the depths of my longing
is sealed in silence
and a cheerful smile

a smile that feels real
and a rubbery fake
at the same time

and yet...

it is precious,
important

for a lying smile is a lifeline
and the truth is suicide

I envy those who have nothing to hide.

Thrashing, kicking
Struggling to break free.

From a barless prison
That's inside of me.

desire and fear
passion and abomination
intertwined -- such is the chaos
smothering my mind

the throes of terror
and sickly melancholy
torment me...

haunting and creeping
the only reality
in this stillness

I am a goodness without its wings
I am evil without its fangs

To myself
I'm an enigma

Grayish skies of silent mourning
Clouds of regret, ennui, silence
Wandering aimlessly

A trickle, and another...

A raindrop

Then a tear...

The skies mirror
my loneliness.

Life's meaning is a number: 42
For the universe won't care about me and you
It's up to us to seek out what's true
Or, remain in silent despair
Like some people do.

Deep Thought has proclaimed:
"Existence means the number 42"
Absurd, odd, unacceptable
Some might vehemently argue

But Deep Thought was right
And we still have no clue
For the reason why you're here
Is really up to you.

Commonality
The desire for belonging,
The need to run away from isolation
The origins of insensitivity

This is the mentality of the bully

What is normal is confused with
Desirability, goodness
Herein is the soul
Of the tyrant.