.. I talk to you.

Having ways to get back at you for nothing.
If I can make your cheeks flush I’m gonna just do it again and again.
I find it hard to sleep at night because I feel temporary and easy to replace.

They say you were never in love… it was just a fantasy story …with the scenarios you made up inside your head. Then it leaves you questioning everything you’ve done… asking yourself are they right?
Did I just fall in love with the idea of them… knowing they’d never be mine… always falling for the people I can never have ..

it’s such a travesty….it always ends up in heart break
Trying to put myself back together again
How could I let this happen again
I’m done with being lost and swollen my pride…

Ain’t it funny how we let love change us
Sometimes for the better , sometimes for the worse
We brake all our promises. Just for that one person.
We forget about our priorities and that was the first mistake.
There’s no time to explain, there’s only time to move on to the hurt. Which hurts to say goodbye.

I try to distance myself from life
There’s always that one person I want to talk to everyday
I try my best not to give in my which is very hard once you catches feelings for them.
But leaving people on read is like leaving someone speechless? Or getting left in a supermarket by a parent? Don’t know which one is the truth.

Seeing many signs that are possibly just red flags
Around each different corner stuck not known which detection to go...
just running round and round  wondering where the future going to lead

You can leave me on read
Cos I know you’ve got your own demons
But I have my own too, they eat away at me.
There’s only one thing you need to know  is the truth.

You’ve made me feel something I haven’t in a long time . You’re driving me crazy and my life is such a mess. But you leave me with a smile on my face even though I get nervous around you.

This is like a letter you’ll never read, yeah that ***** but ,  I needed to get my thoughts out
I can’t keep them to myself no more. I’m sick of them eaten me alive. I’ll hype you up no matter what even if I’m down.

I’ll carry on trying to break down your walls... cos you deserve the world. Even if that means I have to let down my own guide . And hurt myself in the long run.

Another day I go through all these bad thoughts
Battling with them day in and day out
Trying my best to go along
My friends don’t understand

But I sunk to my lowest point
Wanted to end it all and I came across
A video that was talking about giving up
And they said  give it one more try.
So that’s what I’m going to do even though
How much I don’t want to be here
I’m gonna give it one more try for another day